Did anyone have anxiety while pregnant and the baby be absolutely fine?

[Damash12]

Hi i'm not sure if this is the best place to post but I have been suffering from anxiety on/off throughout this pregnancy. Sometimes just teary sometimes really distraught. It could just be hormones I guess but I am now 35 weeks and as I gets closer I am really worried I could have harmed the baby in some way by worrying so much. Did anyone else suffer from a lot of crying, anxiety and everything turn out just fine?? Many thanks x

[Nuttyprofessor]

Yes, I suffer from clinical anxiety. I had several failed pregnancies and my anxiety levels were through the roof.

My DS is now 12 years old and was the most perfect baby.

Welcome to motherhood, now you are worrying about worrying.

[Jayne266]

God yeah! Throughout all of my pregnancy and my DS was fine and now I worry constantly about him now. I think it's normal unless it's affecting your life.

[Mylittlepuds]

Damash I suffer extreme anxiety. Started after birth of DS1 and I'm 23 weeks into second pregnancy and have suffered with it throughout. Badly. I'm talking wanting to ring ambulances etc as worried I'm going to pass out die etc on many, many, many occasions. By all accounts the baby is totally fine. Perfect measurements etc and I've had extra scans with extra detail as I'm T1 diabetic.

Just remember with anxiety a lot of it is thoughts. Thoughts can't harm your baby x

[BedHog]

Yep. It was horrible, I had panic attacks, felt weak and barely functioned for the majority of my second pregnancy. Spent much of it in bed which was the only place I felt safe. Convinced I was going to have a baby boy and he was going to be stillborn.

So when the birth went relatively smoothly and I heard the words 'It's a girl', it was as if a heavy weight had lifted from me and I knew we would be ok. She's 1 now, perfectly healthy, and I have had no problems with anxiety at all since she was born. In fact I've probably been less anxious than an 'average' mother about the usual issues - feeding, sleeping etc., as a result of the anxiety during pregnancy and all the worrying about worst case scenarios. When you've pictured yourself in tragic circumstance, being woken 4 times in a night seems a piece of cake!

Do ask to be referred to an Additional Support Midwife - they are there to help and you might feel better if you talk things through, especially if your anxiety stems from pregnancy issues.

[Mylittlepuds]

Bed hog - so nice to hear a positive story! Currently in bed after panic attack...

[Bagofmashings]

I was very anxious while pregnant, I lost DS's twin very early on and was convinced I was going to loose him too. He was born very close to his due date and was perfect and totally chilled out, no problems at all with him.

[Damash12]

Ah thank you soooo much to every reply. I have hoty self worried sick with all kinds of things. I've obviously (stupidly) googled and read anxiety floods your body with cortisol and a mothers state of mind affects the baby. I was originally on citalapram when first conceived (starts them 4 weeks before I know) this was due to being very down from the year before, mum died of cancer in may, 3 months later I had to put my dog to sleep and then 3 months later i miscarried at 11 weeks so by the new year I was in a pretty rubbish place and then start to stress about everything especially how I feel about husband. I start to panic I don't love him and then panic I'm going to lose him! Anyway, consultant was happy with the Ads upto 20 weeks, to he honest they didn't stop the anxiety so not much point but now I stress they will have hurt the baby. I'm also terrified of the baby being stillborn thanks to a clairvoyant years asking if I'd ever lost a baby and another saying I'd have a boy then a girl (I already have a boy and this one will be a boy) basically my mind is running riot and sometimes I can't sleep. I'm finding it hard to differentiate between hormones and anxiety. Anyway to all of you your replies have helped a lot and I feel a lot calmer.

[Dromedary]

Had a lot to worry about during last pregnancy - v stressed. DC has been a very easy, chilled out, confident child.

[ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas]

Very chilled out, smiley 7 month old here. Massive anxiety all through his pg as had 4 miscarriages before - does not seem to have had the slightest impact on the baby.
Maybe the clairvoyant (if that is worrying you still) was referring to your mc?

[sharond101]

I receive treatment for anxiety and had a healthy baby boy 7 months ago I was frantic about for the whole pregnancy. I thought every symptom of absence of symptoms of pregnancy was a bad sign, had numerous reassurance scans and tracings and would worry non stop something would go wrong. I still worry now but look back and wish I could have enjoyed the pregnancy more. LO is sitting playing with Xmas toys now.

