DD is 6 weeks: no sleep, no routine, no sanity: HELP!

[MrsTittleMouse]

DD is now 6 weeks old and is exclusively BF. The good news is that she is gaining loads of weight, is really active and alert, and is definitely making good progress (started following me around the room with her eyes etc).
The bad news is that she seems to need very little sleep, but lots of feeds. She has a Moses basket to sleep in, which goes on our bed at night, but she hates it and is really reluctant to sleep in it. We've given up trying to get her to sleep in it during the day. She seems to hate the fact that she can't look out and see what's going on, so we put her on a mat on the floor instead. She still doesn't sleep much there either, but she's obviously much happier. She can be yawning and yawning away, but we can see her fighting sleep. So in the day I spend all my time feeding and entertaining and struggle to get washed dressed and fed. This would be OK, but she's not really sleeping much at nights either. She wakes often and feeds loads. She also gets quite upset and "fights" the feed, but when I take her off and wind her, she roots for the nipple again, so she's obviously hungry. And in the meanwhile it isn't doing my nipples much good to have her struggle around with a good latch. In the middle of the night she will go back to sleep in her basket eventually. By about 6 o'clock it's morning for her, so she won't go back to sleep at all.
Last night, she kept me up so much that I would have happily signed the adoption papers! Luckily, lovely DH took her downstairs for an hour or so at 7am (after a good long feed) and let me sleep. She wasn't happy though, and cried a good deal.
She's always be fed and cuddled on demand. Is she getting old enough to wrap us round her little finger now? Is she old enough for a routine? Are there any good books that anyone would recommend?
Thank you and sorry this is so long!

[hana]

poor you!
I don't believe that at 6 weeks old she is old enough to wrap you around her fingers and she really ish't old enough for a routine, they fall into their own eventually
as for books - depends on what you want really!
she wants to be with you , you're her mummy and she takes a lot of comfort at being near you

if it helps I have dd3 (10 weeks) who sounds a lot like your little one - she didn't sleep for more than 10 minutes yesterday fron 10 am until after midnight............but is having a super nap now, we're into neary 4 hours now...

so I guess I'm saying just go with it for now. take her out in pram for walks, that's good for getting them to sleep, maybe wear a sling. but I wouldn't go in for a routine just yet

[moondog]

Tittle,babies this young have no comprehension of manipulating grown people.They only know that they need love and food.It is really sad that you even think like that.


It is very very very early days.
When I had my first baby,for the first few months I couldn't envisage ever having a normal life back again.
However it does come-eventually.

Your baby will find her own rhythym within the household.

The constant breastfeeding in those early days is trying but is soooo worth it,not just for the myriad health benefits for both of you but for the sheer convenience of it.You will be able to whip her off wherever you want at a moment's notice with just a spare nappy in your bag.

Try and be a bit 'zen'.Enjoy this time of your life-the being in pyjameas all day,watching weird tv at 4:00 am,undergoing what seems to be the equivalent of a safari to get a few basics in.

It will all come together.

[bakedpotato]

You must be knackered. Everyone's right, this bit doesn't go on forever, but oh dear I do remember how the days seem to last for weeks. (And the nights... well, let's not go there.)
Are you swaddling? That helped my two a lot. Nice firm swaddle so they can't shock themselves awake etc once they've actually gone to sleep. Makes them feel more secure.
Also, if she's getting overtired, try putting her down for a nap somewhere quiet and if possible dark (or taking her out in the buggy) about an hour and 45 mins after she last woke up. Don't leave it much longer, or she'll be too tired to settle easily.
Babies can sleep a lot at this stage if the circs are right. And as someone who hated the newborn bit with a passion, this was (for me) a huge point in their favour.
Don't get hung up on her loathing of the moses basket. Just as she's not old enough to manipulate you, she's not old enough to prefer the floor mat to the moses basket (IMHO, naturally), which is probably more convenient for you. Keep trying.

[Daisymoo]

Agree with the others, she's too young to deliberately manipulate you, but it's still really hard when you're not getting much sleep!

My eldest was like this - hardly slept at all, needed constant entertainment and cried a lot of the time. The first 8 weeks were hell. What really helped for me was to watch him like a hawk for signs of tiredness and as soon as he looked tired at all (he never yawned, just got more wriggly and grumpy) which was usually about 1 1/4 hours after waking at this age. I would immediately take him upstairs and try and settle him by feeding, rocking etc which stopped him getting overtired and he would then sleep better. Overtiredness is a vicious circle IME.

Have you thought about actually bringing her in bed with you at night? Once I worked out how I was going to sleep with a baby in the bed (arranged bedding so it was safe, lying with my arm round him etc) it made life so much easier as I didn't even wake up to feed him and he settled straight back to sleep with no fussing.

Hang in there!

[Rookiemum]

Lots of good advice for you here.

Just to add my tuppence worth, you said she doesn't like her moses basket, if it were me I would give up on it and try a cot instead. If you haven't got one that fits in the room perhaps you could get a cheap one from Ikea. I swear the moment we moved our DS into his cot bed he slept a lot better.

Oh and do you use a gro bag for sleeping, if not could be worth trying.

[poppiesmum]

Even though dd is now 10 months old, I can still remember the complete exhaustion of the first few months. Hang on in there - your little one is not trying to wrap you round her little finger - she just wants food and cuddles! She will find her routine, the sleeps will last longer, and you'll find her natural 'bedtime' will gradually move forward to something more acceptable than 1am!

