Individual time with each child- 3under 4

[littleraysofsunshine]

My dd will be 4 in two months time, I have a 2y3m dd and a 7mo Ds. I spend almost all my time with all three of them, except for when dd1 is at preschool for three hours mon-fri.. Or if I have a bath, pop to the shops etc. my do works full time but we do our best to spend time as a family at any given time.

I just feel like I want to try and so more one to one with them especially with eldest girl.i want to maybe have a date day when dp can spend time with the little two, then switch. I'm Breastfeeding Ds so a bit limited but just something like the cinema, hot chocolate just us. Invest time in her one to one. And with my second daughter too. Then my boy. But more so the girls as they're older.

How do I do it and be fair? They are very close as we do a lot together. They are always together. So I don't want to make them feel left out but I also want to get time one on one.

It's sometimes easy to forget that they are developmentally different, being 19m apart they're also close. They enjoy the same things but on different levels so how can I get the balance?

Dd1 has a big interest in stories, drawing and learning. Dd too but more so my eldest. How can I get the balance?

[FabulousFudge]

I too think this is very important and your children will benefit greatly from this. Could you get a babysitter for 2 of them whilst you do something with the other one? Grandparent or paid babysitter?

[clara85]

I am in the same situation although only 2 dc 15 months apart at the moment but similar ages to yours ( 3 yr 9 months & 2 years 6 months ), and I am 37 weeks pregnant with no 3 so this is something I think about a lot and my friends with bigger age gaps don't seem to see as such an issue.

Luckily for us I work shifts & weekends to minimise childcare so DH already does alot of things with DC individually before I start work at weekends or before he starts work on the day he starts later, but we do things individually each week too as thankfully my parents will have 1 dc happily at a time ( just not often 2 together! ).

Do you have any family who could have 1 dc for even an hour or two to allow you some time with the others?

When will dc 2 start nursery / dc 1 start school? Is it a private nursery dc1 is in, could you increase the time or look to start dc2 at all? Or are there any groups you could take dc2 to while dc1 in nursery? We use a private nursery to allow flexibility with ds1 nursery funding and also dc2 goes 2 mornings a week.

There is a local men only playgroup on a Sat morning here and DH takes 1 or 2 of the boys to that each week, along with swimming classes and trips to visit family so we both get 121 time and once baby here while I BF he will mostly stay with me but in time as older 2 will be at nursery this will help.

I think planning is key, work out maybe once a week on a sat or sun morning you each go out with 1 of the dc ( does baby / dc2 still nap? )even if its a walk to the shop / park it gives you both 121 time .

From what I have read even setting aside 15 mins of quality time to interact with each child makes a difference :)