[merlottits]

I'm a nutter pregnant. Huge anxiety and depression, constant thoughts of stillbirth and intrusive thoughts. Regular panic attacks, lots of crying.

I have three perfectly healthy children.

[Damash12]

Wow, so glad I posted, does anyone think that this level of anxiety is pregnancy hormone related? It's just before I was pregnant I used to get negative thoughts, mini episodes of anxiety just as I was due on each month. I used to get tearful and down and could then pretty much pinpoint the time of month.

[Mylittlepuds]

Well I didn't even know what anxiety/panic was until I gave birth to DS. It was most certainly hormonal for me. Used to be bad two weeks before periods too. It's hell. Not sure if it's just learned behaviour now though. I really hope I doesn't get even worse once DC2 is born. Nice to know I'm not alone :-)

[shelsco]

I was very anxious with ds1 and have read since that there is a type of depression which is anteNatal rather than post natal. I didn't think I was depressed, just worried but I think that was what I had. It disappeared when ds1 born (he's 14 now) and he was fine. Had 3 other pregnancies since and wasn't anywhere near as bad with them. Think the first time I was anxious because I had had a miscarriage and was worried it would happen again. Definitely linked to hormones I think,

[lola88]

God yes i think i cried everyday my grandad had terminal cancer throughout my pregnancy which effected his mind and he kept telling me that the fetuses were all dying i started to think it was tempting fate and was really upset, then 3 weeks from my due date we were told he had 3 week to live i then became convinced that DS would be born on the day he died and he would forever be a horrible reminder of losing my grandad and no one would want to see him!

As it was DS was fine my grandad died 4 days later but my lovely gran says DS got her through a new little life to hold on to :)

[Jac1978]

I think it could be hormones but also it could be a natural reaction to all the loss you've experienced. We often have an overwhelming feeling of dread when we feel things are out of our control and your losses have taught you to feel overwhelmed by what might happen. It might help you to write down your fears as they happen and talk them through with your midwife and perhaps she can reassure you about how unlikely these things are to happen. Don't beat yourself up though - it is a huge thing to be carrying a little life inside you and it's only natural to worry about it and feel protective of it. You haven't harmed your baby with being anxious at all but it may help your own sanity if you get into the habit of calming yourself down with positive thoughts whenever you feel a wave of panic coming on or perhaps do something that makes you feel relaxed that isn't baby related. You and your baby will be fine this time because you're a good person and some luck is due your way.

[Damash12]

Jac1978- many thanks for a lovely reply, and it makes total sense and I'm going to try and enjoy the last few weeks of this pregnancy if it bloody kills me :-) Spoke to midwives and to be honest I find them bloody useless and dismissive. She pratically laughs when I say I've been worrying about the baby, anxiety and its met with "Yeah most people worry about it, it's normal" and I'm left feeling as a number. However, I have been and seen a cbt counsellor who once I have had the baby is referring me to a hormone speacialist as she says there is evidence that your hormones affect levels of anxiey and people with generalised anxiety are known to have a hormonal thing going on. Not sure of what it is or anymore than that as I can't do anything til baby arrives but I'm glad I mentioned how bad I got when near my monthly cycle.

[catgirl1976geesealaying]

Yes, totally

In fact I think I posted on here about really worrying something terrible was going to happen to the baby and seeing "signs" everywhere (even though I don't do woo)

I think it's perfectly normal. Especially given all you have been through recently

[CoolaYuleA]

It took us four years of fertility treatment to conceive DD, and I was told I was at a higher risk of mc due to PCOS.

When I was 12 weeks DH deployed to Afghanistan for six months and wasn't due back til two weeks after my due date, so I had the worry of him being possibly wounded or killed, on top of the worry re MC. I only got to speak to him every few days, although sometimes it was up to a couple of weeks between phone calls.

I was living alone in Germany, with no family support, and working in a stressful job whilst also running a house, all the finances, sorting out for the baby etc.

My dad had a quadruple bypass whilst I was pregnant.

My disabled mum had a fall.

