Getting my baby to sleep anywhere else but on me or my husband is a nightmare. Any help welcome?

(35 Posts)
cunners1982 Wed 17-Jul-13 17:41:41

My baby is just over 2 weeks old and seems to hate sleeping. Ill breast feed him and he'll dose off on me or Will fall asleep on myself or my husband whilst been rocked but the minute you move him to put him into his pram he wakes up and we are back to square one.Hes good at been awake all night as he'll settle on one of us but wakes up the minute he is put into his pram so he often gets over tired which makes him so much harder to settle. Any ideas?

Bluecarrot Wed 17-Jul-13 17:46:26

While I haven't researched these in relation to SIDS, I've seen mats that you cuddle the baby on, then lift whole thing onto the cot. Perhaps have a light blanket between your body and his too so the temp difference won't be as sudden.

Is he startling? Arms going out suddenly and hands opening? Swaddling might also be a possibility.

cunners1982 Wed 17-Jul-13 17:54:16

Yeah he startles loads, his arms and legs are all over through place. Ive tried swaddling him in both a sleeping bag and a swaddle from mama and papas but he seems to fight it more

agnesf Wed 17-Jul-13 18:03:15

When my dd was little (over 10 years ago) I used to breastfeed her to sleep on a big double bed and then when she was asleep I would extract nipple from mouth and go off and flop about in front of TV for a couple of hours.

She was too tiny to move anywhere and bed was huge so no risk of falling off.

Then at bedtime DH used to slide her into bedside basket.

This probably breaks all kind of H&S rules but it worked for us, gave me a break from her, and she slept through the night from a reasonable age so no rods for own back etc. It also preserved my sanity.

cunners1982 Wed 17-Jul-13 18:07:19

I would do anything for a few hours sleep overnight, I do all the text book things, change him, feed him then wind him its just the actual getting him into his pram is the difficult bit. We were using a moses basket but he weighs 10lbs and has made the basket dip in the middle so he was ending up slighlty head down which he didnt like

agnesf Wed 17-Jul-13 18:11:24

Not sure what to suggest really. The reason DH used to put dd in basket was because I was so scared she'd wake up.

I never did the winding bit - just let her drop off with boob in mouth.

agnesf Wed 17-Jul-13 18:13:15

while she was lying on the bed ..... boobs get quite stretchy after DC no 2 grin

purrpurr Wed 17-Jul-13 18:37:08

Hi OP, our DD is now 8 weeks old. For the first two weeks, when we put her in the moses basket, she wouldn't sleep, she'd only sleep on us. We had to do shifts round the clock. We kept trying her in the basket and I think in the second/third week she actually slept in it, I remember sitting there really surprised! Last night she slept for five hours straight in her basket, couldn't picture that when she was still a newborn :D

forevergreek Wed 17-Jul-13 18:52:00

Try making her bed into a 'nest'. Warm the mattress with hot water bottle if cool ( prob not in this weather, and take out before baby in). Make area smaller and snug by adding rolled up Muslins/ small towel under sheet at one end. Swaddle so she isn't startling herself awake.

However at this age we only did this when we went to bed at 11/12 pm. All eve they just slept skin to skin on one of us. We had a great sling we could do this with so we could move around if we wanted.

AnythingNotEverything Wed 17-Jul-13 18:59:16

He may not even know he's born yet - don't worry about putting him down. He's used to hearing heartbeats and being warm and cosy.

All of the tips above are good, but don't pressure yourselves to "fix" this - it'll come right on its own. Try do shifts so you can each get some rest.

Congratulations by the way!

CityDweller Wed 17-Jul-13 19:41:28

My 3 month old was like this when newborn and she now sleeps through in a bedside crib. In the early weeks we slept in 3hr shifts. Then started transitioning her to crib after warming it and swaddling her, but only when we were going to bed (ie 10 or so) and only once she was already fast asleep. I think at the beginning you just have to respond to baby's needs - they're so tiny and they want to be held all the time for a reason!

craftycottontail Wed 17-Jul-13 19:54:37

Could it be that he's a tummy sleeper?

Mine is 7 weeks old and was the same for the first few weeks - would happily sleep on us but not in his moses basket or anywhere else. Until someone suggested he might like sleeping on his tummy. We tried it and haven't looked back!

