How "criminal" would it be for me to be on holiday on dd's first birthday?

[MrsFogi]

I've been looking at the dates for my return to work and trying to work out when dh and I could go skiing (he really needs a holiday as he's been snowed under at work and hasn't had a holiday for about 1.5 years) and the only week that is feasible (because of my return date and when it is low season i.e. when we can afford it) would be the week when dd is 1! I am really torn as part of me thinks this is an occasion we should not miss etc etc and the other part of me thinks that dd will not notice anyway and dh could do with a break etc etc. Any views?

[PrettyCandles]

Would you be taking dd with you?

[MrsFogi]

No, that's the thing, we wouldn't take dd with us (as I'd prefer to leave her with my mother than in some creche all day).

[NomDePlume]

Not criminal but I really wouldn't go on holiday without my child and miss their birthday.

[hamstermunker]

I wouldn't.

[foxinsocks]

she won't really know it's her birthday and you could always do a proper birthday (and pretend it was on a different day) when you got back

It would be my guilt I would worry about!

[Frizbe]

I wouldn't over her 1st birthday, especially when she looks back at the pictures and figures you weren't there. Any other time is fine, but not over birthdays.

[poptot]

no wouldn't do it, you can go skiing anytime your daughter only has one first birthday, could you have along weekend away instead.

[Greensleeves]

I can't imagine missing my child's first birthday

Sorry, obviously it isn't criminal and it's up to you, but I couldn't even consider it.

[PrettyCandles]

I agree with NdP. 1st bdays are really for the family, as the LO doesn't care. Although she mgiht care when she's older. Why not have a family do for her when you return, making sure to take lots of photos for the album, so that there's a record of her bday party. AFter all, we rarely have the party on the actual day o f the birthday.

[DetentionGrrrl]

When you look back, and think about their 1st birthday, will you feel ok with being elsewhere?

Not a loaded question, just a thought.

What about a weekend away somewhere in the UK? There are lovely pubs / hotels for a (possibly 'dirty') weekend without it being their birthday?

[NomDePlume]

Business trips etc, stuff you cannot get out of is one thing, but actively planning to be on holiday without her on her birthday is quite another.

Although of course, she is only a year old and is unlikely to give 2 hoots whether you are there on her birthday or not. So if you are going to go on holiday on a birthday, a 'baby' birthday is prob the best time to do it.

[pesme]

what pictures? i have never looked at pictures of my first birthday, never mind done a head count. if you really wanted you could have a party when you come back. if you are happy leaving her for a week then go for it. it is just a date.

[fennel]

I would hold the birthday a different day, say a week before, when you are there. we have done this with Christmas and birthdays, shifted birthdays to weekends so we can all be off together for them, etc. then you have all the photos of you there with them. And they'll never know.

[melpomene]

Does it have to be a skiing holiday? Couldn't you consider some other sort of holiday where you could take dd1 with you and all enjoy some time together?

[lucy5]

I wouldn't, I couldn't imagine missing it.

[SherlockLGJ]

She wont know any different, but I would. I couldn't do it.

[LIZS]

Wouldn't feel right to me but might to you . Could you not do a long weekend instead ?

[PrincessPeaHead]

Well I have to admit that on our first child's first birthday BOTH DH and I were abroad on business. He in south africa, me in amsterdam.

We just moved it to a couple of days later. She didn't know or care - and by moving it we have a photo of the cake with a single candle on it etc which is what counts after all!

Skiing sounds fab

[LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump]

i wouldnt go on holiday on any of my lo's first but everyone is different.

[HappyMumof2]

Message withdrawn

[PrincessPeaHead]

PS having read the whole thread I feel I must assure you that I haven't felt any guilt about it from that day to this.
But I've never been a very "birthday-ish" person anyway.

I reckon it is the only birthday you CAN miss!

[Greensleeves]

Reading some of the other posts, I can see that simply moving it and celebrating it on a different day would make no difference to the child. Personally I still couldn't do it though - but it's not as black and white as I thought when I first read the OP.

[HappyMumof2]

Message withdrawn

[foxinsocks]

yes, I must admit that if it was the only week you could do it (to fit in with work etc.), I would go for it - esp if you are going back to work because things will be so hectic once that happens (I imagine!).

[foxinsocks]

but she would have the pictures

she'd never know if it had been taken a week later or whatever