Groundhog Day?

[badfurday]

I have a lovely 16 week old daughter who I adore and love more than anything. I'm currently half way through my maternity leave but I'm feeling in such a rut.

Life seems to be a constant cycle of play, feed, sleep. I worry my daughter is bored even though she has lots to do. I try and go out to the park or shops everyday but I feel like I'm climbing the walls.

I have some keeping in touch days coming up at work and feel guilty for looking forward to them. I have been to a mother and baby group and hated it tbh.

Does it get better? And ideas what I can do to fill my time?

[soupmaker]

I know what you mean about baby groups but having some adult company whilst caring for babies is really helpful, as long as you choose your friends carefully! Baby massage and local library might be a good start.

[Natale28]

Just wanted to say you're not alone! I feel like this too, like each day is just so similar. Obviously I adore my DS but I can understand hiw you feel about the routine of it all. I went to a few different groups until I found one I liked called Baby Sensory. I didn't like the first few i tried but it's honestly worth trying different ones until you find one you like. I agree with soupmaker - it's helped me to meet people at the group with similar aged babies.

As to other activities, have you been swimming yet? DS loves it.

Also do you get any time to yourself? My MIL has DS for a few hours once a week and it just gives that little bit of 'me time'.

It does get better - DS is not far off 6 months now and is easier to entertain than he was a couple of months ago.

[badfurday]

Thanks for the replies.

We are on a waiting list for baby sensory which starts end of august.

Haven't thought of swimming so will give that a go.

Just feel a bit fed up I suppose. Everyone keeps saying how wonderful it is but all I can think is how bored I am. I even thought about doing an online course in something to keep me from going brain dead.

[Azquilith]

I couldn't wait to get back after six months. Now I can't wait to get home in the evening to see my DS. Have snuck off early today in fact. You are normal.

[Natale28]

I was looking at courses online the other day too! It's a shock to the system going from working FT to being a full time mum!

All completely normal and I think lots of people probably feel an element of this but they don't say anything.

[badfurday]

Phew, thanks. Glad to know I'm not alone, it's almost a taboo to admit newborns are a bit boring

I suspect I will be the same when I go back to work and will want to be with my daughter all the time. I think I'll be a far happier person when I'm back to work though! Just feel like my brain needs some exercise!

[Theherbofdeath]

Your DD is almost certainly not bored. She's a baby - give her a piece of paper to play with and she's happy.
What do you enjoy doing for you? At that age babies are so easy and portable. I remember I used to go for lots of country walks, with baby in the sling, lunches at cafes, visited national trust properties, went away for the weekend somewhere nice, etc.

[badfurday]

I think this is part of the problem.
I don't really have any hobbies.

Before my daughter came along I just worked and did normal stuff with my husband like meals out etc.
I go for walks in the park with her but find it dull. I chat away to her but miss adult conversation. I don't have any friends and am usually happy in my own company, it's just now that I have so much time on my hands that I'm realising all this.

[Theherbofdeath]

I would try to take advantage of any remaining nice weather. Think about what you would like to do / where you woudl like to go. And just go for it, and fit the baby around it. Travel a bit, if your DH doesn't mind too much. I took baby abroad on my own when she was 6 months, and we had a lovely time discovering a new country. Having a baby with you makes you popular, too.
If all else fails, go back to work early!

[smokeandfluff]

You are not alone! I feel like its groundhog day as well sometimes. I'm half looking forward to going back to work, even though the idea of leaving ds makes me very sad.
Definitely give swimming a go. I also have the odd 'day trip' to places I wouldn't have time to go to if I was working.
It gets more exciting as they start doing more, and there is more things to do with them.

[LePetitPont]

I can imagine how you feel - I have a full on, full time job that occupies a lot of my thoughts. Giving this up for 10 months seems very odd (baby due end Sept).

My plans are to get out and about and visit cultural things I wouldn't usually, eg houses, art galleries. Listen to radio 4 a lot, try out a range of baby groups eg music time, baby signing, lots of walks. Make sure I have plans with friends who are on mat leave / work part time once a week.

And try really hard not to check my emails or rush in for kit days!

[LePetitPont]

Ps yes - and you can always go back to work early. I know people who have done this as they were fed up!

[Lovelise]

I feel exactly the same OP! I usually visit my mum & dad a few times a week but they're on holiday at the mo and I'm really feeling it!

No one tells you that looking after a baby can be boring.

[badfurday]

I think I just feel so isolated and alone. I started wondering if I had pnd but I don't think I have.
Going from a mentally busy job to this is so hard. My daughter has her 16 week injections this afternoon and I'm looking forward to it so I can get out.
Before starting maternity leave it seemed like heaven, reality is very different.
I'm going to look at some on line courses this afternoon.

[moomin35]

What was wrong with the baby groups you went to?

[Trooperslane]

I'd definitely try a few more groups - you might just not have found the right ones.

IME people are happy to chat and I'm now in a group of like minded mums - we're not in each other's pockets but it really helps to have someone to have a conversation with and who's kids are the same age/stage as yours.

[Littlef00t]

Is it the getting out the house you're looking forward to or speaking to people? Sometimes I walk into town just to have a mooch. Even if I don't have money for a coffee or Anything I'll go to the library and sit in the children section with baby wriggling on the floor or read her a story.

Also they have story time sessions which are nice and not like baby groups.

[badfurday]

Thanks little. I'll try the library. I'm just so shy when meeting new people which I hate about myself. I'm just worried that baby groups will bore me to tears tbh. Completely outside my comfort zone I guess.

[odyssey2001]

It never really goes away. Our LO is 3.5 and there is still a certain amount of monotony and repetition to daily life.

[Louharris1]

I’m finding the same and my daughter isn’t even three weeks old yet! Surely baby groups just mean your talking about baby stuff which doesn’t make you feel you’ve gotten away from ‘baby stuff’? I think I’m going to join a gym so I can go out and have some me time and leave my other half with her for a couple of hours a week as I don’t have loads of local friends. Even the thought of meeting up with NCT friends and their babies isn’t completely inviting, more crying and nappies and talking about how boring life is! Lol I also love my baby lots but dw I have no problem admitting the newborn is a boring stage!