4mth old 2nd DC, bedtime routine...how????

[DomesticGoddess31]

OK, I don't get it. How do you implement a bedtime routine for your second DC? DS is almost 4 months and I feel like we're still winging it. He's pretty hard work to get to nap in the day, especially nearer the end of the day and as a result his bedtime is all over the place. Some nights he won't go to sleep till 10, some nights he doesn't wake from his 5pm nap till his first night feed?!!?!

I would say on average its around 8pm though, but then how do you put them down without waking dc1? He loves baths but our bathroom is right next to DD's bedroom and she's a light sleeper. He's not interested in books yet.

I've got a lullaby album I've been playing him but its not really having much effect yet. Sometimes he will be fed to sleep but often not. He used to go to sleep consistently by sucking my finger but has started refusing that too. We're finding we're doing something different every night and i just cant seem to get a proper routine going.

Is getting harder to get him to sleep and its taking up to 2 hours. Me and DH are slightly losing our sanity.

Help me wise mnetters!

[Cric]

We are on baby number 1 and it is exactly the same! I think some babies are ready fir a strict routine at an early age and some at 6 months. I have no idea as I am singing it with you but we do our bath etc at about 7:30 and if she is ready to sleep stay up there but if it is clear it isn't going to happen I bring her down. Why don't you do you bedtime routines with the children together and then naturally as your baby is ready for an earlier bed time it will all be set up ready. If your baby isn't ready for bed being him down but have relaxed quiet time until he is ready?? I hope it all works out.... My MIL had the best advice.... You never see an 18 year old being rocked to sleep / dummy / cuddled to bed and the ones who need a cuddle to sleep are often to ones who didn't get them.

[Cric]

Winging it not singing it.... Although that sounds fun!

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

My DC2 fitted into DC1's bedtime routine from somewhere around 4 or 5 months (though I always fed to sleep after saying goodnight to her - he was a great sleeper). DC3 was part of the older 2s bedtime from newborn but wouldn't settle ever at their 7.30 bedtime and I had a choice of staying in his room for 2+ hours or bringibg him down. He has just recently started sleeping through at the age of 3, and was a problem to put to bed til about 2.5.

No magic solution, but the Elizabeth Pantley 'No Cry Sleep Solution' is somewhat useful as it at least addresses the fact a lot of babies are not pfbs! I did find it hard to use to the letter though as it assumes 2 adults doing bedtime when you have more than 1 child, and that both are willing to give up their evenings to sorting out sleep, which didn't fit with my RL.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

DS doesn't have a bedtime routine really. DD has her bath at 6:30ish and depending if DH is home or not, DS will sit in bouncy chair/mat on bathroom floor or stay with DH in living room. DD has story and song and in bed at 7ish.

I then change DS and feed until passed out. This is usually 8pm at earliest now matter what time his last nap was.

Now he's a bit older (5months) I'm thinking of starting bathing them together, dressing him on bathroom floor while DD splashes around and then DH either do DD's story or I try and introduce a bottle of EBM and DH can start feeding DS.

That's the limit of our routine. He sometimes won't nap in the afternoon which drives me mad! He gets grumpy and wants holding which is fine but we are also potty training DD so not always practical!

Good luck with yours

[FinallyGotAnIPhone]

I remember posting something similar when my second DD was a few weeks old and DD 1 was 3.

Can you force this bedtime earlier?

I used to aim to get them both to bed around 7 ish.

I would bath them both together. Use plastic baby seat thing to give you both hands. Prep everything and have ready beforehand. Mat, nappy, babygrow. Take Ds2 out get him ready while dc1 I still in bath. Get dc1 out and ready for bed. Relocate to bedroom and put dd1 in front of tv/ipad while you feed DS. Put DS in bed, look after Dd2.

Easier if there are two of you so you can deal with the baby. I was typically on my own though so it is possible!

Maybe investigate daytime routines / patterns eg Gf if you're struggling with getting a 7pm bedtime?

[DomesticGoddess31]

Thanks both. DD was much easier as she would always fall asleep on her bedtime bottle (she didn't sleep through till she was almost 2 though).

Maybe I just need to muddle through for a bit longer.

[PastaBow]

I do the same as finallygotaniphone. DS has shared DD's bedtime routine from the day he was born.

[burgatroyd]

Dd2 has no routine. She falls asleep when she wants. In evenings its usually on my lap while I'm watching film or reading book. I bought myself a nice armchair for this purpose. When she's def asleep I lay her down on my bed and continue watching film or read book. Then I go to bed where she's already fast asleep.
I know its not for everyone but dd1 sleeps from 7 to 6.30 now, in her own bed, in own room from the age of 3. I used to stress about routines. I now know that they are not essential, imvho. They get there in the end.
Dd1 began to fall asleep at about 7 for bed transfer at about 1 years old though. For Dd2 I think, what's one year?

[DomesticGoddess31]

Ah these posts are making me feel better that we have not managed a set routine yet, thank you! I'm going to chill and wait for his schedule to settle down on its own.

[PastaBow]

DomesticGoddess routines don't matter at all if you are happy with the way you do things but in your post you said you are losing your sanity somewhat. Is that because you are worrying about routine or because you would like a break in the evening?

I couldn't cope without a strong bedtime routine. That's just me though. Fair play to people who are happy and able to be more flexible.

Nearly 5 month old DS adores being in the bath with 2.8 yr old DD, then they have a story together in my bed and I feed DS whilst DD finishes up In The Night Garden. I put DS to bed before coming back for DD and giving her another story and a song in her room.

[DomesticGoddess31]

Hmmm we're getting stressed because we'd like our evenings back really. However if DS just isn't ready for a routine yet then I think we need to just accept for a while and not stress about it. I will start getting him ready for bed with DD though and see what happens.

[DomesticGoddess31]

Oh and we're definitely in the throws of the 4 month regression. I keep finding myself saying "what's wrong with him?!?" when I know perfectly well! I'm going to let that pass a bit before I concern myself too much!

[Misty9]

I think losing my evenings was one of the hardest parts about having my second child. She's now 14 weeks and we're no nearer to a routine. Her brother, 2.10, has a very set bedtime routine and has done since he was 5 months. So i know it'll probably come naturally in a while. We've just started bathing them together which is lovely, but wishful thinking to have her feed to sleep that early in the evening!

I'll have lots of evenings to myself soon enough, I know.