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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

taking my grandson on full time

18 replies

alycia · 03/12/2012 09:31

hi everyone. i wrote on this site a while ago and got some really good feedback and advice. i took on my grandson a while ago hes 1years old now. My daughter couldnt cope with him. ive two girls also ages 7 and 3 soon. i love them all so much but its hard work. money is a issue also need bits for them all but just cant buy all the time.i never have time for myself much.i love been a mum and nan but i do struggle at times. ive just recently moved and im finding that hard as i dont have no friends in the area as yet.just really need to unburden and have a little moan.got court in january to get a full time residence order for my grandson.Not really sure what im entitled to money wise for him only about cbenefit.He isnt sleeping at night ive tried everything. and he fell out of the cot not sure how as the sides are up. so since then i havent put him back in it. Thinking maybe he needs a toddler bed which im trying to get with no look as yet.

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BumpingFuglies · 03/12/2012 11:01

Sounds like you need some support OP. Have you applied for tax credits? Are you working?

Does your daughter see her son at all? Do you have any family near you?

try this to see what you might be entitled to

alycia · 03/12/2012 11:25

hi.i dont work but really want to think i might look after xmas.no not applied yet for tax credits.my daughter does see him a few days when she can be bothered.my family isnt big but i have my mum but she works in the day.

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ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 03/12/2012 11:27

Hi, sorry to hear you're struggling.

I'm no good with benefits advice, but have you tried Freecycle in your area for a toddler bed? I've got some good stuff from there, and given away too.

sugarandspite · 03/12/2012 11:29

Just a thought about the cot climbing:

check the base is as low as it can go / sides as high as they can go (obvious I know but worth making sure)
if you haven't already, put him in a sleeping bag. You can get cheaper ones from asda / tk maxx etc and it makes it much harder for them to climb out as they can't get their knees up property to climb and their feet are slippy so can't grip as easily.

Personally, I'd keep him in his cot as long as possible as it definitely makes life easier if they are 'contained' when that little!

BumpingFuglies · 03/12/2012 12:05

Try to get tax credits sorted out as soon as you can - you can do it online. If you have the finances sorted, you can then concentrate on all the other issues.

Also what Icantuck said - Freecycle is good. Also the British Heart Foundation for a bed - do you have one near you? They will deliver as well.

alycia · 03/12/2012 12:55

ive tried freecycle with no joy as yet but ill keep looking.

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alycia · 03/12/2012 12:57

yes its at the very bottom just cant understand hows hes fallen out of the cot.but i will try a sleeping bag.

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alycia · 03/12/2012 12:58

ill try the british heart foundation theres one near me thanks

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CoolaYuleA · 04/12/2012 01:58

If his shoulders are above the cot sides when he is standing in the cot then he is tall enough to climb out. Some children who aren't that tall but can grab the top rail are very good climbers and can use their feet to brace against the cot sides and climb out that way too.

I use sleeping bags - they can't lift their legs high enough :)

Iheartpasties · 04/12/2012 02:19

good luck to you :) you sound like a fab nan, and mum.

IceNoSlice · 04/12/2012 02:48

Good luck op. Are there any toddler groups you could go to with 3yo and 1yo to meet some local people and make friends? Anything at the children's centre? I love the groups I go to, if I didn't I think I'd go a bit nuts, just me and the baby all day. And they're usually free or only a couple of £.

CheerfulYank · 04/12/2012 02:51

Not much advice OP, just wishing you the best! Sounds very tough. I hope you get the support you need.

alycia · 04/12/2012 07:42

thanks so mucheveryonex

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alycia · 04/12/2012 13:17

omg. im sooooo mad. was sorting dates out for christmas regarding my grandson. to make things fair between me my daughter and grandsons dad. given him dates to have his son and hes stated to me he cant him most of the days as hes going out drinking. not sure what to think really apart from hes a waste of space and not thinking of his son at all. really dont no why i bother sometimes.

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Pyrrah · 04/12/2012 15:01

Some parents - and I use the term loosely - don't deserve to be blessed with children. Makes my blood boil when I see people going through all the heartbreak of miscarriages and infertility and some people can't be bothered spend time with the children they had so effortlessly.

What a lucky thing for your grandson that he has such a wonderful grandmother to care for him.

alycia · 04/12/2012 16:18

thanks so much. i just do my best for him thats all i can do.

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BusterTheDonk · 04/12/2012 19:20

Hi.. I'd recommend looking at this website... it will detail what you are entitled to... have SServices been involved? ... you should be eligible to kinship allowance... click here

Good luck...

alycia · 05/12/2012 14:05

hi thanks so much.this site is brilliant.s s are involved but didnt say anything about extra help. im going to try and apply for kinship allowencex

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