My 12 year old son is ill such a lot - low pain threshold, attention seeking, serious health problem, or just bad luck?

[tigermoth]

I would really appriciate people's views on this, because it is worrying me a lot.

My 12 year old son has always been prone to illnesses. When he is not ill, he is quite sporty and active - a very keen cricket player and loves to play football in school lunchtimes.

Since a baby he has suffered from ear infections. He has has grommets since he was around 7 years old. Around 9 years old he started getting bad bouts of tonsilitus and sinus problems (all linked to his ear problems).

In year 6 at primary he had tonsilitus about 3 or 4 times having to miss school a lot, usually just before or during times of stress. He was ill for the school play, 11+ and SATS exams.

He had his tonsils and adenoids removed a year ago, but still has grommets. He still gets the odd bout of ear ache and has sinus problems, and these tend to come on when he is under stress ie recently he was singing in a play at his youth drama group and a few days before the performance he developed a bad sore throat, cold and sinus problems.

Right now he has mumps (even though he had his MMR jab) and has been off school for nearly 2 weeks.

As well as these diagnosed illnesses, he says he has lots of pain in his knee joints and this seems to be getting worse. The doctor thought it might be a sports injury caused by all the cricket he plays, but even when he is resting for weeks and the pain goes, an hour or so's walking will bring it back. ds says it is now too painful for him to play football in lunchtimes at school and believe me, he would not be saying this unless he was in real pain!
But then again, there is nothing visible about this so I am having to go on ds's word. After 5 or 6 visits to the doctor about ds's knees last year, I have asked if ds can see a consultant at the hospital and we have an appointment next week.

And then there's just the general aches and pains. All this term nearly every morning ds says he is unwell, that he feels sick - stomach ache, knees hurt etc. I am really conscious that he can't keep missing lessons especially now he is in seniour school so tend to be sceptical about these mystery illnesses, send ds off to school then feel guilty.

Ds says he is happy at school and is not being bullied and I have no reason to suspect anything. However since ds started the school 4 terms ago, I have had dozens of phone calls at work from ds on his mobile about being sick or from the staff in the school sick room where ds has gone. When I collect him, the pain often mysteriously disappears and ds will beg to go out to play football a few hours later. I have got much less responsive to calls from ds and I think the staff in the sick room tend to send ds back to class.

I do feel ds does have some genuine health problems - the knee problem especially is making me worried as I just don't know what it can be. If anyone has thoughts there, please tell me.

I also feel ds does cry wolf sometimes as he likes the attention, and has got used to being sick and off school. He is not very driven in lessons as it is, so has no desire to be top of the class. I don't know if I am being too hard hearted in making him go to school or whether I should turn more of a deaf ear to his cries on school mornings.

It just seems ds has so many health issues - more and more the older he gets. They are beginning to dominate his life. I keep worring how they will resolve themselves and what I can do to help.

[noddyholder]

I would take him to the gp and ask for some basic blood tests.Some of the same bacteria which can cause ear and throat problems can cause inflammatory responses in the body which have flu and arthritis type symptoms.There is no harm in being sure If they come back negative he will be reassured and so will you.HTH xx

[tigermoth]

he's had them already, because I wondered if he might have glandular fever - as you say, the knee pain might be linked. The GP said all his blood tests were normal.

[tigermoth]

I am beginning to wonder if the GP is right, tbh, as we have been to see him so many times (on average once very 6 weeks for the last two years) and my son's health is getting worse, not better. This is why I have pushed to get ds referred to the hospital about his mysterious knee pain.

[CAMisole]

When I read your post Tigermoth I was going to suggest the same as Noddyholder but I see you've already gone down that route.
My dd1 had exactly the same symptoms that you describe with the frequently recurring tonsilitis and knee pains from about the age of 9 onwards. When I took her to the doctor he gave her antibiotics every time and also did the blood tests for any kind of rheumatic or other kind of auto-immune disease. Nothing was ever found and she didn't have her tonsils out. She did also contract mumps (although no MMR).
I too remember having tonsilitis on an almost monthly basis starting around puberty until I left school and had/still have occasional knee pain. My father also had this. For us there is definitely a family connection.
Dd2 who is now 9 reports knee pain very occasionally and has very infrequent sore throats/colds but these are the only things she suffers from so in our case these appear to be our family "weakspots".
I don't know what the cause(s) are but I personally don't think our climate helps, I truly believe that if we lived in a warmer/drier climate we wouldn't get these type of things.

