Bored Housewife?

[Cbell]

Just a grumble.

I'm a SAHM to a nearly 2 year old DD. I wanted to stay at home with her and feel lucky to be able to choice to make this decision. However, I do find myself waking in the morning with a sense of gloom.

I keep us busy, we do daily activities. I'm actually quite a good house wife (cooking, cleaning, sewing, knitting....filling the house with all finds of feminine touches!) and I quite like it but I'm also quite smart and like adult company.

It's my intention that my DD will start part-time nursery some time this year and that I would do some voluntary work. The slow and steady steps back to work but I'm (tentatively) pregnant. I'm only six weeks and I miscarried earlier this year so we're holding our breath. In fact this is the first time its been mentioned outside DH and myself (please don't be a jinx on much wanted baby).

Maybe my life will be a wild whirlwind once I have two babes. I have no idea how I'm going to cope. I'd like not to feel bored or at all ungrateful for the wonderful life I live. I'd just like a bit more. How do you stay sane with 1, 2 children and being at home full time?

[QTPie]

Hi

Congratulations (really hope this pregnancy works out for you).

DS is now 2 years 10 months. When he was 10 weeks old, I started having a professional nanny look after him for a few hours one afternoon (just so I could get out, go to the gym). I was breastfeeding, but we worked it around his feeds. When he was 11 months old (but could have done it earlier - when he dropped most milk feeds), we changed it to two 4 hour mornings a week. I still have this and use it to go to the gym, the supermarket and run errands etc (amazing how quickly 4 hours goes!).

Finances allowing, you could do something similar (or do you have family in the area who would happily regularly babysit?). You could use the time to work or do voluntary work instead? A couple of mornings to do "whatever keeps you sane"...

You could start any voluntary work during pregnancy - if you felt fit, able and enthusiastic. Does sound like you need to fit a bit of "you" time into the week.

[findmeintheflowerbed]

Congratulations on your pregnancy, hope it goes well.

I have 2 under 3 (2.10 and 14 mo) and am a sahm. I am doing an MA with the open university which is keeping me sane. Perhaps you could consider something similar, they also do many shorter courses.

[Iggly]

I found it easier with two than one in terms of boredom levels.

I also put ds into nursery twice a week (mornings) for a bit of a breather.

I got out more on playdates too - talking to other adults made life bearable!

Fingers crossed for the pregnancy BTW. I had a MC between my two which was tough.

[Cbell]

I think I've got myself in a pickle. I feel quite fed-up and find the idea of trying to organise myself out of this mood tiring/ overwhelming/ pointless. I'm really not sure how it got so bad and I find it hard to communicate to my husband that I am actually a bit unhappy.

I think I find it hard to separate the joy and pleasure I get from my daughter with my feelings about being at home full time. During the day there are lots of moments of happiness because I love being with my little girl this I think masks the dissatisfaction I feel about having nothing else going on in my life.

A course is an option. Although I'm not short on qualifications what I am short on is work place experience. Argh...I make myself angry at how negative I'm being. I want to feel happy, especially as there is a new baby on the horizon.

[Cbell]

I think I've got myself in a pickle. I feel quite fed-up and find the idea of trying to organise myself out of this mood tiring/ overwhelming/ pointless. I'm really not sure how it got so bad and I find it hard to communicate to my husband that I am actually a bit unhappy.

I think I find it hard to separate the joy and pleasure I get from my daughter with my feelings about being at home full time. During the day there are lots of moments of happiness because I love being with my little girl this I think masks the dissatisfaction I feel about having nothing else going on in my life.

A course is an option. Although I'm not short on qualifications what I am short on is work place experience. Argh...I make myself angry at how negative I'm being. I want to feel happy, especially as there is a new baby on the horizon.

[MrsJamin]

I can understand where you're coming from. I have been at home since DS2 was born nearly 3 years ago. I had no real intention of becoming a SAHM but I couldn't get flexible working at my original job then just had a contract between DS1 + 2 which meant I had nothing to return to. I have been looking for a reasonably well paid part time job in my field but there is nothing. I feel like I am coping better now but you do lose your mind a bit. There are things you can do to feel better - get involved in some charity work- like I do things for my son's preschool charity. I really want to work now that DS2 is nearly eligible for his 15 hours of childcare but professional part time jobs are like gold dust- it's so frustrating. So my advice to you would be to get out and about and get to know other mums so you can have adult time in the day, see if you can do free work experience before your 2nd is born, if possible? It might be easier to see it just as a few years out of your career and that at some point you will be able to return to it. You will cope and you will enjoy having two - there's more going on so you feel like you are useful to be at home.

[RayanneGraff]

I think I understand what you're saying- as much as I want to be at home, there are times when I really want something else going on. The idea of getting some childcare organised sounds good- your DD will be eligible for her free hours very soon right? I would start some voluntary work/study and then you can continue through pregnancy and then take a break when the baby comes.

If you're feeling really down could you talk to someone in rl about how you're feeling? And/or do keep chatting on here of course :)

[GimmeIrnBru]

I'm a SAHM and have two DC. Have been at home now for over four years. I will start voluntary work next year, but have got the ball rolling from this September. We are going to be a host family for a little one from Belarus through the charity Friends of Chernobyl's Children. One of our friends was visiting and mentioned that she's starting up the group in our area and would we like to pass the message on to anyone who would be interested...well, we thought about it, and decided to go ahead with it after several weeks. We are very much looking forward to it.

For me, it's something that's just clicked (it's taken four years!!) and I know this is the voluntary work I want to do until the children are both in school when I can get back to paid employment again.

Can you consider doing a project or scheme that would suit you as a family on a voluntary basis? Something that will give you a boost to your self-esteem?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!! :)

[GimmeIrnBru]

My two are 5yo and 2yo, btw. It makes a huge difference when you've one in school five days each week!