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Parenting

8 yr olds attitude at home

2 replies

peppajay · 19/07/2014 22:00

My 8 yr old DD's attitude and backchat is terrible. She has always been an extremely difficult and defiant child with us but everywhere else she is an angel. She is doing fantastic at school academically, emotionally and socially. All her reports and parents eve have been great, she has loads of friends is the life and soul of any party. I hear nothing but great comments about her all the time. So why oh why is she so horrible at home she constantly whinges crys and moans she hates us and her rules she hates being told what to do!!! She has always been difficult and as a will of steel. As a toddler she was really hard work and at times I couldn't cope but after starting school up until she was about 6 she got much, much better, but lately her behavior has become bad again and it all comes down I think to the confines of home and family. She adores school and being around other children, due to her behavior at home I feel I have to keep her busy after school so we are always doing playdates or going to the park and she is so so happy until she walks in that front door unless she has a friend with her and she instantly changes- the things she says and the way she says it is shocking it is like she hates us!!! I don't get much support from my family my husband finds her attitude shocking he just walks away and leaves her to me and her grandparents cant really be arsed with spending time with any of their grandchildren. I am constantly exhausted as my son is on the autistic spectrum however he is far easier to parent than my DD and I have never had a break for more than a few hours. We have tried all sorts of punishments for her attitude but nothing works she always has to have the upper hand and will always throw everything back in our face. She is just so rude and disobedient and she hates us but why we do so much for her. We are at the end of the tether I hate saying it but she makes life at the weekends in the house or garden unbearable!! Any advice on anybody else who has a child like this and their solutions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

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makkahakka · 21/07/2014 00:17

this is v like my 8 yr old dd, going back from being a toddler too. the strategy I use now is to pick her up on it every time but it feels like I am being very negative to her a lot of the time. will be very interested to hear other people's comments. I can't help but think we must be doing something right to raise popular children who are doing well at school but is hard to deal with knowing how unpleasant things can be at home

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Heyho111 · 21/07/2014 07:26

Her behaviour is a reaction probably to the stresses at home. Dh is disengaging from her. There is probably a stress having a child with additional needs. It might be worth having a referral to child and family psychology. They are great and could really help all of you understand and change. Good luck

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