[WideWebWitch]

I have no advice tigermoth but am sorry to hear this, it must be very worrying.

[tigermoth]

CAMisole, that's really interesting. From what you've said, it looks like the knee pain could be linked to the tonsilituls. Your family must be experts on this now.

Did your dd1's health improve? I just wonder what to expect in the next few years with ds1 - will it get worse before it gets better? I just worry about his education as well as it won't be that long before GCSEs are looming.

Last week I phoned ds's teacher and said I'd help ds do any catch up work if the school sent us some. The teacher was going to give me some, but hasn't got back to me about it. Ds1 has an academic review day on Monday, so we will see his teacher then. I am a bit worried about how this will go. On Tuesday, ds goes back to school, but he's still complaining of knee pains.

[CAMisole]

Tigermoth, yes we all grew out of it in terms of frequency as young adults, but none of us took/were allowed by parents much time off school with it. We just went to school while taking the antibiotics or occasional anti-inflammatories.

[noddyholder]

I would still pursue the rheumatyology route tbh.Be forceful and demand the tests If they have been done already ask for more.I was plagued with throat and ear problems as a child and it all came to a head in my late teens as an auto immune condition which affected my kidneys.My consultants said it could have been treated as a child but doctors never did any more than give me antbiotics.Keep hassling them for a hospital referral If they rule that out you may have to go down the road that there is something bothering him at school although that does sound unlikely I really feel for him A few doctors/family said to me as a child There is always something wrong with you !!turnes out there was

[CAMisole]

That's a cautionary tale Noddyholder

[saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Tiger - your son sounds a lot like me at that age. I had loads of tonsilitis and ear problems. At that time they preferred not to remove tonsils but things got so bad that I was eventually due to have them out. I was around 16 at the time and bottled out - things have improved.

But what stands out from your post is the connection with the knee pain. I had lots of investigations for my knee pain - included tests at rheumatology. Every time I went to the docs with my knee pain he said my throat was inflamed too - although I often wasn't aware of it. I have quite a high pain threshold. There is a link between Strep and an arthritis type illness. In fact a few years ago I had a bad bout of tonsilitis followed by a type of reactive arthritis which put me in bed for a
fortnight. It's a similar thing that causes irritable hip in little ones I think.

I agree that you should ask for some tests for him - you can have a blood test that measures inflammation I think (?)

[noddyholder]

Saggar you are right there is a test for that.When the body produces anti bodies to the sore throat or ear infection in some people the antibodies are over produced and they then attack other things in the body and not always bad things hence painful joints etc This is treatable with medication if caught early Please don't leave it i know this sounds worrying but I do have experience of this xxx

[mountaingirl]

Have you thought about taking him to a homeopath? It sounds as if his immune system is very run down. When my 12yo ds1 was small he had constant bouts of ear infections, sore throats etc, saw a fantastic GP homeopath and he hasn't suffered again. Ds1 also suffers from aching knees, worse after sport (he does a lot) and a friend recommended RexoRubia a homeopathic supplement to take. It says it is for growth fatigue, various types of mineral loss particularly during sport practice. Not sure if it worked but he doesn't moan on so much now. Also bought a knee wrap called Goode Knee Wrap as his Gp said he had Osgoode Schlatter Disease. He puts that on every evening too. There is of course the possibility that he needs lots of love and reassurance, as much as being at school and being sporty is fun, being at home with you and getting individual attention from you at a time when he feels very low physically is needed to. Good luck.

[tigermoth]

I am so glad I asked these questions here as it has given me some more insights into what could be happening.

I am getting very little help off our GP. He just keeps giving ds more and more antibiotics and pain relief. In fact the locum at the surgery did prescribe ds some anti inflammation medicine usually given to women suffering from endometriosis. He told us to come back in a month - very emphatic that he needed to keep an eye on ds.

But the chemist who took the prescription refused to prescribe it, queried it with our regular GP and from what I can gather there was quite a lot of fuss at the surgery. The upshot was that ds was not allowed to have this medicine and was given painkillers again. All this has lessened my faith in the surgery.

