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'MUM it's not fair. ALL my friends get to go trick or treating.'

84 replies

Spidermama · 31/10/2006 13:50

So said my dd to me last night as she wiped away the tears. So dh is busy making vampire collars and digging out fangs for this evening.

We are meeting friends and their kids in a pub which has special games laid on for this kids this evening but it's not enough.

Other parents, who disapprove of Trick or treating, are coming under similar pressure. The kids appear to be leading a revolution and forcing this cultural change.

Will you be going trick or treating?
What are the rules? Who can you call on?

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 13:53

We don't I wish we could but we don't know many people where we live DD wants to got to her pals house but they are spread out all over the village. We are having a party at MIL's house.

We used to go out, we lived in a culde sac and went round ll the houses in groups and had to perform at each hose and treats and games werelaid on. Parents stayed in to receive guests and we all looked after the little ones as we went round together. Loved it, wish we could do similar but as we live on the main road it wouldn't work here.

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DumbledoresGirl · 31/10/2006 13:57

No, my children are not going trick or treating. I don't agree with it.

However, I have succumbed to Halloween. I have bought them a pumpkin which they have carved into a scary face. I have baked bat shaped biscuits and I have offered them the chance to watch a scary DVD dh bought. They don't seem interested in the film, so I will probably let them watch the scary Simpsons shows they always show o Halloween, while the pumpkin glows in a corner and they eat bat biscuits.

That is as far as I will go. Though I have to say, if my children lived in a close knit community where they knew lots of other children who were all trick or treating, I would probably let them go out and enjoy the fun of running around in the dark, and let them share the bat biscuits with their friends. That would be enough IMO.

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Freckle · 31/10/2006 13:57

We don't do it and I get a lot of pressure at this time of year. I don't believe in teaching children that they can demand something for nothing and threaten a "trick" if they don't. Teenagers seem to take this as carte blanche to perform all sorts of antisocial acts.

There are quite a lot of elderly people round here who would probably be scared witless by some of the masks being used.

I don't mind adopting other countries' traditions, but it needs to be done properly. In the US, there is a set time (i.e. between 6pm and 8pm), so everyone knows when it will end, people can opt out without any problem, and the lighted pumpkin in the window lets any t&t'ers know at which house they will be welcome. Here it's just a disorganised free for all and I have to say I hate it.

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TwigTwoolett · 31/10/2006 13:59

we're going Trick or Treating for the first time .. DS is 5.8 (year 1)

we're only going to friends' houses .. there will be absolutely NO knocking on strangers doors

we are doing it in groups

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MarsLady · 31/10/2006 13:59

Don't do it and don't allow the kids to. They don't bother with the pressure cos they no that my no is no! Also, whenever they say that other people's mothers let them do something I always reply... well if I were their they wouldn't!

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mumfor1standfinaltime · 31/10/2006 14:00

Cant stand trick or treating! Hate the way my door bell keeps going off when ds is in bed and I can't figure out how to disconnnect it as it is electric!
Don't get me started on fireworks....

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 14:00

Don't kow about other parts of the coutry but here and where I used to live it is guising not trick or treating, the kids here never threaten or dish out tricks. some are a bit crap dressed in bin bags and ask for money.

Our traditions come more from the "penny for the guy"

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gigglinggoblin · 31/10/2006 14:01

not everyone hates trick or treaters. just take her to the houses that are decorated. i dont mind them, and i have 2 childless friends who share a house who have decorated the entire front of their house and have been out buying treats specially. i think they would be very disappointed if no one went round!

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lilibet · 31/10/2006 14:01

My family don't celebrate Halloween at all. the lucky thing is that there is always something alternative organised in the church hall so their mates will be going to that as well so they never feel like they are missing out.

In our house it's trick or treating aka blackmailing or begging!!

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JoolsToo · 31/10/2006 14:01

Well done Marsy! - I approve

good way to do it if you must is do as DG is doing or Twig.

I really don't like the knocking on strangers doors thing.

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PandaBear · 31/10/2006 14:02

We just go to family members - and only a handful at that!