There's loads of great advice here so don't want to repeat anything, just to say to do your best to be relaxed around her, make the most of your cuddles with her, and when she does sleep, make sure you unplug the phone and go to bed too!!

Have you tried a white noise cd? The constant drone of a hoover or fan in the background seemed to help my dd settle rather than complete peace and quiet.

[3andnomore]

Awww, I know it can be very difficult in the early month with a new Baby, especially in a society as ours that sort of believes in strict routines and has very unbabyfriendly expectations of the lil ones!
As for Bf it probably will start becoming easier now, it usually takes a good 6 weeks and possibly a few weeks longer then that, to establish a good supply and demand and for Babys to start going inbetween feeds for longer! Do you feed from one breast at the time or do you switch breasts?
As for routine, hm...not great on those, however, I do think it helps to have a bit of rythm in the day, i.e. wake up time in the morning etc...should be roughly the same, and if you do bath your Baby each night, then do that at the same, time....maybe you could ask your HV about Babymassage classes in your area, as that really can help settling a Baby!
Have you considered co-sleeping? Your lil one might sleep better in your bed (there are safety gidelines for this...pretty sure you can find those on the Unicef Baby friendly website)
Also, have you got a Sling, maybe one you can feed in, like a Ringsling or Pouch or Wrap...some Babys just need to be closer to their mum then others!
OH, and some Baby's like to be wrapped up in a blanket, as some Baby's get a bit confused/upset with those long things dangling about and just hitting them (their own arms/hands, lol)....!
Your Baby is definately to young to manipulate you....it's a ridiculous concept really, because to manipulate your Baby would need to be able to think much more grown up!
But, it's best not to forget that your Baby was inseperable for many month whilest you were pg with her, and suddenly people seem to expect that she should be happy to be apart form you, whereas she hasn't even realised that she isn't a "grown on" part of you yet, for her she is not a seperate person yet. And the best way to achieve "independence" eventually, is to give your child the security that she needs, and that means that, where humanly possible, you have to listen to her cues and satisfy her basic needs for comfort, etc...!
Sorry, such a rambly long post and might not what you wanted to hear!

[Swizzler]

DS is now 7.5 weeks and it's only in the last week or so that's he's been sleeping a bit better at night - youre' due a growth spurt about now as well which will skew things. DS likes looking around and the best thing we bought was a bouncy/rocking chair. He spends most of the day in this, napping (it reclines) or having a good nose. May be worth a try.

[NannyL]

any one know why my message was deleted?

was it cause it mentioned the gina ford name?... to answer the question in the post...
even tho i also mentioned tracy hogg and baby whisperer?

[Sakura]

My parenting style is the same as yours and my baby is 9 weeks now. The difference between 6 weeks and 9 weeks is phenomenal. Think of the difference between week 3 and week 6!!!
There are so many variables at this age that I wouldnt bother trying to get the baby into a routine. I mean, it all depends on how their digestion is that day and what youve eaten (they say coffee, tea, chocolate and dairy products affect baby, and I eat all of these). Then it depends on if the baby is having a growth spurt (needs to eat more). I think it also depends on the weather- on warmer days the baby needs to drink more frequently!
But honestly, at 9 weeks, I can feel the baby has moved up a few notches and she feels older
She seems to be slipping into her own routine.
This week Ive tried taking her out for some fresh air in her sling. They say that helps. Or if its miserable, even walk around a department store or something. It might tire her out more. They also say if your baby gets good naps in the day, shell sleep better at night. Mine can only seem to sleep deeply in the sling (maybe the uphill slant).
Also, I think EVERY baby gets moody in the evening, so Im starting to organize my evening jobs earlier. I start cooking dinner around 3:30 now instead of 5:30, because then if she gets moody, I can deal with it without stressing about getting the dinner done in time. <br /> A warm bath in the evening (from 5-7) will make your baby sleepy and is the only real routine my baby has got. Then give him/her a nice feed and change into night clothes. The Baby Whisperer has lots of good advice about babies, but I think her routine is for formula fed babies (I just dont feel it would work with an exclusive breastfed baby). I got the No Cry SLeep Solution too, and again lots of good general advice, but nothing that could help me establish a routine.
In my case, I donT have a real routine or eat at the same time every day, so I canT really expect my baby to.

[Sakura]

Oh yes, sorry to repeat everyone else but swaddling is a godsend.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Hurray!
We must have had the magic "mumsnet" effect, as she has now settled into what we think of as a routine. She has a bath at 9pm, then feeds for as long as she likes (usually over an hour), then when she's really sleepy we put her in the Moses basket and she sleeps for 2 to 3 hours.
It was a genuine question as to when she's going to be able to wrap us around her little finger. She's so cute that I think that we're going to be very easily wrapped!

[MummyPossum]

Message withdrawn

[MummyPossum]

Message withdrawn

[3andnomore]

lol @ Mummy Possum ...glad you found a packet of bikkies whilest searching for the book and that it made you so happy...funny how lil things can make our day like that, eh....must be parenthood that does that, lol...I am sure our brainwiring changes when we are pg, lol!

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi NannyL,
Sorry we had to delete your post. Despite the fact that it was broadly positive we are in the somewhat surreal situation that to be consistent we had to delete it. Please feel free to post again about the Baby Whisperer if you'd like.
Best,
MNHQ