How would you/DP react...

[Ilovemyboy]

if one of your children turned out to be gay?

My SIL's brother has just come out to their family. His mum is being kind of cool about it but his dad has shown to be really uncomfortable with it and has gone all quiet with everybody. Her brother still lives at home with his parents too so it is quite difficult.

SIL and her mum have said that they have known since he was a small child that he had shown characteristics of being 'gay' which is understandable...it doesn't just happen overnight.

Anyway, I know this is a controversial subject and I know in this day and age everyone should be okay with this but the case highlighted above shows that they are not so I would like to hear people's opinions and experiences of how they have dealt with this issue.

For the record, I couldn't care less about my son's sexual orientation and I think DP would be okay about it too.

[hunkermunker]

Fecking glad I didn't have a mad DIL to worry about in the future!

[Freckle]

I think that, when a man comes out to his parents, it is generally the father who finds it hard to come to terms with it. Something to do with wanting your child to be like you and, when they are gay and you are not, they can't be.

All the gay men I have known had difficult relationships with their dads. Mothers' instincts normally tell them fairly early on that something is different, but men aren't wired that way and don't pick up on the signals so it comes as a shock to them.

[Ilovemyboy]

[ilovecaboose]

nah you could have a mad son in law instead

Would not be bothered at all, as long as I still got to have gcs - through them or another sibling (have only one ds at mo).

[Ilovemyboy]

That grin was at hunkmunker btw.

[3andnomore]

I think we would be supportive and positive even thogh, we personally, couldn't understand it...but we would love our child/children no matter what!

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

What's to understand? If you're gay, you're gay.. it can't be changed, only surpressed which is potentially damaging to the person and those around them.

I just want my kids to be healthy/happy and that's honestly all that matters, maybe because the former is never going to happen for all of them.

[whizzbangbang]

It wouldn't be a problem for either of us, we have gay friends and dh doesn't have a homophobic bone in his body.

[foxinsocks]

wouldn't bother either of us

also wouldn't bother us if they didn't have children (which does seem to bother some people)

the only thing that slightly concerns us is that some of our gay friends went through dreadful times coming to terms with who they were - I would hope that if either of ours turn out to be gay that they don't have to go through that

[Quootiepie]

Id be totally fine, so would DH. I wouldnt even mind him bringing back a partner, DH just said he'd feel abit odd, but on the whole, wouldnt mind

[3andnomore]

I meant undrestand in...it's not what we fancy

[3andnomore]

dh has some gsaay family mr,brts anmd I used to work with and for a lot of gay people

[3andnomore]

argh one handed typing, lol!
"dh has some gsaay family mr,brts anmd I used to work with and for a lot of gay people "
what I meant to say:
dh has some gay family (membes) and I used to work with and for a lot of gay people......."
So, my comment was not down to being homophobic, but that it just isn't something we considered ourselfs for ourselfs!

[maltatheterrible]

I think it can be difficult, my brother came out 3 years ago aged 21 - but has been a complete pain abaout it.
The family, Dad included, just went "Oh, OK". Unfortunatelt my bruv has never been that well behaved and if he hurts someones feelings, or forgets a birthday and doesn't apologise - if we then dare to remonstrate he flings his hands in the air and starts with the whole "this is because I'm gay, isn't it?!"
No - it's because you're being out of line, but last time he shrieked this I was tempted to say Calm Down Daffyd