I am just thankful that in a couple of weeks time we have two appointments at the hospital - one a routine check up at the ear, nose and throat clinic and a few days later, we're seeing a paediatric consultant about ds's knees. Now I will really push for more tests and for the possiblity of the link between ENT and knees being fully investigated.

I will print off this thread, but any specific questions I should ask, please tell me. This situation has already gone on for 2 years and we are no further to getting a proper cure or diagnosis.

Noddyholder, that's certainly a cautionary tale. And as it happens, ds's grandmother has a kidney problem - she has had a non functioning kidney for years and had just had it removed, so I am hoping kidney weakness is not hereditory.

[fizzbuzz]

Try him on echinaccea (spelling!). It is meant to boost immune sytem. Also talk to your son's Head of Year. I work in a school, and you do tend to get the same kids going to the sick room time and time again. When it becomes really frequent the Head of Year usually gets involved.
I wouldn't dream of saying your dd is not ill, but sometimes frequent visits to medical room can be cries for help of some sort.
Also I was always ill when younger, and still am. (the files at my doctors are embarassingly thick) Hope this helps

[noddyholder]

I wouldn't give him echinacea until you have had his immunity checked.Pains in joints etc are due to an overactive immune system not the reverse.If he was just falling ill all the time it would be worth a try but not with the painful knees.

[mountaingirl]

just to say I'd go down the conventional route also with your son, but as it doesn't look as though it has been overly sucessful or enlightening then I'd also follow the advice/treatment of a homeopath, but one that is also a trained GP

[3littlefrogs]

Absolutely second noddyholder - don't give echinacea until he has had the rheumatology tests and had his immune system checked. If he has an autoimmune condition, echinacea will make things worse. Also agree - tonsillitis can cause a condition that affects the joints. It sounds as if you have one of those GPs who is not v. helpful. Can you change?? I would also explore with his teacher if there is anything going on at school that is increasing his stress. Stress alone can severely affect the immune system, causing autoimmune illness. Keep pushing, don't be fobbed off.

[tigermoth]

Many thanks for the messages. Ds is back at school now. It was academic review day for the year 8s so I went in to see his form teacher and was able to discuss ds's illness issues with him.

As ds and I were walking into school ds said out of the blue "I do like my school".

IME if you are off sick for 2 weeks, it's natural to feel apprehensive about returning so I was really please ds seemed to positive about going back. I asked ds if he meant it and he said he did.

His teachers talked about ds's lack of punctuality to and from lessons so I was able to tell them that he physically cannot walk fast when he is carrying his book bag as it really does strain his knee joints. They didn't know this. I know ds is generally a bit disorganised at school, and this is something he can and should prevent but at least there's a partial mitigating factor.

Thanks to this thread, I was able to explain to the teachers that ds's painful knee joints are not a figment of his imagination and desire to get off cross country runnning, and may have a real link to his ear and throad problems.

Next step is the hospital, and I really will push for more tests, especially ones for an overactive immune system.

I am really incredibly thankful for all the messages on this thread - thank you all for giving up your time on Sunday morning For me it has been one of the most useful threads I have ever started on mumsnet. I now have a plan of action and feel confident about pressing for more help.

[JanH]

Hi, tigermoth - sorry to hear DS has been so rough but lovely to read what he said going back to school!

Mountaingirl mentioned Osgood-Schlatters and I wondered if it might be that too. DD2 had it for a bit at around 13 (I think, can't remember now). It came and went for a bit but then stopped. Does the description match his symptoms? Does ibuprofen help with the pain at all?

[Fauve]

Hi Tigermoth, I'm glad to see that the advice you got on here helped. I can't contribute much, except to sympathise. My ds, 12, has also been on and off sick for a year, and it's a real worry - he is being investigated for coeliac disease (gluten allergy) which his father has, but it seems a long, tortuous process. I often have the dilemma as to whether to make him go into school or not, and also that question: is it just something he's trying to avoid at school? However, I feel it's really important not just to dismiss aches and pains as 'just stress' or 'just attention-seeking' - because it could be something real and physical. Also there's the 'growing pains/adolescence' line...At one point last year, he was missing a day a week at school! I find his frequent, low-level (mostly) pain really gut-wrenching to live with, too, since I don't seem to be able to do anything to make it better in the immediate term - although in fact we have pressed ahead and are seeing a consultant on Thursday to do some more tests. Sorry, a bit rambling I know, but every sympathy, and hope you get it sorted out.

