music lessons for 4 yr old!?!

[Toowittoowoo]

Okay, so apologies if this is a ridiculous post - I just need a bit of common sense perspective!

DD1 is 4 in September so she will go to school in September 2015 whereas all her friends are going this September, as they are summer babies. I work 2 and a half days a week so she goes to nursery for 3 sessions (1/2 days) a week and my parents take her and DD2 for 1 whole day. My mum however is concerned about what I am going to do with her for the rest of the time. She is particularly concerned that I am not teaching her any music. She is suggesting that I find a music class to send DD1 to or I find a recorder teacher to teach her privately.

I have looked, but there are no music groups on the days that I do not work and I am not willing to start her on recorder lessons yet as she has no interest and will not want to go.

Do you think it is important? Do you think my mum has a point? We do plenty of other things - zoo, museums, castles, art galleries, walking in the woods and looking for leaves and bugs, going to library etc but music is really not my thing and I have no idea where to start. My parents did try to teach me when I was little but despite the endless lessons and practice I am evidently just not musical!

Sorry, I know this is ridiculous but my mum is nagging me about it at least once a week and I am starting to feel like I am letting DD1 down!

[smileyhappymummy]

You are not letting your dd down! You are responding to her needs and wants rather than your mum's, thats got to be a good thing, surely!
Fwiw I think music for a four year old probably involves singing nursery rhymes, listening to stuff they like and letting them make their own music with either rosy, instruments or more likely saucepans and wooden spoons.

[BlueChampagne]

There was an article recently about getting children involved in music as early as possible - I wonder if your Mum read that (mine did!).

At 4 her fingers will be too small for the recorder, and she may struggle with the breathing too. And if she's unenthusiastic, that really puts the tin lid on it!

The easiest music to start with is singing. Our church has a monthly singing group for EYFS/KS1 age-range - might something like that be a possibility? You could ask on MN Local, but it sounds like you're doing plenty already.

Your Mum's going to pay, is she?

[AMumInScotland]

Am I right in guessing that your parents are quite 'into' music, if they tried to teach you it? Your Mum does sound a bit obsessive!

There are groups around for her age group, but they focus on things like singing, and rhythms, and just enjoying a wide range of music. But don't worry if that isn't something you have around, at a time to suit.

FWIW DS started going to a music group at age 6, and is now studying it, so I don't think you're ruining her chances of enjoying music and maybe playing it, by not rushing into making her do it right away.

[Theyaremysunshine]

I think it would be ridiculous to pay for music lessons for any child who has no interest in it, let alone a 4 year old! It's a bit of a bonkers idea IMHO.

[Theherbofdeath]

My DD had recorder and singing lessons when she was 4 for a year, and I helped her with the recorder in between the fortnightly lesson. She actually did well at both recorder and singing, but she is (it has turned out) very musical. She was a bit relucant over the recorder but enjoyed the singing. With more experience now, I would put off learning an instrument until the child is 6, and do a fun singing group for a younger child.

[Clarabell33]

I think I started music lessons when I was 3 or 4 - either way, so young I don't really remember! Apparently I'd seen a violinist on tv or something and thought she was the most beautiful and amazing thing ever. DM is very musical herself so I don't think it seemed too early to her, but we had a piano at home (she taught piano in the evenings) and she would play with me on that when I was tiny so music and instruments were always around, ifyswim. Anyway, whilst I think it is important to start music young as it's similar to languages - often easier to pick up if you start early - I would have thought sometime in her first few years at school is still early enough and by then you might know if she has interest over and above learning the basics. If your mum is really worried, perhaps she could get DD a small basic instrument to play around with? I would personally recommend against anything with no volume control like a recorder though (or indeed a violin, I can't imagine how my family didn't strangle me while I was learning it). Keyboards or anything where they can plug headphones in so you can have peace

[bakingtins]

Why don't you ask your mum to find a group she can take her to on the day she has your DD? My pre-schooler does "3/4 time" which is a weekly music session - they have a theme each half term (usually based on a story) and the group is singing, percussion, acting + roleplay. YR he will be starting "Crotchet Factory" which is music lessons in groups for EYFS+KS1, about 10 children in a group which makes it affordable - they learn singing, percussion, recorder, ukelele, guitar and keyboard over the 3 years. My oldest one has just completed this and is going to have proper guitar lessons at school now, age 7. He's competent on the recorder and can make a pleasant noise on all the others, more importantly he can read music, has been introduced to and had a go at lots of different instruments, and has picked up a lot of music theory without realising. There would have been no point him having formal lessons before now because he would not have wanted to practise - this way it has all been fun and no pressure.
I think in an ideal world all children would have the opportunity to have music lessons, but it's not something that is prioritised or well taught in most primary schools due to lack of funds/time/musically trained staff. Your daughter may not be musically gifted, but you won't know unless she has the opportunity to give it a go.