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Parenting

Six year old son playing Halo with his brother - right or wrong?

55 replies

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 19:33

I don't want him to play it, it's rated 16. "D"H is sitting there now with them playing it and telling DS2 he will let him play it when I'm not here, the only reason it is rated 16 is because it is played online (and he's not playing it online so it's ok) and that I'm an idiot.
For context I have called him irresponsible.

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CMOTDibbler · 02/10/2013 19:35

wrong. totally wrong. They are rated for a reason, and its not being online

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 19:37

Thanks. Please keep your opinions coming, I just had to send DS2 upstairs because he wants to sit there watching it. Now I am the baddie.

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defineme · 02/10/2013 19:42

So he's undermining you in front of the kids?
I was under the impression that the certificates were there because of violence etc?
I might let a 13 yr old play a 16, but a 6 yr old?

I'm afraid your dh is an immature twat who's afraid of saying no to his kids and doesn't understand that the important thing is not being your ds's mate, but guiding and protecting them.

Just because it's scifi doesn't mean it doesn't celebrate war and violence.

As the Halo games are lauded for being the most authentic 'first person shooters' does that mean your dh wants your 6 yrold to gain the most realistic view of killing someone that he can get? Nice...

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 20:14

Hi All

DH here. I feel it is important to explain the real circumstances around the playing of the games. We have a number of game for all ages that we bought for the kids and to be totally honest, regardless of the age recommended for the games, a number of them has the same routine. I am sure that those of you who are exposed to the gaming world based on the games your children play, Sonic the Hedge Hog, Skylanders hell even some of the old atari games are basically the idea of your character running around or flying around shooting some form of enemy. I certainly believe that, with proper couching and parenting and having the good connection that i have with my kids, I am able to able to ensure that they are aware that these actions are certainly not how one would behave in the "Real World" by any means.

I would also like to add that i would prefer the kids to play these games with me present so that I can keep the watchful eye.

As far as undermining DW, it is very difficult not to when after the day that I have had which includes, going to the 6 years old school to take part in an exercise with the class, picking both kids up after school every day with a one year old on my hip, making them snacks and helping them with there homework every day whilst running a business only to be told in front of the children in a very aggressive manner that I am, and I quote, " f@cking Sh1t," for not noticing that we were low on Nappies, cleaning the house and so on. This verbal abuse when one for at least an hour. All whilst I was discussing a problem that my older child was having at school and while he was crying and upset.

I think that it is best to look at the whole picture before passing judgement. Under normal circumstance, I would not undermine DW in front of the kids but sadly I feel that, at times, she can be totally in the wrong about a lot and has the tendency to drive one to it.

Before you start throwing stones as requested by DW in order to mount them up so that she can build up her attack further, please think carefully about what content your kids are being exposed to with and without our knowledge. Star wars for example has more violence and aggression then two brothers playing Halo with their father in a world that my kids have skillfully created without help. If anything, I am proud of what they have been able to achieve.

I am sorry to say it but the way children play together is changing. They no longer run around the garden pointing sticks at each other pretending to shoot each other. Well some do but how long will that last.

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Sirzy · 02/10/2013 20:16

Sorry you can try to justify it however you like but letting a 6 year old play a 16 rated game is wrong.

Would you let an 8 year old watch an 18 film?

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 20:21

I think that you have to take the content into account. Are you talking do to violence or sexual content? I would also like to remind you that what happens whilst the boys are playing is totally in there control where a film is not and can be shocking. The answer is obviously no. Did your kids watch Harry Potter?

Can I add that it was only an issue recently whilst the DW was in a bad mood and not an issue before when she herself has played the game.

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Sirzy · 02/10/2013 20:23

Content is taken into account by the experts who give them the ratings.

cupcake78 · 02/10/2013 20:27

Wrong

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 20:29

I went to Tesco and DH hijacked my post. Apologies everyone. Sigh This is what I am dealing with.

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kutee · 02/10/2013 20:42

I think you should look at recent news in America where a child who was below 10 was taken to court and charged because he was playing an underage game and took a hammer, gun and knife with him to school. Obviously to protect him from zombies.

AugustMoon · 02/10/2013 20:46

Seriously Kutee?

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 02/10/2013 20:49

I love Halo but I wouldn't let my six year old watch it. Get a grip August'sDH, it's not suitable and justifying it by the rest of your worldly good deeds doesn't really cut it. Grow up.

fuzzpig · 02/10/2013 20:52

Your DH is wrong.

gretagrape · 03/10/2013 07:56

I think I'd be tackling the shouting and swearing in front of the kids, which is real aggression right there in their living room being played out by the two people who they love and rely on the most, before I worried about the smaller issue of whether they should be playing a 16 rated game.

