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eeek - am I an old prude to find this shocking?

30 replies

geekgrrl · 03/12/2006 18:29

Dd1 (7, Y3) told me yesterday about all the 'fancying' that goes on between the boys and girls at her school, and that a Y5 boy keeps saying another one of the Y3 girls is 'hot and sexy'. (what's worse [and very sad] is that this girl is actually dressed to look 'hot and sexy', her 'school shoes' are knee-high high-heeled black boots for instance)
Then had to explain to dd1 what 'hot and sexy' means. Kind of difficult really!

I find this really vile. Glad no boy has told dd1 that he finds her hot & sexy - dh would be round there like a shot to have a word with the parents.

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edam · 03/12/2006 18:30

eek indeed but maybe the boy doesn't quite realise what it means?

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geekgrrl · 03/12/2006 18:32

I know... but still. He doesn't even have older siblings. And comes from a very well-off family. Where on earth do children get this kind of thing from?

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SecondhandRose · 03/12/2006 18:33

Rather worrying that a 7/8 yr old is wearing high heels to schol. My DD says that a boy loves her in her class (apparently this is true) and she asked what we were doing at 5pm on Sat as he wanted to take her to the cinema! Yeah, right.

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SantasFattymumma · 03/12/2006 18:33

i don't think i would be overly worried about the boy saying she is hot and sexy as i doubt he fully understands what it means, probably just that he thinks she is pretty and that he likes her.

i do find children of that age being allowed to dress in such a tarty and very mature fashion quite frustrating though.
It is the sort of parents that allow this sort of atire that go and abuse peadiatricians in the belief they are child abusers.

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geekgrrl · 03/12/2006 18:41

yes, I really don't get this thing wih high heels or slutty clothes on small girls. The parents of this child don't seem like complete f*ckwits, either. I think they think her outfits are 'cool'.

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ChristmasCaroligula · 03/12/2006 18:59

I'm surprised the school allow it.

Who are these fuckwits who allow their children to wear deforming shoes?

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maewestyemerrygentlemen · 03/12/2006 19:36

Don't think there's anything prudish about objecting to pre-pubescent girls dressed like prostitutes. In my day we had t-bar flat shoes (choice of red or blue) and liked it or lumped it .

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kasdie · 03/12/2006 19:39

my dd1 is 7 and wears knee high boots with a little heel it dont mean she is dressed like a tart as long as the skirts are not short what is the problem my dd1 wears her boots with trousers most of time

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SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve · 03/12/2006 19:42

I think heels for little girls should be illegal. They are damaging to the developing feet, as well as totally inappropriate and unnecessary.

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Twiglett · 03/12/2006 19:43

vote in schooliforms

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dara · 03/12/2006 19:46

Oh FFS, I wore purple and lilac cork wedges with a little platform at junior school - begged and begged and nagged and nagged for them (which will give you an idea of when 'my day' was ) AND I had purple and lilac 'hotpants' at about 10. They were fashionable when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
I was a virgin at 20 and went to university and live a pretty respectable life these days. On the PTA and everything. And my feet are fine. I think some posts here are somewhat hysterical tbh.

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maewestyemerrygentlemen · 03/12/2006 19:49

'My day' wasn't that long ago, think my mum was just mean . Of course, by the time I was 15 I dressed as sluttily as I could...

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robinpud · 03/12/2006 19:51

geekgirl- there will always be kids like this but there are lots of normal kids. Dd (9) has had a young gentleman caller who bravely came twice last weekend only to find her out and told her he would be back with his football this sunday at 10.30.. which he was. They played football for half an hour and then he went home.
I never judge the book by the cover .. dubious clothes don't mean necessarily that the child is anything other than lovely.

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LemonTart · 03/12/2006 19:55

My DD1 is constantly pestering me to allow her to have boots for school. The school uniform list clearly says black, low heeled shoes and so that is what she wears. I do feel like a real meany when I see loads of other girls in high heeled fashion shoes - but then smile when I see my DD legging it around the playground kicking a football better than a lot of the older boys there is no way a lot of the girls in heeled "school" footwear could run and play properly like children should be able to.
There is nothing wrong with boots or footwear with a (small) heel for primary sch children - but not in school surely

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dara · 03/12/2006 20:39

I hated running around then, I hate it now!
My shoes were not the determining factor.

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edam · 03/12/2006 20:43

High heels are just plain wrong for two reasons - permanent damage to growing feet and sending completely the wrong message about precocious sexuality. The whole point of high heels is that they are sexy. Allowing a child to wear them is mad, frankly.

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SantasFattymumma · 03/12/2006 20:49

my sister is 13 and wants boots for school. the answer is no.

she has some flat black suede slouch boots for casual wear and the only pair of shoes she owns with a heel were a present from my gran.

i really do not feel it necessary for young girl to be made to grow up aany faster than they already do.

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NoSPACEatTheInn · 03/12/2006 20:52

even my 15 year old dd doesnt wear heels to school, they are bad for develoiping feet anyway, but i absoloutely hate with a passion to see pre-pubescent girls done up like mini adults, its not right, children should be allowed to stay children.
when i was at primary school i wore startrite t-bar brown leather shoes and knee length socks

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SantasFattymumma · 03/12/2006 20:57

and no one is saying that wearing heels = the child being a slut or being sexually promiscuous.

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MerryChristmasfromQV · 03/12/2006 21:00

Agree Edam.

Have to say though, when I was at junior school - i remember there being lots of 'fancying' going on at one time or another.

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aliceband · 03/12/2006 21:04

when i was at primary school, it wasnt fancying, it was love!

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tigermoth · 03/12/2006 21:09

The concept of 'fancying' is rife at our primary school and seems quite harmless, though it makes me wince a bit inside when I hear the terminology. Would wince outwardly at 'hot and sexy' - hope it was picked up from a song lyric. Sadly a lot of songs that you hear at children's party discos have 'adult' lyrics.

I think the link you are making between what the boy says and how the girl is dressed may be wrong. She may well be dressed in inappropraite high heels, but who is to say her parents or the child herself is doing it to look 'hot and sexy'. I think you cannot assume she is dressed to look hot and sexy, but you can sound off about her wearing high heels AFAIK as I think think this is silly and unhealhty for growing feet.

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DumbledoresGirl · 03/12/2006 21:14

I too am that school allows a child to wear boots. The words hot and sexy are also repellant in the mouth of a primary school child.


But I am afraid "fancying" has been going on for decades at least. I had a boyfriend all the way through primary school, we were "in love" and even played kiss chase and went into the classroom and under the table (in Year 5) to kiss.

And I did not grow into a hot and sexy teenager. My next proper relationship wasn't until I met dh at 25.

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7swansaswimmingup · 03/12/2006 21:22

i dont think its vile for a year 5 boy to fancy a girl, my ds had "girlfriends" from reception and when he had a party at home with year 5/6 invited i wouldnt like to repeat the sexist stuff coming out of their mouths.

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7swansaswimmingup · 03/12/2006 21:22

thats meant to be sexy stuff not sexist

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