What do you use as a consequence/punishment for a 7yo who appears to have no levers?! I'm starting to feel that I have no control or influence over ds1's behaviour and I find myself getting incredibly angry with him because i feel that nothing we say or do has any effect. He's not a particularly badly behaved child and is certainly not worst of his peer group, but he is very impulsive and emotional.
The most typical situations I feel we need to discipline are the sheer rudeness and disrespect that's coming home from school at the moment - we're getting a lot of sarcastic "yeah, yeah, whatever". And the general low level disobediance - not doing as he's told straight away, the purposeful ignoring, the fighting and arguing with his brother. The main problem is he just doesn't think ahead, even over a few minutes - there's no filter between his brain and his mouth; and he doesn't read the body language and tone of vioce to see when he's gone to far and to reign himself in. And it's all day, every day. Every day I usually have to shout at least twice before we leave for school, and god knows how many times between hometime and bedtime.
There's no way he would treat his teacher or friends parents this way and I know he's only pushing at home because it's a safe place to do so, but it's incredibly frustrating. On the one side, we've had umpteen positive discussions about why people don't like bad behaviour, why it won't get him nice things, about what reading body language actually means, we've spelt it out for him.
On the other side, we don't have consoles or game things and he doesn't have television or laptop time on a weekday anyway, so removal of screen time isn't possible. I'm utterly loathe to stop him from going to the afterschool clubs he does because they're already paid for (and are not cheap) and aren't necessarily on the day the incidents happen. He doesn't get pocket money so it can't be taken away, but I suppose we could start giving it to incentivise good behaviour? I just feel that we have nothing that can be used as an appropriate punishment. He gets a couple of bedtime stories from us and ten minutes reading in bed time and that's about it. We sometimes remove various bits of those but again it's important wind down time, and doesn't seem to have any longterm effect at all. It's all forgotten the next day. I feel I do have some 'personal authority' in that I have my version of the 'voice' and the 'look', but I also feel we need an actual sanction as well.
What do you all do, and use? What effect does it have? How can I get my dream child back?!
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Immediate & same day consequences/punishments for a 7yo boy?
35 replies
sparkle12mar08 · 12/02/2013 08:14
OP posts:
HilaryClinton ·
12/02/2013 19:17
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