bonded with son straight away but didnt with daughter feeling really guilty.

[lins1uk]

hello all,
i had very bad depression when my daughter was born 3 years ago and didnt feel i bonded with her like i should have,
i have bonded with her now and love her so much but i dont feel as close to her as i should be if you know what i mean ??
anyway i have a son hes 9 weeks old and we have bonded instantly i felt the bond straight away and i feel so guilty because i didnt feel this with my daughter from birth,
i havent really thought about it until recently and feel really bad about it,
does any1 else feel the same and how do u get over the guilt ????

[beckybrastraps]

Yes. I remember exactly the moment I fell in love with ds (my first). When I had dd and it all happened straight away I did feel guilty for a moment, but now that moment of realisation with ds is so precious to me. It actually feels more special than dd, because I shared the special time then with dh (who instantly bonded with both our children), whereas with ds it was just me and him. I'm smiling now just thinking of it. And I feel no guilt at all

[Pinkchampagne]

I had this with my second child. I bonded straight away with DS1, but after suffering from ante natal depression throughout the pregnancy & having lots of other problems, I didn't bond with DS2 at all when he was born - infact it took around 3 months.
I do understand the gulit because I could barely look at photos of DS2 as a newborn without crying due to guilty feelings, but really, like Fio says, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You clearly love both of your children now, and your DD, like my DS, will just know they have a mummy who loves them.

[Upsadaisygoonpunkmakemyday]

Don't be hard on yourself.....these things take time.

[Megglevache]

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