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Is this normal in a 12 year old girl?

42 replies

hmc · 31/07/2014 20:01

12 year old dd can be pleasant and engaging but is far too often selfish, self-centered, egocentric, ill tempered, scathing and prone to tantrums when thwarted. 10 year old ds by contrast has his moments but is generally a good deal more considerate and reasonable. Am actually wondering if she has some sort of personality disorder....

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PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 31/07/2014 20:02

Sounds normal to me. Hormones turns them into Kevin the Teenager don't they?

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hmc · 31/07/2014 20:05

Sure, but is it really normal to have so little regard for other people's feelings and concerns and to always put yourself first?

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Madcat22 · 31/07/2014 20:11

Too early to think about personality disorder at 12 by about 13 years! Probably just a phase/hormones/influence of peers.

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Lally112 · 31/07/2014 20:14

Amazed you got to 12 before this appeared. Hopefully since mine started this attitude problem earlier it might finish earlier too doubt it but we live in hope.

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hmc · 31/07/2014 20:19

Well I really do hope she grows out of it but it seems to run deeper than just classic teenager behaviour - she seems to have absolutely no empathy or consideration for anyone else. Perhaps that is just normal and a phase?

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ZeroSomeGameThingy · 31/07/2014 20:25

selfish, self-centered, egocentric, ill tempered, scathing and prone to tantrums when thwarted.

Am actually wondering if she has some sort of personality disorder....

Yup.Grin

12 year old boys too. Unfortunately.

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prisonerofallisurvey · 31/07/2014 20:27

I have an 11 year old that fits that description.

< sigh >

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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 31/07/2014 20:27

Yes, completely normal. It's very wearing.

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hmc · 31/07/2014 20:28

Well this is actually quite encouraging - perhaps she might ultimately come out the other side and be a half decent person!

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ClaimedByMe · 31/07/2014 20:29

Sounds like my 11 year old dd, I just smile and nod, smile and nod!

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Letthemtalk · 31/07/2014 20:31

I remember being like that too, thankfully I grew out of it! Totally normal, at that age the whole world (or the only bits of it that matter!) just exists in your wee bubble. One day her bubble will get bigger.

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Ledkr · 31/07/2014 20:34

Mine too. After 3 boys it's a bit of a shock tbh I'm upset by her attitude almost daily. Luckily I have a few friends with older dds who I often call on for reassurance.
I hear the book "the teenage brain" explains it all and they actually have no capacity for empathy for a while.
You have my sympathy.
Mine also has an insatiable appetite largely for junk and can be devious and sneaky to fulfill it.

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NatashaBee · 31/07/2014 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ANLBXX · 31/07/2014 20:35

Mine is the same have posted before as thought she was abnormal but apparently it is part of growing up x

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hmc · 31/07/2014 20:37

Well thank God for mumsnet Smile

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Ledkr · 31/07/2014 20:50

I agree, I'm sitting here reading it out to dh who is equally exasperated by her.
We are on holiday at the moment and so she's even worse everywhere we go she just asks for more and more and more no matter how much she has.
Vile.

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hmc · 31/07/2014 20:54

Snap - we are on holiday too and same scenario!

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 31/07/2014 20:57

I was vile at that age. When DD becomes a preteen karma is going to come back and bite me on my self centred stroppy 12 year old arse.

I am not looking forward to it.

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Ledkr · 31/07/2014 21:28

We go to a market or yesterday a water park and straightaway it's an I've cream (biggest she can get) sulk if I say no, then digs into the picnic getting really stroppy if dh or I so much as have a crisp Hmm

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 31/07/2014 21:30

DM always says teenagers/preteens have to be ghastly or you'd never let them leave the nest!

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hmc · 31/07/2014 22:21

Wise words!

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ZeroSomeGameThingy · 31/07/2014 23:50

Ahem.

Actually teenage brains have evolved to discover a growing hatred of their parents as the teens become sexually mature. Zillions of years ago the ones who liked their parents stayed at home and thus didn't reproduce. So their genes died out. The ones who turned into snarling teen monsters moved out, reproduced and passed on the "hating parents" genes. Without the snarling there would be no human race now.

Kinda sad.

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Solo · 31/07/2014 23:58

...and apparently, they don't improve until they are 19+ Hmm. Four more ish years of it from Ds, just as Dd will be 11 and just starting. Nice!

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AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 01/08/2014 10:14

Shock zero I will tell DM. Will add fuel to her fire. Smile

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GalaxyInMyPants · 01/08/2014 10:24

My 13yo dd is like it sometimes at home but her teachers praise her for her kindness and empathy to others at school. I think teens may be vile towards their parents and nicer to others.

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