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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Why do poeple get dissappointed about having another boy??

190 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 11:14

Yes, I know I was upset about ds4 not being a girl but I found out so I could get it straight in my head. I knew I wouldn't feel sad for long and I didn't but it really comes up such a lot on here.
I don't think I have ever seen a thread when someone is dissappointed with the sex and its a girl.
Ever, not in over 4 years as a MNer.

OP posts:

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LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 11:19

Avtaully its not just another boy either.

it seem boys are alway 2nd choice regardless whetehr is 1st, 2nd, 3rd....

OP posts:

Aloha · 15/05/2007 11:20

I am sure I have seen at least one disappointed in a girl thread, but yes, boys seem less desired than girls atm.

wurlywurly · 15/05/2007 11:21

when we had ds2 I sort of wanted him to be a girl, but knew in the back of my mind he was a boy. I wouldnt keep going just try and have a girl, my nephews gf is having a baby girl so I will spoil her instead

nogoes · 15/05/2007 11:21

Boys are fab. I am not even ttc yet and still people say to me "Oh will you be really disappointed if you have another boy?"

Maybe it is because people want a little mini me.

iclimbedupamountain · 15/05/2007 11:21

Might be different on 'dadsnet' perhaps?

MrsApron · 15/05/2007 11:21

i would have liked a boy. i have two dds.

LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 11:22

you've been here longer than me though Aloha

OP posts:

BarryScott · 15/05/2007 11:22

I know...

Its very strange....

I look at my 2 and its just so lovely to see them together...

ahundredtimes · 15/05/2007 11:22

Mother's have expectations about girls I think, it might come up if you asked fathers if they were disappointed about not having a boy? I
I always think it's a bit sinister, as though the expectation is that their daughter will be a great friend and go shopping with them in later life. How if she lives in Miami and is a brain surgeon instead and never wants to see you?
I had a dd after two ds's and was secretly thrilled, but then felt guilty about the ds I wasn't having, if that makes sense.

iota · 15/05/2007 11:22

my dh wanted boys - he got his wish

me, I didn't mind either way

Dropside · 15/05/2007 11:22

because people are stupid?

Tiggiwinkle · 15/05/2007 11:23

I have no idea why LTH-I have 5 boys myself! I was never disappointed and certainly did not have them all "trying" for a girl-although that is always what people assumed.

fuzzywuzzy · 15/05/2007 11:24

I'm positive I've seen disappointed in girl threads in the past.

I don't have a preference when expecting as I didn't expect to be able to get pregnant, so I was delighted with the fact of being pregnant full stop. Think dh would've liked dd2 to have been a boy tho, personally I love both my girls to bits and imagine I would've done so had they been boys.

Dropside · 15/05/2007 11:24

More people disappointed as more people find out the sex before the baby is born too.

oliveoil · 15/05/2007 11:25

I think you get comments whatever you have

When I was pregnant with dd2, people said oh I bet you want one of each etc - erm, not really bothered actually

and someone once said to dh - shortly after dd2's birth! - that his son had had another child and "thankfully it was a boy, I was really disappointed when the first was a girl, you want a boy really don't you"

and dh said "well I have 2 girls so not really" and thought (you wanker)

LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 11:25

I've thought of a brilliant reply when stupid poeple say "Ohh didn't you want a girl then??"

I'm going to say "Nah..they offered me one at half price with a book of first class stamps but I didn't want it!"

FFS, why are poeple so odd....I'm sure I'm not the only who knows you can't choose.

OP posts:

Lizzylou · 15/05/2007 11:27

I always wanted one of each, as I had grown up with a brother. So I wasn't disappointed that I'd had a boy with DS2, just that my silly childhood vision of what my family would be like was not my reality.

Boys are great , my DS's are heaven sent(although, for once, I would love to play with a doll/fairies etc rather than pirates and trains!)

HuwEdwards · 15/05/2007 11:27

LTH, after the thread yesteray, I thought exactly that. For me it was the fact that I was convinced beyond all reason really that I would have boys. Ended up with girls, but really and truly, would've been happy either way.

BonyM · 15/05/2007 11:27

We have 2 dds. DH didn't want dss as he is one of 4 boys and not close to any of his brothers. I wasn't bothered either way but am very happy with girls!

BarryScott · 15/05/2007 11:28

I would be a bit lost with a girl tbh...

I have 2 brothers so have always been very tomboyish, I can however so a pleat and a ponytail so maybe I would be okay....

My neighbour had a little girl and she was very "mature" for her age, she talked like her mother, her mother was very gossipy/bitchy.

I found it very strange. It scared me off girls. (JOKE)

franpatson · 15/05/2007 11:29

I have 4 children, 3 boys and a girl, the youngest is 4 months and when i was 28 weeks i found out she was a girl and cried for a few days as i wanted another boy! however the minute she was born i was thrilled. I think nature looks after you and no matter what expectations you have when the baby is here you always think "oh yeah that is what i wanted actually"!

trice · 15/05/2007 11:29

I did a "dissapointed shes going to be a girl" thread a couple of years ago about dd. I'm not now, obviously, as she is great. I loved my ds so much that I just wanted another one just the same. Strangely dd is actually just like her brother but in pink (quite litereally as she is going through a naked phase at the moment). I think people get a fixed idea in their heads about the perfect family for them which rarely turns out as planned. It takes a bit of getting used to. I think getting pregnant is a bit like opening a packet of revels - you can't be sure what you are going to get and you may end up with the coffee one.

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BarryScott · 15/05/2007 11:29

sorry I had to run off half way through typing that so therefore came back typed hurridly and missed a whole sentance out

Dropside · 15/05/2007 11:31

yes girls are crap boys are great

lets not polarise this one...

Gameboy · 15/05/2007 11:31

I have 2 boys and have to confess I was a bit disappointed when I found out DS2 was a boy at 20 weeks.

Of course now they are just 'my boys' and I wouldn't want to change them for the world .

BUT, in answer to the question...

because I think parents imagine children growing up as mini-mes and that's harder if they are not the same sex
because Mums imagine having a special girl-to-girl bond with their daughter(s) (whether thath's true or not is another debate entirely!)
because Mums can understand what it's like to be a daughter themselves, and perhaps want to try to do things differently to their own mum?

I have to say that 'wistful' is probably how I feel when I see Mums with daughters arm-in-arm, or Mums combing daughters' hair at the pool, or Mums watching daughters at ballet lessons.

I hoped one of my friends might make me godmother to a daughter, but they all had boys, or chose someone else ...

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