Tried and tested reading material

[JFlo]

Hi All. I'm 37+5 and now on mat leave so wanted to get some reading done in advance of little one arriving! Any books that you could recommend to help through the first year that you found valuable? First baby and no young rellies so I'm a total novice! :)

[ZebraZeebra]

You won't need these for a while but I loved Playful Parenting and Positive Discipline as a general jives-with-my-instincts approach.

A Gentle First Year has lots of lovely bonding stuff about bathing with your baby and massage and other really lovely stuff that made me feel all warm and fuzzy when I read it in late pregnancy.

I do wish I'd maybe read more practical how-to for newborns but MN and baby centre and other places had lots of immediate advice as "problems" arose.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I read Babycalming before having DC2 and really wish I read it before having DC1!

[Misty9]

Trees make the best mobiles is a lovely book.

[JFlo]

Thanks! Will be going shopping soon. I've also had The Contented Little Baby Book and the Baby Whisperer recommended. Worth a look?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

It depends if you want to bf! Both are notoriously bfing unfriendly, both are on the kellymom list of books to avoid and neither are evidence based.

Up to you then really

[CultureSucksDownWords]

My tip would be to borrow them from your local library first rather than buy them. That way, if you don't get on with the style of the advice then you haven't wasted your money. The tone and content of parenting books can be vastly different and you may find one thing gels with your way of thinking over another.

Also, babies tend not to behave in any way that is described in baby books! Beware of any book that tries to tell you that "all babies do this...", "all babies need x, y, z ..." etc.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Good advice from Culture. If you go along to your local la Leche league group they usually have sone good books to loan out

[QTPie]

Read everything you can! I read loads whilst pregnant and in the first year, quite a bit in the second.

Yes read Baby Whisperer and "Contented little baby book", but just pick out the bits you like. I did breastfeed (for 11 months) and found this worked with bits from the two books... Don't feel that you should apply any book verbatim, but use which bits suit you and your baby. By 5 weeks I was feeding by schedule (a schedule that followed regular patterns that I had seen in DS's feeds and encouraged), but I fed to sleep and it worked for us. DS dropped to one night feed at 5 weeks and slept through consistently by 12 weeks. I think it was because he was "fed up" during the day and we learnt to resettle him with feeding if he wasn't demanding a feed at night.

All babies are different and what works for one may not work for another. You need to find a compromise which suits all of you: happy baby and happy mummy (an unhappy mummy is unlikely to make a happy baby).

Also look at the "What to Expect..." Books. I had the pregnancy, the "year one" and the "year two" ( or "toddle years") books. All great. I would read a month or two head, but also they work as great reference books.

[QTPie]

That should read "resettle without feeding" (if he didn't want it) at night. We learnt the difference between an "I want to go back to sleep" whinge and grizzle to himself and an "all out demand for food". Trying to settle the former without the breast, but obviously feeding a demand for food.