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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Advice needed from mums who have 3 kids!

91 replies

Barmymummy · 30/10/2006 18:12

I am happily married to my lovely hubby and am blessed with two beautiful kids, DD (4) & DS (16 mths).
However! I would just LOVE a 3rd child. DH not overly sure about it and all my family & friends think I must be mad to want 3 kids when I have one of each already.
Guess what I am after is advice from mums who have gone from 2 to 3 kids on the pros & cons!
Am I indeed mad wanting another one?

OP posts:

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Gobbledispook · 30/10/2006 18:13

No, not mad. Go for it- it's fabbo.

My boys are 5.7, 4, 2 - fun, fun, fun!

flack · 30/10/2006 19:19

Mmm... I found it really hard work. Just can't keep a proper eye on any of them; very hard to get homework done, to give any of them quality time. I never get lie in because DH can't keep track of them, either.

Makes a bigg diff., I imagine, if you have any free chldcare (helpful grandparent or friends). I don't...

earlysbird · 30/10/2006 20:09

I don't have 3 but am the eldest of 3 and although we get on well now, when we were growing up there always seemed to be one left out, even now that persists as I live 200 miles away from siblings (not that I mind!) but it is a consideration - it can be lonely in a 3's a crowd way.

Glassofslime · 30/10/2006 20:16

my ds - baby no 3 wasn't planned and it goes without saying that I love him to pieces and wouldn't send him back if I could... However without a doubt it is easier with 2. My mum sometimes takes one and when I just have 2 regardless of which one is out of the picture, it is a lot easier. It's more expensive, harder to give them each time, homework etc hard. On the plus they are each others best friends, they entertain each other, they learn about sharing and respecting others feelings. overall I would say it's three times the negative stuff, but also three times the positive stuff.

Glassofslime · 30/10/2006 20:16

my ds - baby no 3 wasn't planned and it goes without saying that I love him to pieces and wouldn't send him back if I could... However without a doubt it is easier with 2. My mum sometimes takes one and when I just have 2 regardless of which one is out of the picture, it is a lot easier. It's more expensive, harder to give them each time, homework etc hard. On the plus they are each others best friends, they entertain each other, they learn about sharing and respecting others feelings. overall I would say it's three times the negative stuff, but also three times the positive stuff.

MrsForgetful · 30/10/2006 20:25

our family felt complete once we had the 3rd child!!!

We now take up 2 tables whenever we go to McD's!

seriously... managing 3 is harder...only 2 eyes 2 ears and 2 hands...but 3 kids! But i do feel lucky to have 3...the 3rd was a 'miracle' baby...my husband agreed to 'one attempt' one night...and i fell pregnant!!!

financially i don't think there was any real difference ...and when he was 1 i even returned to work for 3 yrs...which i never managed when i had 2!

I have never had the urge to have a 4th... i have moments of broodiness...but nothing like the way i was wanting a 3rd....

we are the only 'all boy' family out of our 2 families...going back over 90 yrs!

moljam · 30/10/2006 20:28

i had one of each 1 tear apart then 4 years later i got broody!i now have a dd-6,ds-5 and ds 10 months.i found going from 1-2 harder than 2-3.i would highly recommend it!but then i want another!

stitchthezenmaster · 30/10/2006 20:29

3 is much much much harder than two. there is always one lleft out of the games they are playing. and th e interaction between them caan drive one insane.
however iv ebeen told that 4 is aactually easier than three, and five is also easier as they just have to sort it all out between themselves.
as one of four myself, i think its good to have siblings as you can always havaea friendly ear.
oh, and of course if you do want to go down the private route for education, then three sets of school fees are substantially more than 2!

moaningpaper · 30/10/2006 20:30

"i had one of each 1 tear apart"

Now THERE'S a Freudian slip

nutcracker · 30/10/2006 20:30

Going from 2-3 for me was far far far easier than going from 1-2, not really sue why but I suppose I as just alot more relaxed and ds just slotted right in.

ludaloo · 30/10/2006 20:30

We have three...I am absolutely happy with that amount too....I still felt broody with two...now I am completely satisfied, and I know that they are my lot. No more no less

{{walks off whistling 3 is the magic number}}

TooTickyTheAppleBobber · 30/10/2006 20:32

I did have 3 but now have 4. The thing I have had problems with is ds1 and ds2 (the middle two - they are 2y4m apart)being not close enough to be really close but not enough gap for no rivalry. Four works very well on the whole.

lilibet · 30/10/2006 20:34

I have three children and mine are 17, 13 and 9. I think that closer in age is better as it's difficult to find days out that appeal to both a 15 year old girl and a 7 year old boy (she doesn't come with us any more now she is older but for a few years it was a problem), there wsa always someone with a pulled face.

Go for it tho', I love having three, it feels like a proper 'brood'!

dolally · 30/10/2006 20:40

I've got 3 14, 11 and 9. I have found that the youngest has practically brought herself up!!! She completely potty trained herself once she'd seen what the others did, she just went ahead and copied!! She seems to be far more independant and balanced than the other two... she just sees their mistakes and learns from it.

