How long would you leave your 6 month old baby with your mum for if you wanted a break?

[Naetha]

Apologies for the slightly hypothetical question, but how long would you leave your 6 month old baby with your mum for if you wanted a break?

As a first-time not-yet-mum I just don't have a clue how long is considered too long. My mum very happily offered to look after kiddie-to-be a couple of times in the first few months, and I was hoping that we'd be able to get away for 3 or 4 days for a festival we always go to. Does this sound reasonable? Obviously it depends on the circumstances at the time as well, but for example, how old was your baby when you went for your first weekend away?

[tubismybub]

Ds was four months old when we left him with my mum for 3 days. He was perfectly fine

[Desiderata]

Well, my ds is now 2.7 and we've never had a weekend away without him.

It depends on your mum, I guess. It's hard work looking after babies, and I would think that 3 to 4 days was a bit long, unless your mum was very fit and very willing!

[Othersideofthechannel]

For the baby it should work out fine if by then it is on formula or happily taking expressed breast milk from a bottle.
For you it may be harder to leave such a young baby for a few days.
I left 9 month old DS with his father for the weekend for work reasons. It worked out fine for all parties.

[nickytwotimes]

i've not left 10 mo. ds overnight yet, but this is cause i'd miss him more than the other way around! i also wouldn't want to because i'm a control freak! so long as he/she is used to granny, then i'm sure they'll be fine.

[tassis]

totally up to you

i wouldn't leave my 6 month old with anyone for more than a few hours (well maybe a day if I had to!)

think ds was about 15 months when we had our first night without him!

[littlepicklesmum]

All depends on how you are really, how far away, if you B/Feed. I had DS June 2006 and thought would go to festival in the Aug but didn't, think would have done if few months older.

[Jojay]

My DS is 6 mths now, and although I haven't left him for that length of time, I think I could if I had to. However, I think I would miss him loads and a weekend would be long enough for me.

I think it probably depends on how involved your mum is with the baby, and how well they know each other. There's also the logistics of breast feeding if you're doing it, though many people have given up by that stage esp. if going back to work.

Saying all that, I'm sure plenty of people have left their babies for that long or longer - my friend left hers with her husband for a week at 6 mths while she was on a training course, and really enjoyed the break.

I think at this age, it's more of a mummy guilt problem that the fact that the baby might miss them, or whatever.

Might be an idea to wait 'til the LO has arrived before booking the tickets though.....don't underestimate the power of the mummy guilt!!!

[Ceebee74]

I would say it depends on you and your mum.

I had loads of grand plans when I was pg with DS - leaving him with my parents for a couple of days so me and DH could have weekends away etc....

When he was born, I just couldn't leave him - he is now 11 months and I still have not left him overnight or even for an evening (mainly now cos circumstances are that we just don't have any available babysitters). However, he goes to nursery 3 days a week and I think that has helped me get over my protectiveness.

I was surprised by my strength of feelings about it as I really didn't think I would be so protective of him - so personally I would see how it goes.

[Ceolas]

Your choice. When I read the thread title my initial thought was a couple of hours.

I recently left my 3 for 3 nights, aged 7, 5 and 3. Couldn't have contemplated it before then.

Others do though. It depends on how you feel. You need to wait til baby actually arrives to know.

[WigWamBam]

Don't make any decisions now; you may feel very differently about leaving the baby once s/he arrives. Plus, if you plan to breastfeed, leaving a baby is pretty impractical

My dd is 6, and the first time we left her with anyone was Christmas last year - six months ago. I simply couldn't have done it any earlier, and it still felt very strange even at five and a half - even if it was only for 15 hours. I wouldn't have left her at six months, I simply couldn't have. Some people are happy to do it; I wasn't - and you won't know how you feel about it until the baby is here.

[nickytwotimes]

what many have said below is true - wait till he/she's arrived. you'll be surprised how you feel about leaving them then. i was the least maternal person in the world, until ds was born.

[Wotz]

3 months old, stayed overnight as we went to a friends wedding. Hated every moment of the first few hours, then enjoyed myself. But couldn't wait to get back.

[Lizzer]

Hi Naetha, I think it depends on lots of things. Like, if you're b/feeding and if you actually feel like being away that long.

I was quite young (24) when I had dd and didn't leave her til she was 18 months old for 1 night, then after that more frequently and for 2 days at a time. I b/fed for a year and TBH think i'd have been ready for an overnight stay not long after that 12m mark (but didn't have anything to go to!) I was really worried about leaving her though - I even posted on mn about my fears!

One ff mum I know always has the weekends 'off' and leaves lo with her mum, since she was a few weeks old but my friend still hasn't left her ds now 2y2m overnight, bless her- she's sooooo besotted with him/slightly nuts

It's a shame you can't take the lo with you, I know people who've taken their kids of all ages to festivals.... A possibility or not?

[serenity]

Before DS1 (pfb) was born I aimed to return to work when he was 3 months (thought I'd be bored at home) and planned on taking advantage of MIL babysitting on a regular basis.

I'm still not quite sure what happened but giving birth turned me into such a wuss it was unreal. I didn't leave DS1 overnight until he was nearly 2.5, and that was only to go into hospital to have DS2! I had so many plans though, I just think my brain mushed in the delivery suite.

So....there's nothing wrong with leaving your 6m old for 3, 4 days or even a week, but I wouldn't make absolute rock solid plans until you've had your DC - you'll probably be fine but better to be flexible just in case

[TheBlonde]

For me, I'd only leave them a couple of hours
I left DS overnight at 8 mths but I was in hospital. Only left him overnight again at a year as we had a wedding.

[yogimum]

6 months, just for one night, our wedding night. Couldn't wait to get back I missed him so much! We had considered going away, thank god we didn't. I left him again with DH at 9 months to attend a course and was so upset I nearly came home half way through. Wait and see how you feel!

[purpleduck]

I left my ds, then 5 months for i night, and i do believe i might have dies if it was more I truly could not believe i could miss someone so much. Try one day first before you do the 3/4 day thing!!!

[MrsFish]

I agree with what a lot of people have said, I was all set to carry on doing our weekends away etc and to a certain extent have managed it, but I do hate being away from ds. I first left him overnight at 3 mths, and did a two nighter at about 9mths. The most I have ever left him was 3 nights last month and he has just turned two. He has been absolutley fine all times, I don;t think he really missed me, but I missed him like mad.

As others have said, take it as it comes, you might find that you really can not bear leaving your lo for so long so early

[cece]

Personally I wouldn't have been able to leave her that long at that age but wait and see. If you are BF then it might be trickier.

[LucyLu1981]

Sorry to hijack the thread but has anyone had the problem of their mum WANTING to keep DC overnight? My mum is desperate to have my DD (3.5mths) overnight but I just can't do it! She thinks I am mad!

[ska]

i know someone who left her 3 month old with her mum for 2 weeks!

[LucyLu1981]

Sorry Naetha I think I killed your thread

[MerryMarigold]

My mum loves having ds (now 18mths). I bfed till 11 mths so he couldn't stay away, but I was gagging to get him off the boob so I could have some time with just my husband. Now he goes for 2-3 days once a month. He settles fine as he is used to it, and he sees her once a week as well. I wouldn't feel comfortable if he didn't know her well, but as he does it is no problem for him.