Of course it's up to you to weigh up the SIDS risk as current advice is to sleep them on your backs, but for us we felt that as all the suggestions seem to be lacking in hard solid proof that they stop SIDS we were willing to take the risk. Babies naturally turn their heads to the side to breath so if you try it and it looks like he's smothering his face in the mattress just leave him a few seconds to turn his head himself.

cunners1982 Wed 17-Jul-13 21:18:00

Thanks for the advice. i have noticed that he likes to sleep on his side but everything you read says this is also a no no

Ohhelpohnoitsa Wed 17-Jul-13 21:48:29

the best advice my friend gave me is now my mantra "all these things that seem so important or annoying while they happen, just become faded memories in the grand scheme of things." She was right. enjoy cuddling your baby, firget the rod for the back stuff. if you need a break from it, whuch I am sure you do, walk him in his pram or pushchair just far enough for him to get to sleep then dash home, park him up somewhere safe and shadey and flop /eat / clean / sunbathe or whatever. or if desperate, go for a drive and get a drive thru coffee or diet coke. anything as long as baby is safe and happy and you stay sane and happy. thanks

SignoraStronza Wed 17-Jul-13 22:01:35

12.5 months on and I'm watching this thread with interest.

curlew Wed 17-Jul-13 22:06:16

Please don't put him on his front to sleep at this age. It really, really increases the risk of SIDS.

hermioneweasley Wed 17-Jul-13 22:12:35

Is he your first?

It feels like it will never end, but when you look back it's the blink of an eye.

DP and I ended up co-sleeping with DD as she would NOT be put down. Ever. It was only a few months.

brimfullofasha Wed 17-Jul-13 22:49:25

OH and I had our DS sleeping on our chests in shifts for the first few weeks of his life. He needed the comfort and we were prepared to do anything that worked. Later we made a nest with rolled muslins under the sheet in his carry cot so it was cosy for him and he let us put him down after about 7 weeks. He sleeps well now in his cot.m

cunners1982 Wed 17-Jul-13 23:14:57

Yeah he is my first and i am tempted to try and co sleep just to get some sleep as Im shattered but people keep warning me against this for future problems.

If you need to co sleep for your sanity then do it! Ds was a great sleeper until he became too mobile to swaddle so we ended up co sleeping from about 5 months to 11 months. So many people advised against it, saying he would never go to sleep on his own. I knew instinctively when he was ready to be on his own and the first night he went into husband own room he went straight to sleep.

At 16 months he now goes 7.30pm - 8am (with the odd exception for illness, noise etc.) I'm so glad I didn't put myself through any more sleepless nights than I needed to.

mikkii Wed 17-Jul-13 23:24:30

DS was a child that never slept.

Our midwife suggested putting him down in his car seat for a couple of weeks as he wanted to be "scrunched up" (her description, but apt).

Later we used a swing, he hated being flat (reflux) and the swing was supportive, upright enough for his tummy and the white noise seemed to help too.

DS was a side sleeper, we had a thing from Spain that helped him stay on his side without rolling over.

Curlew is right about the current advice re SIDS, but with DD2 we got to the stage where we weighed up the SIDS risk with the risk of me having no sleep, impact on the children and my ability to drive.

lambinapram Wed 17-Jul-13 23:24:53

My daughter was the same - co-sleeping worked great for us. If you follow the guidelines the SIDS risk is very low and now at 8 weeks she is happy to sleep by herself in in her rocker long stretches during the day and now will sleep next to me but without touching in the night.

his own room!

lambinapram Wed 17-Jul-13 23:31:57

Read this:
babycalm.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-is-only-happy-in-your-arms-30/

I highly recommend her book as well. It was a life saver to understanding my 'clingy' baby.

ColdTeaAgain Thu 18-Jul-13 05:06:32

As others have said, 2 weeks is still so early. Co-sleep or take shifts, whatever you're more comfortable with but in my experience co-sleeping was the answer to everyone getting some decent sleep. My baby is 5 weeks and now sleeping in crib the majority of the time so co-sleeping doesn't necessarily have to last very long, if you don't want it to. You just have to give baby what it wants at this stage.

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