How do people cope with a 6 yr old and an 18 month old??? I'm not doing a good job so far and I need HELP.

(26 Posts)
Vow11 Mon 19-Aug-13 20:57:48

Hi.

I have a 6 yr old DS and an 18 month old DD.

My 6 year old on his own is well behaved and pleasant. Throw DD into the mix and it all goes wrong.

DS is currently off school on summer holidays and DP works 10 hours a day so it's all down to me to do.

I am crap at the moment. My main problem is everything DS wants to play with, DD will destroy -not intentionally but just grabbing at it, pulling herself up to DS and standing on him, screaming when she wants a toy.

It all sounds normal and no big deal now I write it down but during the day I feel like my head will explode.

Poor DS wants my attention, wants his toys out and wants to play with me. DD wants all his toys, can not be contained and will basically stomp through any game or activity I set up for him.

Earlier I tried to do painting with DS at the dining table but DD is fairly tall and kept reaching up and whinging for paints. I got out the baby finger paints but she just wanted to eat them hmm and then whinged to get DS's picture and wanted his paintbrush.

It's relentless. I am running out of energy.

I come up with these ideas and I start with enthusiasm but I am just not doing well.

I got DS to read DD a story earlier, DD was grabbing the book trying to turn the page. I know it's normal but DS really is suffering. In the end I just put the TV on for 2 hours and let DS watch that because I actually had no idea what to do with them.

DD on her own, when getting all the attention is OK. DS on his own is OK. So why can I not make it work when we're all together? Why does it always end in tears or me shouting?

We try and get out once a day but even a trip to the park can end with DD in tears when she can't climb up to DS or it's time to leave or a leaf blows in the wrong direction! I also feel like I can't give DS any time or attention when we're out without her kicking off. The are just at such different ages developmentally. How can I incorperate the two? I need ideas for tomorrow please!!!

mawbroon Thu 22-Aug-13 13:12:22

I hear you. There's 4yrs and 4months between my two DSs.

The baby days were easy because ds2 just lived in the sling and we did pretty much whatever we wanted, but I found the stage you are at was really hard.

I tried to organise for ds1 to have friends round and they would play in the bedroom (they share a room) while I amused ds2 elsewhere to keep him out of their hair. DH and I used to take one each at the weekends just to allow a bit of space and one to one time for everyone. I also started making time for 10 mins or so to cuddle up in bed with ds1 and chat before he went to sleep.

And also, I used to allow ds1 to complain to me about ds2 and empathise with how he was feeling. Nothing worse than telling your mum that you hate your sibling and for you mother to say, "oh, don't be daft, you love him, he's just little or whatever". I would also say that one day, ds2 would be big enough to play well with him and that I was certain they would have great fun together, and he always said he was looking forward to that day.

Well, that day has now come. They are now almost 8yo and 3.5yo and sure, they fight sometimes, but there are also some incredible moments of kindness and tolerance on both sides and they have a great deal of fun together.

It was very telling when ds1 went back to school last week and suddenly I noticed that ds2 was hanging round me needing lots more attention than he had been needing over the holidays. Seems that they were amusing each other much more than I had realised.

Hang in there!!

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