My little boy is picking on another boy

[Lagoonablue]

Only been a couple of incidents but my 4 yr old DS has been singling out another boy at nursery and has been bullying towards him. This other boy has SN. I am so upset. Nursery did their version of time out and told him it was unacceptable.

I talked to him tonight about it. Trouble is I don't know the boys name as nursery keep it anonymous in these circumstances. DS denying it all of course. In the end just simply told him that acting mean was not nice behaviour and that we would be very cross if it happened again. I sat him down and told him he was in big trouble.

I would like to known what else I can do. I need to really ingrain this as unacceptable. Any ideas?

[scouseontheinside]

I would leave it for now. You've said your piece, so now take a step back. I know it must be very upsetting, but you run the risk of making it a Big Issue if you continue to talk to him about it. At 4 years old, I would say a chat about being kind (as you have done) is appropriate.

Can you get a few books on the subject of "we're all different"? Praise wildly when you see him playing nicely and being kind. If it continues, can you have a reward chart for having a good day at nursery? Speak to the staff at the end of the day, and if he's been kind he can have a sticker. X number of stickers equals a reward.

[MexicanSpringtime]

Don't get too distressed about it. I'm sure as children we have all picked on someone at some point.

Just work on his empathy, as we all should do anyway we our children. Among other things, a lot of story books (and I don't mean the ones with a pointed moral, just the good ones) help children to identify with the one who is left out and suffers and to realise how hard some people's lives are and how important it is to put ourselves in their shoes.

When I was four I stole money out of my mother's purse, because I could. But felt guilty about it for years once I found out that it was wrong.

[Lagoonablue]

Thankyou. Some good ideas.