5 year old out of control

[Thaigal]

My 5 year old son is driving me mad, he has always been a handful but he is getting worse and nothing I do or say seems to get to him. He's rude to people, calls people (especially me) names such as "idiot", he won't do as he's told and he delibrately goes out to start trouble. A few days ago for instance we were coming home from school and he shouted to a large group of boys (who are known to us as trouble causers) "oi come over here, I want a fight right now" and these kinds of comments come from him all the time.

We have just been walking home with a friend from school and he was persistantly trying to annoy her 7 year old daughter, callng her names (fatty etc) and taking the mick out of her. He is cheeky to teachers and family members, even strangers and after a fight at school he got told to stand against the wall and he pulled his trousers down and "mooned" the whole playground from the wall.

He is so disrespectful I don't know how I keep my temper with him, I will tell him to do something and he will shout "no I won't, shut your gob" and walk off, he is persistantly trying to annoy and irritate people, especially his 7 year old brother.

He is easily led and if he see's someone doing something he knows is wrong he will instantly join in too, whether I am around or not. The latest example of this was at a leisure centre where my eldest was doing taekwondo, my 5 year old started playing with a group of boys and I found him pulling his trousers down (they all were) and showing themselves to the swimming lesson children. A few months ago at this same leisure centre he spat at a member of staff when she asked him to stop climbing on the railings.

I am worried he will end up out of control, I don't want him to be one of these teens that nobody wants around them but I can see him getting that way. His father no longer lives with us but is as much use as a tub of lard anyway so there's no point in talking to him about it.

Please help.

[flack]

Boys at that age can be very impulsive. Is he getting enough attention (quality time) from you at home?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Yeah, my first impulse is the same as flack's - it all sounds like attention-seeking behaviour. Is he getting enough good attention?

Also, is he getting enough exercise?

How long ago did his father leave? Could that be a factor?

I think a lot of this is normal 5-year-old behaviour, at least, I see my 5-year-old in it, but it does sound a bit extreme.

[ludaloo]

I agree with NQC...my 5 year old can be rude sometimes...his latest is "I want that..I said!!!"
I ignore him as he didn't say please...then he gets a huff on and strops around the place...
I think it is a difficult age anyway as they are learning independance and freedom of speech!!?
Does he go to a nursery or toddler group...try some things to get him socialising...and worn out!! It does sound like attention seeking too..lots of positive praise might help?

[threebob]

Is he acting like his dad? Is/was he abusive to you, did he put people down etc.