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Finding DD irritating and it's upsetting me

8 replies

1lov3comp5 · 22/07/2014 09:57

My dd has just turned 6 and DS is 11 weeks old. Overall he's a 'good' baby (hate that term!) as in he sleeps well at night but is terrible at day naps unless he's being held. Anyway, I'm finding dd really irritating this last couple weeks and it's getting me down. She's a great child - funny, independent, smart and helpful but I just find she's taking the brunt of my tiredness/frustration with ds's bad napping and I don't know how to stop it. Has anyone else had this?? Will it pass when I'm feeling a bit less tired?

(Please don't be too brutal, I'm in tears porting this because I feel so bad

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Diryan · 22/07/2014 10:03

I had exactly this! It does pass. DD was 2.7 when DS was born, and she used to irritate me so much. When I was pregnant I worried that the baby would get in the way of me spending time with DD, but am ashamed to say in reality it was the other way round. It gets better once the baby gets older & you're more rested, hang on in there!

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1lov3comp5 · 22/07/2014 10:17

Thanks Diryan, reassuring to know I'm not just a complete bitch of a mother!
I'm really trying to spend one on one time with her the few times I manage to get DS napping so hopefully it'll pass some rather than later.

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Poolbirthx2 · 22/07/2014 21:44

I am in exactly the same position now dd 3.5 and ds 9 weeks, feel awful for saying it and even thinking it, hoping it gets better x

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ataposaurus · 22/07/2014 21:50

Hi, my dd is 5 and baby 3 months (I also have one in between). None of mine have ever napped without being in motion, and so for this one I have a sling and he naps in there while I get on with other stuff - have you tried that? I am finding it brilliant and wish I had got to grips with it for my other two.
It is not as bad now but the first few weeks with new baby were exhausting, and I did take it out on my dd especially, which I feel ashamed of .At one point she said she did not like it when I spoke in my 'angry voice' which made me feel awful. I have deliberately tried to be more lighthearted and less critical and think her behaviour has improved, which may be related. She loves the baby, which helps! Anyway, hope this helps, I am just trying to be more aware of her point of view as a small child and not to expect adult understanding and emotional control from her, which I think was part of the problem.

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1lov3comp5 · 23/07/2014 13:48

Phew! Was beginning to think it was just me! I think part of the problem is that I normally work ft and with dd being on summer hols (9 weeks where I am) I think I'm trying to get used to her being with me all the time as well as dealing with baby..
Ataposauras, I did try the sling but I find both DS and I get far too hot and sweaty with it in this weather but may revisit it for tough days. Until then, I think saying 'this too shall pass' is the way forward!

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spritesoright · 23/07/2014 19:47

I felt this way with DD who was 2.5 when DD2 was born. They are just so big, clumsy and rough at that age and I felt I was always rescuing the baby from DD. Plus trying to accomplish everyday tasks with a screaming newborn is stressful so when DD didn't cooperate I found it so frustrating (of course she didn't cooperate, she wanted the attention).
When I finally managed to get some quality time with DD1 it was fantastic and I realised the one on one time wasn't just for her but for me to remember what a delight she can be when I am not stressed and pulled in two directions.
But yes it definitely gets easier.

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buffythebarbieslayer · 23/07/2014 23:08

I've got a dd 12 weeks and find my older two hugely irritating, they're 8 and 5.

Especially as it's the holidays. I normally love the holidays but I find myself looking forward to school and snuggling with my baby and taking naps together.

think it's normaI, to inwardly favour the baby a bit. As long as you make effort to spend time with older ones, cuddle them and reassure them you love them. It does pass and it does even out

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1lov3comp5 · 23/07/2014 23:51

I am managing to keep some frustration at bay by taking a minute to ask myself if what she is doing/saying is actually that annoying (although when it's asking for bread and butter for the 75th meal in a row, I am close to the edge!!) and letting the rules relax a bit...suppose I just need to take it day by day (or minute by minute if it's not going great!)