Did you stay at home with TWO children?

(36 Posts)
Cbell Sat 09-Feb-13 20:18:03

DD is 2 years old. Baby number two due in 5 months.

My daughter starts nursery the beginning of March which is earlier than I'd originally intended (was thinking 3 years) but with a new baby coming I thought it best to get her settled in. However, I am having second thoughts about the nursery place (is too little/ what if she hates it/ what if she's sad..blab blah). I'm thinking the good stuff too but I am naturally anxious.

I'm wondering what it might be like to stay at home with a toddler and a newborn. I don't have family in the area so no extra support. Have you stayed at home with TWO children? How did you manage? Advice needed...

mercibucket Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:52

i found it easier to stay at home than do a nursery run!

IrnBruTheNoo Mon 11-Feb-13 12:10:23

I'd think it would be more stressful doing a nursery run with two small DC, surely? Agree with you merci.

issimma Tue 12-Feb-13 13:39:52

dd (2) goes to nursery 2 mornings a week. Getting there is a military op, but then ds (12 weeks) gets 1 to 1 time for cluster feeding, and if he sleeps, I can too (dd rarely naps).

NaturalBaby Tue 12-Feb-13 15:00:38

I stayed at home till ds3 was 8 months old. I did nearly loose my mind though. Ds1 was happy to be at home till 3, ds2 needed nursery/preschool at 2 1/2. I'm glad I had days where it didn't matter if we didn't go anywhere, we didn't have to be anywhere at a certain time, they all slept (me included) pretty much every afternoon.
Don't underestimate how much time you need away though. I thought an hour 3 times a week would be enough. No where near.

Softlysoftly Wed 13-Feb-13 10:38:57

I had dd2 when dd1 was 2.8yrs. The first 4 we spent at home from september she went to preschool 3 sessions a week. She adores it and is nice to have the time to focus on dd2 or get stuff done.

The first 3 months I found unbelievably hard as dd2 was never settled would not lie down in anything ever not even a sling sad but now it's amazing and they play together (only 8 months! ).

I would say that kids are amazing and adapt quickly. I went through all the angst of thinking dd1 would be jealous of the time taken from her but she never flinched and loves her sister, can't remember her not being there.

Do prepare, so cook and freeze 100s of meals now. Get lost of stuff that you can do with toddler while holding/feeding baby such as jigsaws, games (monster bingo is good), colouring and wipe clean workbooks plus crayons/pencils, books, and films + pop corn and blankets on the sofa (makes it more of an event than just tv). Keep a stock of new toys "don't have to be expensive) hidden for desperate times when you just need older one happy/distracted.

I would also consider the pre school it is really nice for them to make friends at that age and its only 2.5hrs so bit like an all day nursery.

Softlysoftly Wed 13-Feb-13 10:40:48

Ha typing with toddler and baby on knee so terrible!

BarbarianMum Wed 13-Feb-13 12:25:48

I did. Ds1 was just 2 when ds2 was born.

It was hard work for the first couple of years. Going out places saved my sanity - the park if the weather was nice, playgroups or friends houses (or they came to us, of course) - anything to avoid it being just the 3 of us in for the whole day.

Pre-school came into it when ds1 was 3.

Cbell Wed 13-Feb-13 13:30:38

Thanks for all of your replies.

We had our first settling-in session at nursery yesterday. DD loved it but whats not to love, lots of new toys, mummy at hand a a nice lady giving her a lot of attention. I realise it wont always be like this.

I'm going to continue with the settling-in but honestly I think I'm just waiting for one indicator that she's not happy and I'll back out...

Maybe I need the reality of a new baby to make nursery more appealing. Also I think she'll get her 15 hours free next January so I'd only be at home FT with two children for 4-5 months. My hesitancy is clear confused

ellesabe Wed 13-Feb-13 19:41:15

I stay at home with my two. Dd1 is 2.3yo and dd2 is 3 mo.

It would never occur to me to put dd1 in nursery. I love being af home with them both and it isn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. It obviously has its moments but we all find ways of coping don't we?!

LingDiLong Wed 13-Feb-13 21:08:32

In the nicest possible way, I think you are massively overthinking/over worrying about having 2 children at home. What makes you think it would be so impossible? Obviously there'll be an adjustment period and I can understand you being daunted but your OP reads as if you think it's not going to be manageable at all.

AngelDog Wed 13-Feb-13 21:16:31

I'm at home with a 4 m.o. and 3.2 y.o. and it's bearable. smile

I'd never manage get out of the house for nursery, and DS1 would hate it. A sling is your friend. Definitely fill your freezer ahead of time if you can.

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