How do you teach a 3.5 year old about personal space?

[onestepbeyond]

Dd1 is 3.5 and is always climbing on us, touching us and cuddling/ kissing/ poking us and dd2 (6 months). This is fine as obviously we are her family however, she is also very tactile to her friends and adults she knows and I'm worried she's going to start annoying her friends and isolating herself.
For example, in swimming lessons today there was a girl of the same age that dd1 knows from nursery. Dd wanted to be constantly right next to her and kept trying to hold her hand and generally pestering the other little girl who ended up glaring at her and wouldn't go near her.
I explained that peopke don't always want to hold hands/ sit next to you but doesn't mean they don't like you etc. but don't know what else to do.
I have terrible social skills and am permanently terrified of making some social faux pas so end up coming across as stand offish. I don't want dds to end up like me but don't want them to be too ott either! Any help very much appreciated.

[onestepbeyond]

Bump

[onestepbeyond]

Final plea !

[onestepbeyond]

Final plea !!"

[LizzieMint]

It sounds very like normal 3.5 year old behaviour to me, and all you should do is what you have already done - keep repeating that people don't always want to hold hands etc etc. My 3 year old is exactly the same, she wants to hold hands with the older children when we're doing the school drop off and I can see the ones who love it and the ones who would rather be anywhere else, so try to remind her that not everyone wants cuddles.
Also really important IMO is that it goes both ways - so if she tells you she doesn't want a cuddle (my LO does this a fair amount), that she's allowed to say no and you don't then give her a cuddle. I find this really hard!!

[Heyho111]

She will learn. Don't worry. At the moment she is not self aware , so other peoples reactions don't effect her as she isn't able to understand the subtle reactions. (No child of that age can - obvious happy sad etc yes but not subtle ones).
As she develops she will become aware of the reactions and change accordingly. As with all development some develop a skill easier than others. But they all get there and it has no reflection on their over all ability.
It's going to be worse for you.
Play pretend games with teddies and dolls which model the correct behaviour. It will take time and the games need to be played repetatively. She will be fine.

[onestepbeyond]

Thank you both for replying. She is so lovely and happy and confident and I don't want to ruin her by not teaching her how to behave in social situations properly.
I like the idea if using her teddies and dolls - it might help me too!

[Toohotforfishandchips]

With my DD I would literally say please give x some space, y does not want a cuddle just now etc She will grow past this stage quite quickly