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Spidermama · 31/10/2006 14:02

I hate it too but it seems to be taking hold with a vengeance - no doubt because of global media etc.
I like thge idea that on All Hallows Eve the dead can meet the living for a short time. I love the way the Mexicans do their day of the dead stuff, but I feel that the spooky business is a bit misleading.

I want the event to have some sort of meaning so I like to remember all my family and friends who have died. God it sounds so maudlin, but actually I find it quite positive and powerful.

How sorry do you feel for my kids now?

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 14:05

We never wnet to strangers houses or demanded money, you were expected to perform songs and jokes and to have made an effort to dress up.

I wish we did live somewhere where we could do it as it was great fun.

Trick or treating is totally different. We will be at MIL's and she usually gets a few guisers neighbours kids she knows.

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jabberthefriendlyghost · 31/10/2006 14:05

I was really surprised last year to find how different trick or treating is in the UK. As Freckle has said it's all over and done with in a couple of hours here and we just love it! My dad has set up a scarecrow out front with a microphone so he can "talk" to the kids as they come up. I just bought 17 pounds of candy and am hoping it's enough. We usually have about 100 or more kids come by since we live in a small, safe, old-fashioned neighborhood. I always dress up to answer the door and have a CD with Halloween songs playing in the background.

I've even changed my schedule at work today to make sure I'm home in plenty of time

There are people around who take their kids to the mall if there's not a good, convenient neighborhood. All of the store owners give out candy and there's usually activities to do, i.e. costumes contests, etc.

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Spidermama · 31/10/2006 14:05

Skribble we used to call it 'guising' in Aberdeen and it involved making a guy, draging him round the houses to try to raise money for a small fireworks display at the end of our road.

Nowadays it seems kids knock on dorrs, cupped hands outstretched, demanding something for nothing.

Hmph! Kids today! In my day ...

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jabberthefriendlyghost · 31/10/2006 14:06

Spidermama, just saw your last post. Most years I get together with a few friends afterwards and we have a little ritual where we go around the circle remembering someone special who has passed on. It's really quite lovely.

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 14:08

I was central Scotland and it was a big event, Mums took time to get coffee table all laid out with goodies.

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KathyDCLXVI · 31/10/2006 14:13

Spidermama, it used to be called 'Penny for the guy' in our area - usually just some kids sitting with a guy on a street corner, rather than going round houses. I think the idea was that they bought fireworks with the money - something else that may have changed since our day.....

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jabberthefriendlyghost · 31/10/2006 14:15

I thought Penny for the Guy was for Guy Fawkes day? Of course, that's just from me reading British mystery novels

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KathyDCLXVI · 31/10/2006 14:16

Yes, it was, sorry.

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BloodyTenaLady · 31/10/2006 14:16

I think it depends on how old the kids are. Anything under 8 I think is acceptable at my door older than that it gets out of the spirit of the event and more about how many sweets they can grab.

my ds5 loves it, i dress up with him and we knock on a few neighbours doors in the village. They all seem to expect it and are there with copious amounts of tooth rotting stuff which will last my ds another 5 years of his life!

Neighbours would be disappointed if they didnt have visitors as they like to see the kids all dressed up.

Dont come to my door trick or treating unless you are dressed up for it though else all you get is a flea in your ear

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MarsLady · 31/10/2006 14:18

mumfor1standfinaltime (surely not... go on just 1 more! lol). To disconnect your electric bell go to the fuse box and flip the switch! I did that in my old place. This house has a bell that's linked to the plug and I'm simply turning the plug off and popping a note on the door.

Apparently my original notice "If you ring this bell or knock and wake my sleeping twins you are dead!" is considered a bit harsh.

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 14:18

Yes penny for the guy is for Guy Fawkes, as it is 5th nov meant they were out at halloween collecting. So the two merged and became guising, where I lived anyway.

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Spidermama · 31/10/2006 14:19

Now without wishing to sound joyless, I don't DO sweets. I deeply disapprove, especially at bedtime. However, I don't want to be the wet blanket shaming my kids by offering home made humous and beetroot crudites.

Is there a middle way?

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Skribble · 31/10/2006 14:20

I suppose money nuts are out of favour now, we used to get loads, I hate nuts so brother got them all. Lots of apples too, humous and beetroot crudites is perhaps taking it a bit too far .

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