Hi. I've not posted on here before but wondering if anyone has any thoughts/advice for me
I have 2 DC - a boy age 6 and a girl who is 4 and half. My son is a brilliant sleeper (since age 3!) who goes to bed when tired, falls asleep straight away and we rarely hear a peep out of him until 7. in the morning.
My daughter, as a baby used to be a great sleeper. Always slept in her own room from day 1, was sleeping through the night at 10 weeks etc. However, she is 4 and half now and we frequently have problems. First she takes ages to go to sleep - we put her in bed between 7.30 and 8 and she can get up lots of times (wee/drink/need teddy etc) and be chatting to herself before she falls asleep (say 9 pm) MOre recently she wakes in the night which i find really hard to deal with.
I dont think she is having nightmares or anything - i think she just wants cuddles and for me to sleep in her bed or her in mine (ours - i have a DH)
Last night she was up at 2 am...and did not go back to sleep at all! At 6 we got up, both exhausted. It was, i want to come in with you, i want a cuddle, sit with me - then when i wont, we get, i need the toilet/a drink/i'm scared etc etc. I try not to engage to much with her - i.e. i dont sit cuddling with her - i say, its bedtime, we can cuddle in the morning. But i do get up and go to her repeatedly - i just can;t leave her.
Deep down i know she wants me to give in and take her into our bed (we have never allowed this and i think it important to teach children that their beds are safe and a good place to be!)My DH finds it extemely hard to deal with and will go in guns blazinf, shouting at her, threatening to lock her in her room, take her outside etc (he wouldn't|!) I disagree with this because i dont think it right to genuinely frighten a 4 yr old child. My DH says i am pandering to her and i'm too soft (probably am but its hard listening to her crying in the night for mummy) So it leaves me and DH arguing over the correct approach - and more often me trying to deal with it so he doesn't go in shouting.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how to deal with this? Fortunately it is not every night but tends to go in phases (every night for a week then she is fine for a few, then it starts again etc) Both me and my DH work full time and its exhausting!
In all other respects she is a happy, confident, independent little girl who happily trots off to school and does not need mummy all the time. I dont have any concerns about behaviour, development, bullying or anything like that and i can't think of anything that has triggered this off.
Sorry its long - would be interested in people's views
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Problems with 4yr old DD - wont sleep. Advice wanted
4 replies
toosoppyforwords · 07/01/2013 11:51
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