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Prolific swearing - what would you have done?

10 replies

LittleLionMansMummy · 18/08/2014 18:20

Firstly, i'm not a prude. I occasionally swear on front of ds. But today in the park I have never heard anything like it. There was a boy who was about the same size as my ds who is 3.9 but I guess he could have been older. He was surrounded by children of varying ages, no parents around except me (it was a campsite). The little boy was saying fuck, fucking and fuck you with every other word. Stuff like "it's not your fucking bike". Some of the other children thought it was funny and so were goading him into doing it all the more. He was very street wise. Anyway, I contemplated speaking to them about their language and then trying to find their parents and telling them. But ultimately I just picked up my ds after only 5 mins and left the park. It wasn't even the swearing that got to me but the age of the little boy and his apparent exposure to violent language. At one point he said "I'm going to get a hammer and crack your head in two". Where does a child so young hear that? Did I do the right thing by walking away, or should I have challenged it? What would you have done? We were really just bystanders, not at all involved. But part of me feels it was my responsibility to have stepped in somehow...

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 18/08/2014 19:48

Not sure what I would have done in the same situation. Hopefully some wise MNer will be along soon Smile

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LEMmingaround · 18/08/2014 19:54

My friends ds is 9 but has for as long as i can remember been prone to shouting the rudest word he knew over and over. Its bloody embarrassing and i have had to take dd out of the situation before when the comments have had sexual content or hints. He is otherwise a nice lad. His mum would havd removed him from park though if he was foi g that.

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QTPie · 18/08/2014 20:27

I would have picked up DS and left, but even sooner: at 3.9 they are little sponges :(. Sadly there probably isn't a lot you can do.

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BoiledPiss · 18/08/2014 20:30

I don't know what. I would have done tbh, apart from remove my children from the situation.

However... The get a hammer thing, that is the sort of thing DS1 would say, not in an agressive way, he just comes out with some really bizarre things, and I can promise you he hasn't heard that from us or anyone I know.

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ThatBloodyWoman · 18/08/2014 20:31

Hopefully its just exposure to bad language.
I know its not nice to hear children swear, but it could just be a stage he's going through and he's employing the swearwords he's heard for best effect in front of the other children.
There's plenty of parents who swear in front of their children at times -perfectly good, loving parents at that.

I think you should just talk to your ds about swearing.

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Lovelydiscusfish · 18/08/2014 20:32

The goading children surrounding him sound like the bigger worry to me. In an ideal world I would have asked/told them to stop (I am a teacher, so used to doing this type of thing), but I guess it might have depended how many and how old - large groups of older children you don't know can be intimidating (and much more so to a four year old boy, I imagine). I hope I would have done something, but it know that is easy to say if you are not there at the time.

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CheerfulYank · 18/08/2014 20:35

I'd have left too. I've told older children off for swearing but a little one might be harder in some ways.

I can't stand children swearing, ugh. I know people say "they're just words" but I don't care. I think it's terrible and I judge the bejeebus out of parents who allow their small children to swear.

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LittleLionMansMummy · 18/08/2014 21:17

I suppose it was worse that all these kids had too much freedom to behave like this and their parents were nowhere to be seen. The older ones I could understand more, but the youngest being given such a free rein.

Lovelydiscus that did occur to me too and at first I considered telling them to lay off. But even when they did, he followed them to start it all off again. Seriously his actions as well as his words were way beyond anything I have ever seen in someone so little. It was more than sticking up for himself. There were probably about 10 children in total and I just wondered how their parents might react to me taking issue
I didn't want to get involved in a fight in front of ds. I just explained to him that we were leaving because I didn't like the words they were using.

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mummyxtwo · 19/08/2014 08:45

I would probably have done the same as you and beat a hasty exit, through not wanting to make a scene in front of my dc's and therefore draw attention to their language even more. I would have wanted to do more but no idea what tbh. Why was a child under 4y completely unsupervised by adults? I guess they might assume he'd be fine with all the older children but he clearly wasn't, given the language he was using. I find the scenario quite worrying as a GP myself and regular involvement with children on the at risk register. Wish I had some more words of wisdom on this situation but it's something I'd have to think about and probably still not come up with a good answer.

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LittleLionMansMummy · 19/08/2014 13:37

Having had some experience of a similar nature, but in policing, I thought the same mummyxtwo. Although no direct experience through work, I am nonetheless aware of safeguarding issues and signs and felt my response was even more inadequate. Although, like you, I am not sure how else I could/ should have responded in the circumstances.

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