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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I know I shouldn't post

28 replies

tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:29

So ds is 18 months old. I think he is normally nightmarish, but my friend tonight has informed me that his poor(?) behaviour is down to me not setting boundaries.

This person doesn't even have children, I don't know why I am even entertaining the viewpoint.

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Carmenere · 01/12/2006 22:32

As we all know just because you don't actually have any children of your own doesn't mean you can't be a parenting guru

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hugeheadofhair · 01/12/2006 22:32

It's like my mum. She always finds something to point out that I am not doing right/could do better. It doesn't help you at all, even if you would agree. grrrr

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coppertop · 01/12/2006 22:32

Is the friend likely to have any children at some point in the future? If so, revenge will be yours.

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tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:33

Carmenere, am utterly confused by your reference

You're quite right though - I was just so shocked.

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MrsSpoon · 01/12/2006 22:34

LOL, I just love it when people with no children of their own tell me how to bring up my kids, especially when (in the case of someone I know) they profess to have great qualifications in childcare as they were 8 when their little brother was born.

Don't entertain it!

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Blu · 01/12/2006 22:35

His 'poor' behaviour is because he is 18 months old and if he took note of boundaries that frustrated everything he was trying to do he would give up at the first attempt at everything and would not have learned to walk, talk, feed himself with a spoon, etc etc etc.
They are programmed to keep going whatever boundaries are put in their way!!

Silly damn friend!

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tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:36

Thank you also for comments - this is a bloke. Am trying to feel better!

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hugeheadofhair · 01/12/2006 22:36

So I get angry with my mum, point out all the things that I do do, explain why I don't do other things (as if my imperfections are actually a considered choice) and try to be a better mum the next day.

Not giving her any credit of course. She was pissing me off.

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tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:37

Oh - thank you all again. I know it's all bollocks but I still fall for it - MY BAD. Thank you so much for reminding me ds is just a normal toddler!

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hugeheadofhair · 01/12/2006 22:38

Blu you hit the nail on the head

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mummy2ashton · 01/12/2006 22:39

my sister constantly does this. i wouldnt leave her incharge of a dead goldfish so i dont know why i let her comments on my parenting upset me!

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NYcicles · 01/12/2006 22:39

tribpot - read the bold note from MNHQ surrounded by red dots at the bottom of this page. It may clear up Carmenere's reference

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tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:40

Ha - indeed. This is a person I can't leave in charge of a work project without supervision, what the eff is my issue!?!

I so thank Mumsnet.

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HuwEdwards · 01/12/2006 22:42

oh blimey, what will your knowledgable 'friend' say when your undoubtedly gorgeous DS reaches the argumentative-to-the point-of-very-nearly-having-her-mugshot-on-freebay (oops, dis I say she, did I perhaps mean my DD2...?)

yup.

ignore

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tribpot · 01/12/2006 22:44

Ho ho HuwEdwards! Cannot imagine what you mean, I fear you must be a worse parent than me (And thank you so much for cheering me up - sorry for being rubbish)

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Skribble · 01/12/2006 22:48

Big pinch of salt required with all advice.

I sat and listened to a woman at work weekend away telling me I should let my son go to the park and play out by himself, fight his own battles etc.

She then got a phone call from her daughter, who is heavily pregnant in doing her housework, saying that her son had taken all the money out the bank and went off to get drunk then brought allsorts of people back to the womans house to get drunk some more and try on all her clothes.

, I didn't listen to any more advice from her after that .

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hugeheadofhair · 01/12/2006 22:54

Skribble, rofl!
That served her quite right, didn't it! Try on on her clothes, whoohahaha!

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Skribble · 01/12/2006 23:04

They had her shoes on too, I had visons of a hoard of teenagers dressing up like toddlers and looking at them selves in the mirror .

Yeh I am sure my son will be developmentaly deprived if he can't hang out and drink cheap cider at the park with his pals.

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hugeheadofhair · 01/12/2006 23:09

Well, you could always offer him your wardrobe,couldn't you

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realjolly · 02/12/2006 10:12

Oh those friends are just the "greatest" aren't they....
I had a friend like that, she is a lot younger then me aswell, and when I met her, well, I culdn't quite take her serious, and she thought she knew it all....and me I our other mutual friend were obviously rubbish parents, and she knew it all, because she helped out a sister with her child....no amount of pointing out that that wasn't quite the same would change her view!
Well, she did have a child, and I am pretty sure that one fo teh reasons why she only has the one IS that she found parenthood rather difficult, and not the doddle she thought it would be!

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realjolly · 02/12/2006 10:16

Oh, also have a childless sister who felt she had the right to critizise my parenting style...

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Pixel · 02/12/2006 23:22

Oh me too. Apparently when I want to stop my severely autistic son from doing something I should tell him "No" and if I'm not 'firm' with him now "what will he be like when he's 15?"

If she thinks it's so easy, I wonder why she never volunteers to babysit? .

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Skribble · 03/12/2006 20:43

Haven't you been told they just need a good smack!

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tribpot · 03/12/2006 20:58

Actually - having discussed this at length off-line - this bloke comes from quite a violent family background, and I do think his criticism may stem from my failure to beat ds black and blue for the crime of pressing buttons on the DVD player.

I actually can't imagine ever touching ds in violence, even though I remember my mum administering a very occasional smack on the bum. It never hurt, obviously, it was more of a token gesture. However, that is by the by.

Unfortunately I work with this person, so will have to see him tomorrow. But I feel empowered to tell him to go to hell.

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twinkletinselpud · 04/12/2006 13:20

hi tp did you tell him where to go?
fwiw, a colleague where i work (who, incidentally, is in very early 20s, still at m+d, no children) wheni mentioned that dd was having night terrors, turned round and said that toodlers don't have dreams at all! i just looked at him and said now you tell me that * when you have a screaming toodler at 3am!