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Parenting

playing out on the street - aged 7

15 replies

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 12:06

My dd has been invited to a friend's house for a play and sleepover, they are both 7. We've had this friend for a sleepover at ours and they get on really well and play very nicely together. The problem is dd's friend is allowed to play out on the street where they live. There are a few other children from dd's class who mostly all play out there. My dd has never played out. We live on a main road but even if we didn't I'm just not comfortable with her playing out on the street. It's a cul-de-sac but cars do go down there quite fast and I wouldn't be happy with it. Do I tell the parents that she can't go out to play as I think it's assumed that they will? Am I being overprotective? It will be hard for the parents to not let them out as that's what their dd is used to and when the other friends know my dd is there too I'm sure they'll be knocking. Help!

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Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 12:12

I totally understand your concern, I went through similar when my two started going out to play (cul de sac here with the occasional maniac). But I did do it and it was absolutely fine.

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 16:03

thanks for your reply. I really don't feel comfortable with it but also don't want to stop dd from going

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Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:08

I know blue it's really hard. Could you have a chat with the Mum and tell her how you feel? It may be that playing out isn't on the cards anyway.

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 16:11

I think I'll have to speak to them but I don't want them to feel I'm judging their parenting as they let their Dd out. I'm really rubbish at this sort of thing!

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Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:15

I would say that blue. Explain that as you live on a main road your DD doesn't play out. If I were the other Mum I would be fine with it-honestly.

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 16:27

thanks. I'll just have to explain she's not street wise. think I'd just be worried the whole time otherwise

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pollypandemonium · 20/02/2013 16:29

If you trust the other parent to look after your child you should trust her to know that she will make sure your child is safe. I think you should tell her that you are worried and ask her whether she would stay out with them to make sure. It is understandable that your child will need a bit of supervision if she has never played out in this way before.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:30

That's fine. if one of DS's friend's Mum said that to me at that age I would be ok with it, I really would.

We used to have a rule that if they had a friend round they weren't allowed to go out and play with the neighbours actually.

When's the sleepover?

pollypandemonium · 20/02/2013 16:35

If she's got a special friend over it's likely that she will want to keep her indoors for herself anyway - that happens with mine, it's as Sparklingbrook said - either neighbours or friends but not usually both.

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 16:41

I do feel that if I say something it will appear that I don't trust the parents. they seem really nice but I don't know them. I think they will want to play out as other school friends live nearby.

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germyrabbit · 20/02/2013 16:43

i don't see the problem with letting her out, remember how we did it and how much fun it was? it's hard when they first go out and all things go through your head but it really is in their best interest to give them the freedom to go out.

MajaBiene · 20/02/2013 17:28

If you are worried, I would tell the other mum that as your DD doesn't play out at home she has no road sense - then it makes it about your DD rather than saying you don't trust the mother iyswim.

However, I also think it would be a lovely opportunity for your DD to experience playing out if she can't do so at home.

bluebluecow · 20/02/2013 17:54

part of me really wants her to. she'd love the freedom but I'm worried

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PipkinsPal · 20/02/2013 18:01

Your DD's friends must live on my street as they all play in the road, usually outside my house, noisy, cheeky little feckers. Was not impressed that a 6 year old girl gave me a finger last year when I told them to get out of my garden! I hate the lengthening days.

MrsB74 · 20/02/2013 18:07

All the kids on our street (cul de sac) play out - my two are only 3 so I obviously stay out with them, but I would say from about 6 it's quite normal not to have constant supervision. We have a lot of 7 year old girls on our street and they all play out quite happily. My two already move straight to the pavement on their bikes, scooters etc. if they hear a car. All the drivers on our cul de sac are used to the kids being out and drive carefully. I agree with the other posters, just tell the mum that your daughter isn't used to roads and she'll keep an eye out.

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