Seb101 · 03/10/2013 08:38

Agree with gretagrape. Your children witnessing shouting and swearing parents is going to be more damaging than playing a 16 rated game occasionally. Id forget the game and tackle the aggression and conflict going on in your real lives.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 03/10/2013 08:43

It's fine for her to play the game because she's presumably over the rating age.
And no I didn't let my seven year old watch the Harry Potters with the higher ratings. Deathly hallows has some horrible bits and I wouldn't want them seeing that.

Stop trying to justify your bad parenting (ops dh) by accusing us of things we don't necessarily do.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 03/10/2013 09:06

Oh and I'm looking at the question of the ratings. How your wife talks to you (and you her) in front of the children is another matter. One person doing something horrible doesn't make other horrible things ok.

mummyxtwo · 03/10/2013 09:39

I think the two of you need to sit down and work out how you can resolve different attitudes to parenting and conflict not in front of the kids. What both of you seem to be failing to understand is that your arguing and undermining each other and not showing respect for one another is far more damaging to the children in the long run than actually the violent game-playing is.

And I do think that Halo is hugely inappropriate for a 6yo. I love Halo personally, at Uni we used to play it loads and for older kids who really want to play some sort of game like this, at least it has monsters and is clearly not real, as opposed to some of the frighteningly life-like games that are around these days, which I hate. To say that the way children are playing nowadays is changing and we should adapt to that is quite frankly, in my opinion, sacrificing your own standards and morals "because everyone else is doing it". That is not the way I choose to parent, and my children do not watch anything violent or that encourages aggressive behaviour. I appreciate that you are trying to allow these games in an environment where you emphasize that is it just play, but all the same the way children play and the type of tv programs etc that they watch does influence the way they play. Ds1 watched a couple of power ranger episodes when he was 4yo and his play became all about karate moves and attacking monsters. We stopped him watching them and he chooses to play more now with cars and his disney planes toys (he is nearly 5yo). Of course he still sometimes pretends to shoot monsters, as all small boys do, but this isn't the basis of the majority of his play. Kids grow up too fast these days, and if we just say "everyone's doing it so it's fine" then our children will miss out on an innocent childhood - that may sound dramatic but where do you draw the line? If you let a 6yo play video games that are for 16y+ do you lapse standards on dvds too, and tv shows? But even more important, you and your partner need to figure out how and when to discuss matters you disagree on, not in front of the children, unless you want them to grow up learning that it is okay to be rude to and disrespect your partner. Couple that with playing violent video games from a young age - not a great start in life for your kids.

MissBattleaxe · 03/10/2013 09:49

I think that allowing young children to play violent games desensitises them from real life violence. You can tell them that guns are bad til you're blue in the face, but to then say it's OK to play at killing is just sending mixed messages.

MiaowTheCat · 03/10/2013 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kutee · 03/10/2013 12:44

Yes seriously. It was in the paper last week. His father was shocked that he was charged and stated that the gun was unloaded.

fieldfare · 03/10/2013 12:55

Utterly wrong. Ratings are there for a reason.
I do not agree with children playing games or watching films beyond their age.
And yes, my children do run around the garden with sticks, they also dig in the sand, they bounce on the trampoline, they ride their bikes, we go to the park. All while working as a cm with two 1 yr olds in the house, so doing exactly what you're lamenting about.

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kutee · 03/10/2013 13:16

It was in the daily mail. He was 9 and the game was
Mine craft

titchy · 03/10/2013 13:31

Minecraft kutee - that's designed for 9-13 year olds......

AugustMoon · 03/10/2013 13:44

MiaowTheCat I appreciate your comments - to be honest he really just seemed so blind to the fact that it is (in my view blatantly) unsuitable and seemed to think that I was making it up when i said that most responsible parents wouldn't allow it that i wanted to reassure myself if anything. He has a tendency to tell me i'm mad and don't know what I'm talking about so I needed mumsnet for my own peace of mind! I am appalled at how he then took over the post when i was out buying nappies and used trying to justify himself by discrediting me and making me out to be horrible, completley missing the point. I feel relieved that you all seem to have seen through it. Thank god. But yes Miaow you are right - it is obviously an issue aside from the whole gaming problem.

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