How can I encourage 3yo DD to interact with 6mo DS?

[INeedThatForkOff]

DD has never taken an interest in DS at all. He's now six months, and though she will play with me while I'm playing with him, she won't acknowledge him directly. She's never held or kissed him, and will only touch him briefly. I'm beginning to wonder if this will actually pass at all - I thought she'd have warmed to him by now.

We frequently tell and show DD that we love her. However there are things that have unavoidably had to change: she's never been a good sleeper, and while previously she was in with me, now DH goes to her (DS is a poor sleeper too [groan] and as he's BF I can't manage both of them if any of us are to sleep).

At bedtime I BF DS, then DD likes me to snuggle her to sleep, then DS usually wakes up again! At least she gets a bit if me then. It means I don't get started on any housework or paid work until gone 8 though.

DS is a rather clingy baby and doesn't nap much, so he demands my attention a lot of the time. TBH when a do have a few minutes spare I tend to try and get a job done rather than go and play with DD, then by the time I've done it DS is usually after me again. It makes me feel like I'm failing on all counts.

Does anyone have any advice about how I can encourage DD to show some affection towards her brother? I realise that she's had her nose pushed out. Perhaps I should focus on her needs more than worrying about this at this point.

[fairylightsinthespring]

A 3 yo is going to find a 6m old pretty dull. They can barely sit up, let alone play ball or anything. Can you maybe instead involve your DD in caring for her brother, just little things like choosing his outfit for that day, or helping to feed him (my 3 yo loves trying to help his DSis but she is 2 herself, so not that keen!!) Try and make her feel like a vital part of the team.

[StellaNova]

I was in a similar situation, with the sleep thing as well. I thought DS1 would never play with DS2 but now, at the age of 3 and 5, they do - they do fight a lot as well!

I found after watching Baby Jake DS1 was a bit more interested in baby DS2. We played "snowy adventures" with pillows on the floor etc.

Also we had a book called Siblings Busy Book which gives ideas of ways to involve different ages including babies in the same activities.

But basically DS1 wasnt that interested until DS2 could talk...

[MoragG]

We have a similar age gap (DD1 3.4 and DD2 5 months). What is working for us at the minute is getting DD1 to make DD2 smile or laugh by talking to her or showing her toys - she really likes the fact that she is able to do this. In the past DD1 has said that DD2 is 'boring', so this is a major improvement. In fact I have found that DD1 can be quite effective at getting DD2 to stop crying if I have popped out of the room for a moment. Don't know if this helps at all, but might be worth a shot. I was amazed the other say when DD1 said, unprompted, 'I like baby DD2!'

[gerbilsarefun]

My dd didn't show interest in dd2 when she was a baby, she basically ignored her. She wouldn't even hold her and we involved her in everything. She didn't show any jealousy either though. As soon as dd2 turned 1 and was walking, dd1 realised she had a playmate, and they have been quite good friends since. They are 14 + 11.

[INeedThatForkOff]

I'm taking heart from these, and I keep telling DD that DS thinks she's so grown up and clever (well, he's transfixed by something about her my way!) It's just that she's constantly told by other people that they bet she really loves helping with the baby, cuddling him Rex, but she just isn't interested.

[INeedThatForkOff]

Rex? Etc!!

[Mumzy]

Ds1 only started to interact with ds2 when he was about 2 a d could fetch things for him. I'd stop worrying about it as it will happen eventually and then they'll never stop arguing