We have a family history of SIDS so I was terrified about DD's safety after she was born. We were told we were getting put on the CONI programme throughout my pregnancy, but three weeks before my due date we were told funding had been withdrawn (luckily we got it back just after she was born).

I developed GD and had to be induced early.

I developed complications and was handed a leaflet about possible outcomes with no actual explanation - top of the list - stillbirth.

Due to this my consultant and GP contacted the Army and demanded that my DH be brought back from Afghanistan. He was home within 24 hours, the following day I went in to hospital.

I was MASSIVELY anxious throughout my pregnancy, and for months after due to the SIDS thing.....

DD is THE most laidback, happy child I have ever met - and I'm not being PFB, everyone says it (including people who don't like me hehehe!)

She slept through from five weeks, plays happily on her own, isn't clingy, loves people, eats anything and is ALWAYS smiling.

Whilst I was pregnant I read an article that says that being stressed during pregnancy leads to unsettled babies.... All I can say is DD clearly didn't read the article .

Your baby will be absolutely fine, don't worry.

[Damash12]

Coolyule- good god I can truly understand why you would be anxious with a capital A.It as put my fears into a bit if context I guess. But when in fight or flight mode I almost feel the knots of whatever in my system and think they can't do baby much good. Anyway, a big thank you, your story makes me more relaxed and your dd sounds lovely. I don't know if hormones are easing off but I've had a good few days and actually getting excited about neeting my new Ds! X

[PiccadillyCervix]

I was a mess. I knew the pregnancy wouldn't last. I would miscarry then when I got to the 20 week scan iI was sure there would be a problem. then I was sure we would die in labor. She is two now and doing fine so far ;)

[LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas]

Yes, my dad died from cancer and I had a mc 2 days later, I found out I was of when realizing I hadn't had a period after the mc. I found it very difficult to cope with the idea of being pg. delayed telling people till almost 20 and then ended up having an amino and well just didn't feel the same as I did when I was pg with my dd.

I knew my mw well from having dd and burst into tears telling her how I just didn't feel the same and was worried about how I was feeling. She insisted I saw the gp feeling I was depressed. I did see him but tbh I didn't want to take ad so played more on my grief than depression. But she kept an eye in me and I found confiding completely in my dh very helpful.

Anyway, ds is now 16 months and whilst I wished he would sleep more that really is the only thing I would change

You will get through this.

[curryeater]

Yes. I worried constantly and cried several times a day from sheer anxiety and stress. When I was pg with dd2 that twat Oliver James came on the radio and did his crappy unhelpful spiel about maternal stress and I sobbed and sobbed. Both my dcs were born utterly relaxed, bf well at once, slept pretty well early on, and are still confident and secure. dc2 - throughout whose pregnancy I was probably worse - is the most relaxed and cheerful baby / toddler you have ever seen and people stop in shops to comment on it (sneaking in a boast there, sorry, but on the other hand I am not boasting because no way can I take credit for this, gibbering wreck that I was and sometimes am).

DON'T WORRY! impossible, I know, but still, try not to. Good luck. all will be well.

[Chottie]

Yes, I had three consecutive miscarriages and worried my way through the whole of my next pregnancy. I had two episodes of bleeding too which didn't help. Fast forward and I had a perfect, healthy, full term baby who is so chilled and laid back it is unbelievable.

Hope this helps to reassure you, good luck :)

[HRMumness]

I too was very stressed and anxious during my pregnancy but my 5 month old is asleep on me right now and she is wonderful.

I had a very stressful job plus we were renovating the bedrooms in our house (the rest is still unrenovated but liveable and we are starting more work now things have settled). We spent half of my pregnancy living in the front room downstairs, with our stuff and dust everywhere plus I was doing lots of DIY on top of my job. I remember my DH finding me bawling and he asked what was wrong, I responded with "I don't know" and bawled some more. My mum almost died when she had my elder brother as she had complications from pre-eclampsia, he was born 7 weeks early (this was in the 70s mind so preemie care isn't what it is now).

Best thing I did for myself: go on maternity quite early. I had 4 weeks holiday and 4 weeks maternity before baby arrived (we had both my MIL and Mum stay during some of that time). As soon as I finished work I found my SPD and stress levels much more manageable.