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Parenting

Is anyone here one of three children?

73 replies

crayon · 31/10/2006 18:49

I was a bit horrified to read the replies lower down to the post about whether it is a good idea to have three children. A few people said they were one of three and that they felt one child was defintely left out,

Does anyone have any experience of being one of three? What was it like?

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oooggs · 31/10/2006 18:51

Please don't write anything to put me off!!!!!!!

DS is nearly 3 and now expecting twins, another child was planned but not expecting to have 3 altogether!!!

Excited now, but can't do 4.

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MadameMorticiaMills · 31/10/2006 18:51

I haven't read the thread, nor am I one of three, but is there a particular child who gets left out? Is it the middle child?

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Piffle · 31/10/2006 18:53

Yes I am the eldest
I had the highest expectation placed on me, my middle brother (17 mths younger) was the gimme gimme go getter type, did things to please mum.
I was the only girl so was always daddys girl - I think that's why mum was hard on me
youngest brother was 7 yrs behind us, so the baby, adored and coddled (and rightly so he is divine even now he has hit 30)
Middle boy was def golden boy, my youngest bro and I both are aware of that BUT ironically he and I enjoy a closer relationship with mum than "golden boy" who has shafted mum many times over.
I have ds 12 from previous relationship, dd aged 4 with dp and will have 3rd child in March.
it is not typical family of three more like 1 plus 2.
I am aware of favouritism and will try hard to love each child for themeselves

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WelshBoris · 31/10/2006 18:55

I am

My brothers are 16 and 15 now, theyre very close as there is only 14 months between them

I'm 24 so was 7 when my brother was born.

I didnt feel left out at all, and I dont think either of them do either

We were,and still are, treated equally in terms of love and monetary value

I love having 2 little brothers, except now they are both bigger than me!

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DumbledoresGirl · 31/10/2006 18:55

I am one of three and was definitely a bit on my own as my sister and brother were close in age but quite a bit older than me (5 and 4 years). But we shared fun as well and are reasonably close now. I know I was a bit on my own, but it didn't bother me. Nevertheless, I have gone on to have 4 children so perhaps being a bit alone left its mark on me. It wouldn't have bothered me having just 3 children though.

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crayon · 31/10/2006 18:56

Oooggs, I am trying not to frighten myself, not put anyone off! I am sitting here cuddling DS3 !

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lulumama · 31/10/2006 18:59

i think it is up to the parent to include all the siblings and try and encourage a close family...but you can;t force siblings to play and be close.....

and i wouldn;t let someone elses experience stop me having more children if that felt right for us

i am one of 3..twin sister & a brother....


never got on with my twin for years..now we are as close as could be.........

family dynamics are not just predicated on the number of kids you have! IMHO!

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Tinker · 31/10/2006 18:59

I am. Youngest and only girl so was picked on and teased by ganging up brothers. Eldest brother very highly strung, very pissed off at arrival of brother so parents pussy-footed around him, never seemed to be criticised. However, 2nd brother = my mum's favourite and I was my dad's favourite. So, guess we all felt left out at some pint

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Gem13 · 31/10/2006 18:59

I'm one of 3 but my siblings are 11 and 9 years older than me (same parents) so yes, I was left out. They had both left home by the time I was 9 and a lot of my memories are related to stresses over exams, driving tests (both failed 3 times each!), etc. I don't think we had much family time together really but that was the age gap rather than being 3.

DH is one of 3 boys (3 under 5) and he has said one did get left out - usually him as the other 2 were very sporty.

I'm expecting my third at Christmas and haven't ruled out a 4th to balance things out. DS and DD are very close (18 months apart) and I don't know how this one (nearly 3 years younger) will fit in.

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liath · 31/10/2006 19:00

I'm the eldest of three sisters.

Down sides were my parents stereotyping us - I was the "responsible one", middle sister labelled attention seeking and youngest sister was the "baby". Also we often ganged up two against one as kids.

But we got on well a lot of the time, I enjoyed it and I don't think that I "suffered" by being one of three. I don't think there's an ideal family size, anyway - a lot depends on your personalities and whether you happen to get on with your parents/siblings or not.

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Tinker · 31/10/2006 19:01

Like piffle, 2nd child = golden child. We were close, now don't speak.

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BlackMagicMiaou · 31/10/2006 19:05

Piffle, I'm similar to you in so many ways! Eldest of three, two younger brothers, older brother the go-getter golden boy, younger brother spoiled rotten as a kid, I had loads of responsibility put on me.

I didn't like being one of three, but I'm prepared to believe that it was as much to do with our personalities, age gaps (almost the same as Piffle too) and parental attitudes (pigeonholing us).

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oooggs · 31/10/2006 19:17

crayon - how old is ds3?

