Does anyone else feel like they defend their toddler to DH?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

DS has just turned 2 and displays all of the general recalcitrant behaviour I consider normal for that age. Having meltdowns when tired and refused yet another biscuit. Wanting things to be done his way. Eating meals sometimes and then not touching previously favourite foods at others etc etc.

DH works full time and so only really sees DS for a full day at the weekends. Today, after a long and tiring toddle around the woods DS had a meltdown over lunch because he didn't want banana custard as pudding - but there wasn't anything else. DH looks at me (while DS sobbing in a heap) and says "when does having children get enjoyable then?"

I just feel like he's always 'down' on DS for being just a normal toddler - and that I am always telling him
he has unrealistic expectations. He expects DS to sit nicely at the dinner table until we have all finished, eat all his food etc (which I agree would be nice but a bit much for a just 2 yr old to grasp)

Anyway, thank you, just needed to rant!

[Lucy411]

Yep, and my lb is 11 months but a quick 11 months he's talking a lot and walks everywhere,so he does know when he's done something wrong like smack etc as he kisses me a second later and says sorry but I feel like I am always telling my partner to leve him alone he's only little and there was no need he's just being a small person!

He expects there not to be food scattered half way up the wall and a whole toilet roll not to be unravelled across the landing... Silly man! :)

[TeamSledward]

Had this with my DH for a while. He's a secondary teacher and so has a higher expectation of behaviour from children. There was a time that I was going blue in the face explaining, "He's only 2/3/4 etc".
DH eventually got the message, lowered his expectations and it helped that the boys grew up a bit too! Just remember... This too shall pass.

[PoppyWearer]

Yes, I still get this with DH and our 4yo DC1, he expects such high standards of behaviour from her but she is still only 4yo and absolutely exhausted from school (in spite of the Christmas holidays - she is hyper from seeing family and all the presents), and when young kids are tired THEY PLAY UP!

Hell, my own behaviour when I'm tired isn't great either! nor is DH's

[FayeKorgasm]

He is 2 and been on this planet just over 700 days and your DH expects perfect table manners.

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

Thank you all - so nice to hear. I'm currently 35 weeks preg with no 2 so I will see if he's anymore realistic with this one!
He too also says things about other children and thinks their behaviour always superior. I think perhaps he needs more time at playgroups...

[BlablaSos]

Oh yes! Your Dh sounds just like mine, and I feel that because I'm always defending dd to him, when to I ever get to release my frustrations and get support.
Nice that you are expecting again, my DH won't have another one because he doesn't enjoy the one we have, which makes me try to be super woman, and make life so easy for him so he changes his mind - don't think he will though :-(

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

Yes, I can relate to that too - I really pushed to have another and got him to agree at a weak point! I think he was just happy to have sex....

[TeamSledward]

Actually, you make a really good point about DH spending more time at play groups. I upped the number of play dates and friends invited over as something for the dc to do, but every time guests/playmates leave DH breathes a huge sigh of relief and says something like "I'm so glad ds1 doesn't bhave like x."
I think your DH needs to spend more time with younger children o experience what variations of behaviour there are out there!

[LarkinSky]

Ditto TeamSledward: weekend playdates / inviting friends with small children round really help my DH get some perspective on our own DC.

I completely understand, and also experience similar unrealistic expectations from some grandparents (who may not have been exposed to preschoolers for decades) as well. Nothing iike them witnessing our toddler's birthday party to help them understand normal childish behaviour!