Having said all that, 3 is a wonderful group, they are great chums and terrible adversaries to each other. It is a handful and you have to make a special effort to give each one some time on their own...

coppertop · 30/10/2006 20:43

Same as Nutty. Going from 2-3 was easier than from 1-2. Dd (7mths) always has at least one brother making her giggle. It also means that ds1 gets more peace without ds2 pestering him all the time.

moljam · 30/10/2006 20:57

thanks morning paper!whoops didnt notice that!

annieapple7 · 30/10/2006 21:25

I have 2 boys, 4 and 2, and am pregnant, due end of January. I always wanted 3, and after 2, still felt really broody. I am sure it will be harder (obviously) and I am a bit concerned about the 3s a crowd thing, but I would never have been content with 2. DH was though and took some convincing to have a third, but seems very sanguine about it now. Although after being quite resistant to the idea of a vasectomy, he is a bit more open about the idea now!
I can't wait, bring on the chaos!

BlackMagicMiaou · 30/10/2006 21:29

I've got three barmy - but I've got a pretty big gap between no. 2 and 3. dd1 and dd2 are 17 months apart; dd2 and ds are 6.5 years apart!

I'm finding it lovely, really easy - it's like having one all over again in some ways as the dds are at school or don't need the dressing/playing help as they did when younger. In fact I'm enjoying it so much that we are ttc another one

Having another after a big gap is, IME, a very different kettle of fish to having a third relatively soon after the first two.

theunknownrebelbang · 30/10/2006 21:35

I found going from 2 to 3 much easier than going from 1 to 2 tbh, although that was probably as much to do with family circumstances than anything else - he HAD to fit in basically, lol.

tigi · 30/10/2006 21:56

I love my 3 boys (10/7/4) The older one prefers the little one. The middle one and the little one are really good friends. The older one interferes with the little ones games, and then leaves them when they are upset! The middle one takes the older ones things....
But they are gorgeous little boys. If I only have 2 of them with me, it is soo quiet, and I really miss him. They will all sit cuddled up to each other watching tv. They are so cuddly, I feel utterly loved.
But, I have to be really careful to give them all a quality piece of me. They do so many after school things now, Beavers , swim, karate, cubs, that I am in and out all the time, which gets exhausting. This is why half term is nice - it all stops. I also sometimes struggle to find time, before bedtime (7), to get homework, reading, spellings etc.
They of course cost a fortune to run! I need to work a 60 hour week really, instead of part time!
I really hope they grow up to stay as close as they are now.

muma3 · 30/10/2006 22:07

i def agree it is much harder with 3 !!!

i dont have much help family etc and i do struggle. i do have to work like a sergent major just to spend time with them . otherwise icould permently be moaning for one or other to do something;tidy room have bath eat dinner etc etc etc. i have 3 girls and they are 9(2 weeks) 5y and 17 months. my ooldest does help out but it is still really hard.

saying that some days are great when things have gone to plan and everyone is happy , fed watered and soundly asleep , i do fell a great sense of acheivement. i did plan no3( only one i did ) and the reason for this is becasue i dont have family i wanted my dd's to have a large family network when older as i never had any db or ds. i know it will pay off when they are older and im a young mum any way (saying that i shouldnt feel this tired surely)

good luck whatever you chose and like anything in life there is pros and cons

loopity · 30/10/2006 22:14

I have three - 7, 5, and 1. As far as the parenting side goes, I found I was so much more relaxed with number 3 and therefore could adapt pretty easily from 2 to 3 lo's about the house, although can't remember last proper night's sleep.

But the practical and financial side can be trickier. We had to change cars as even dh's estate car could not hold 3 car seats in back without major struggle and hauling to do up seatbelts. I also ended up taking career break because childcare fees at day nursery were astronomical for three and finding childminder nearby with 3 vacancies was impossible.

However, I love having 3 so would have to say go for it!

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kittythescarygoblin · 30/10/2006 22:16

The more you have the easier it gets in a perverse sort of way, go for it

tigi · 30/10/2006 22:31

I have to say though, that I do feel special having 3. My work colleagues (no children)think I'm supermum for the amount of things I manage to fit in my day! But it's a normal day for me!They look incredulous when I say I baked a cake for tea as well! It is true that it is easier to go out to work than being at home looking after 3. I'm always at home for hometime though.
It does get easier as they get older though. I think the worst time was when the little ones were 3 and 1..
Also, I think I have 3 times as many friends too, from standing outside 3 classrooms every day and meeting 3 x as many mums!
But no-one wants to babysit 3, and it's too many of them for a sleep over anywhere!

kittythescarygoblin · 30/10/2006 22:34

tigi, I have found that a real problem, the more kids you have the more you are tied down.
I can't bring myself to inflict all of us on friends who haven't got that many kids. They just look shocked, infact they probably are

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