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tribpot · 31/10/2006 19:22

I'm sort of one of three - oldest of my dad's children (me and my bro with my mum, then my half-sis with my step-mum) but also one of five (my step-dad's kids plus me and my bro) - yes it is very confusing.

On the 'three' side, it is entirely 2+1 but that's because my dad has always massively favoured my half-sister since he remarried, so I wouldn't say that was a normal 3-kid scenario. (My half-sis claims that I am his favourite, but having been at his for Xmas when she has had lots of pressies under the tree and we got nothing, I am happy to dispute this).

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colditz · 31/10/2006 19:22

I was, and I was the oldest by 5 years, and we were referred to as 'Colditz and the kids'

if I was being melodramatic, I would say they took my childhood away by not being one of the children.... but on the plus side I got a lot more freedom than they did.

my brother (second child) is a brat, nd my sister was completely ignored by our dad until he moved in with his girlfriend.

but our family is weird

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maretta · 31/10/2006 19:26

I was oldest of three girls, only 4 yrs between me and youngest.
I'd say some days one of us may have been left out but the next day it would be someone else. I think it would depend on the personality of your children. I wouldn't worry about it.

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beckybraAAARGHstraps · 31/10/2006 19:28

I'm the eldest of three. Love having a brother and a sister. Would have liked three, but am too old and decrepit for another baby.

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NikkiCyprus · 31/10/2006 19:34

I have three (8,3 and 7 months) and I am constantly aware of the 'magic 20 minutes' that I once read about. As long as you can give each child your undivided attention for at least 20 minutes each day, not checking homework or driving in the car or anything like that, just being together, then you can get away with a lot more chaotic running around like a headless chicken.

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SoupDragon · 31/10/2006 19:35

I'm one of three and none of us were left out.

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treacletart · 31/10/2006 19:41

I'm the middle only girl. One brother 3 years older, the other brother less than 12 months younger. I was definitely left out as a child, but I think this had much more to do with being the only girl and being crap at sport. However, I'm much closer to both of my brothers as an adult. Particularly my youngest who is a SAHD.

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SCARErenity · 31/10/2006 19:43

Like I said on the other thread, a lot of it's got to do with personality, age difference etc, rather than just because there are three of you.

I'm the eldest of 3, 4.5 years between me and my DSis and then only 2.5 years between her and my brother. We all got on really well when we were young, but when I hit the teenage years all the little resentments against my sister became huge in my eyes and our relationship disintegrated really. Once she left home and went to uni we got closer again, and now I see her more often than I see Mum. I've always had a good, but vaguely distant relationship with my brother, but that's just because there's over 7 years between us.

TBH, I think me and my sisters relationship was improved by my brother being around. Torturing, sorry playing with him was something that bought us together despite the age difference and complete opposite personalities (me - shy, dark, bookworm, tall and self conscious, sis- vivacious, blonde and curly, stageschool type adored by all....)

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LadyOfTheFlowers · 31/10/2006 19:47

i have two younger brothers and found it fine, although we did tease the youngest a bit.
now, i am 23 and db's are 21 and 16.
we all get on like a house on fire, especially my bros- they still live together at mums.

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ProfYaffle · 31/10/2006 19:47

Just asked dh, he is the youngest of 3 boys. There's about 18 months between each one. He says him and his oldest brother got on best so middle brother might have been a bit left out but that's down to personalities not parental favouritism.

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Bozza · 31/10/2006 19:49

I am the oldest of 3 girls. There is only 3 1/2 years between all of us. As children I always had to be the sensible one, the last one to choose - be it which sweet, which dress etc. My next sister was a bit of a daddy's girl and my youngest sister was the baby so automatically with Mum which sort of left me out on a limb sometimes. OTOH because of the way things fell with birthdays my sister (17 months younger) was in the next school year whereas my other sister (2y 2m younger than her) was another two years below. So in terms of activities and stuff my sister and I were able to do a lot together that the youngest one wasn't on age grounds. My sister and I went inter-railing together, but my other sister was still at school.

However my two younger sisters shared a bedroom - on and off right until their 20s which has made them closer. And I think as adults they are probably closer with each other than me.

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happypiglet · 31/10/2006 19:50

I am one of three. I am the eldest and bro 1 is 17m younger than me and bro 2 9 years younger. Can't remember being left out etc. Think my parents did an excellent job BUT if you speak to the middle bro he has a huge chip on his shoulder about not being good enough and not being loved enough etc... But he is 35 now and should have got over it!!! Me and bro 1 were best friends and played together all the time and we remained that way until he decided to blame his childhood for eveything!! But we are still friends...Youngest bro was the best thing to happen in my life at the time. I adored him and still do. In fact I did a lot of the childcare (my choice) although no night duties!!! Xmases etc were always great fun.
I have 2 DS at present and we are trying for a 3rd (will then have 3 under 4) its just what I am used to.

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