Feeling very low and lonely being a single parent at the monent

[MillyStar]

Evening all

I don't even have a question I've just got a bit of a self pitying moan ;(

I've just felt so low and lonely this past week and cried nearly every day

I've got a 9 month old daughter and I chucked her dad out when she was 3 months old after yet another night of me in the spare room and her in her travel cot because he was so pissed

I live with my parents thank god so I've got some company and that feeling that someone is in the house, I think i'd have cracked up by now if I was totally alone, I don't want to sit with my mum and dad for hours though as ive already put them out a lot by having my baby here

I just get so fed up after 7pm when my little one has gone to bed, id kill just to get changed and go to the cinema, anything! All my friends are paired off and with their partners or just want to get smashed and take coke as if theyre still 19 (im 27)

ive got other friends who always drink in a local pub so id be welcome there but I feel so rubbish about myself ive not got the confidence anymore, ive joined slimming world this morning to finally shift the baby weight

I'ts not like im stuck in all week ive started back at work 2 days a week after Christmas and I take my baby to play groups and we meet up with our post natal group friends and my friends who've got young babies, it's just the evenings that I hate

I've found myself having a few glasses of wine when she is in bed as she sleeps through the night now and I've just been for a bottle for tonight after promising myself I wouldn't drink and I broke down in the car on the way home, I had to pull over and have a good sob

Im not mourning my relationship at all i'm completely over him, I cant even ask him to have our baby for the night as I don't trust him to stay sober when he's got her - I know ive been tipsy from wine but I don't touch it till shes in bed and im in bed myself by 11 and she doesn't wake till 6 at the earliest, but he is the type who would be absolutely smashed and asleep on the settee by 1pm which I would never dream of!

Maybe I should join the gym or something my mum wouldn't mind listening to the baby monitor for me

I know good times are coming ive got a night out for a friends birthday in 2 weeks and a caravan in the lakes booked in april for my friend and myself and our 3 kids, im looking forwards to the summer aswell as my little one will be walking etc and I cant wait to take her places

I've literally only felt like this since last Saturday ive been completely happy until then and I cant seem to shake it off ;(

that's it really

[NatzCNLS]

Cant really offer any words of advice as you seem pretty together if not just a bit down at the moment. Just wanted to say that somebody is listening, and I hope things pick up for you soon. Sounds like you are well supported but I understand the need to socialise with your friends.

If you continue to feel this way I would speak to your Health Visitor as postnatal depression can hit at any time, it's not always straight after birth. And the breakdown of your relationship - even though it was your choice and you are happy with this - can trigger PND.

I hope with the changing seasons you are lifted out of this low period. x