[Loshad]

JanH I thought he might have osgood schlatters too, very common at age 12 in boys. Fortunately it is self limiting and will resolve over time

[tigermoth]

Fauve, hope the visit to the consultant has helped if only to make things clearer. I can see you are going through the same sort of uncertaintly as me. Am I being too cruel or too kind - many is the morning when I cannot decide!

I have found that ds's teachers do not seem too concerned that he has missed lessons - they haven't talked to me about it and it has been me who has raise this issue with them. However, I keep remembering how I have read time and time again on mumsnet that come GCSEs the children who do not reach their potential are those that have missed a lot of school.

Leaving academic stuff aside, I want ds to be able to keep to plans he makes for sport and drama, so he doesn't let down his team or fellow actors and can enjoy his interests fully - and of course, most importantlyk, not to go through life being in pain.

Thanks Janh (as ever) for the link. Glad you are using your old name again as I lose track of people.

I have read the linked text and will show it to ds1 tomorrow. He has had his kneeds examined by doctors several times and none of them have mentioned Osgood Schlatters, and according to the link, it is quite easy to diagnose.... however, ds has very UN bony knees, quite well padded with really tiny kneecaps so any extra bone growth or swelling might be well hidden. I will definitely ask about the possiblity of Osgood Schlatters when he sees his knee consultant at the hospital.

Will keep you posted!

[tigermoth]

update: ds went to the hospital twice - once for ear, nose throat check up and once for his painful knees. Dh took him both times but did ask the questions we had agreed on, based on this thread.

Not much progress, I'm afraid. The ENT consultant said ds's hearing is fine and just to perservere with the pain - take medicine for sinus problems, no magic cure. Dh asked about the possibility of the knee pain being linked to the ENT problems, due to immune system problems. The consultant said that was very far fetched as was the possiblity of Osgood Schlatters.

When the paedriatric consultant examined ds's knees a few days later, he was emphatic that the paim was simply caused by the way ds is growing. Again no link to ENT problems or Osgoode Schlatters. He said he can play as much sport as he likes, just stopping when his knees hurt too much, and the best thing to do is to take pain killers.

Unfortunatly ds1 hates swallowing tablets even though he is old enough to take paracemol and sinus tablets. He won't even take them crushed up in ice cream! When he takes 6+ liquid calpol type medicines, they are really not that strong for the degree of pain he has. I don't think children's medicines give him enough pain relief any more. I have asked the chemist for adult strength liquid paracetemol or ibuprufen, but none seems to exist. The adult dosage recommended on the calpol bottles does not make ds's pain go away. I don't think it's that stron as when I have tried adult dosages of calpol to get rid of my headaches, it has not worked well.

I have really told ds he MUST find a way to take tablets, crushed up, as he simply cannot keep missing school.

I am not happy with the outcome of the hospital appointments, but also feel ds is not doing himself any favours by refusing to take stronger pain killing medicine.

His interim school report reflected the fact that he is being held back by missing school so much this term. I so much hope next term we can sort things out. At least ds has the medical go ahead to play sports again, so he can go to indoor cricket net practice in January.

[FestiveFrex]

TM, I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating someone else's suggestion here.

Your OP regarding the ear infections and grommets rang bells with me. Have you considered cranial osteopathy? I've no experience of it for ear problems myself but it is how I first heard of CO. A friend was talking about it and how, instead of going down the route of grommets for her daughter's recurring ear problems, she tried CO. It was so successful that she mentioned it to friends and it ended up with about half of her dd's class disappearing every so often as they all went for their CO appointments.

It is non-invasive and cannot make the situation any worse, so might be worth a stab.

[FestiveFrex]

Another suggestion - re the pain killer problem. Have you tried taking the liquid out of the liquid capsules, such as Nurofen, etc.? I think the capsule itself is just some form of gelatine and the painkiller is the liquid inside. Just a thought.