On becoming Mary Poppins... Toddler and newborn support thread #2

(883 Posts)
ThePinkNinja Thu 08-Nov-12 09:38:53

A place to continue the complaining conversation about the hair pulling days and sleepless nights fun and frolics of life with a toddler and newborn

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Sat 12-Jan-13 19:15:17

Wow Angel kudos to you for the calm and togetherness of your action plan for DS needing a poo in the street! Don't think I would've been so cool and calm.

My 2.5 DS is not quite ready for potty-training yet though I'm sure it's not far away but will put it off for as long as poss as DC2 due soon, and I've heard you hav to be super-quick to react which I won't be with a newborn. Mind you the impending production line of nappy changes doesn't look that attractive either!

We used a dummy with DS1 when he was little (2m ish) and I don't remember much of a problem stopping it later.

crazypaving hope ur having a better day - being stuck indoors with two is horrible when they are like that!

AngelDog Sat 12-Jan-13 21:42:48

When will I get my evenings back??? DS2 is 13 weeks - surely he shouldn't be awake this late any more. hmm

Lifeis, I was only calm because I'd read about someone else doing the same, so I knew what to do and didn't have to work it out for myself! smile

debbie1412 Sat 12-Jan-13 23:39:55

Mine has only just gone down. I'm aiming for 2014 :-)

lisbethsopposite Sun 13-Jan-13 07:38:24

awake since 4.30 Sick baby - cough. Asleep now.Think I'll try to join him

EMS23 Sun 13-Jan-13 12:03:27

Oh this cough going round is a nightmare, you have my sympathies. All 3 of mine have had it and the baby is still suffering. She was up 2-4am with it and sicked up her feed. Like this isn't hard enough, we have to have coughs as well!!
Hope you got some sleep after.

lisbethsopposite Sun 13-Jan-13 23:05:32

baby has been poorly several days. serious velcro time. good job his little sleepy face is soo beautiful.
ds1 too poorly for play group(3 mornings a week ). fingers crossed for next week. How much more of buddies can i take?

debbie1412 Mon 14-Jan-13 14:49:39

1st day on my own with my 2, I'm freaking out slightly. Nothing's actualy happend but I'm on egg shels thinking its all going to kick off at once. I've realised the 10 wks that we've had 2 childresn I've only spent 3/4 of them on my own as dp had a large Xmas break and 2 wks when she was born. I'm really freaking :-(

GirlOutNumbered Mon 14-Jan-13 15:08:25

You'll be fine debbie! I'm 18 weeks in now and haven't managed to do anything ridiculous yet. Apart from putting baby in 4+ nappy and that all worked out for the best.

debbie1412 Mon 14-Jan-13 15:59:11

It's ridiculous I'm in my own comfy house we don't need to venture out. Ds had nursery this morning so it hasn't even been a full day. Why is it so daunting?? Anyway day 1 nearly over and no-ones died :-)

crazypaving Mon 14-Jan-13 18:29:25

angel can sympathise with wanting evenings back. ds2 is 14 weeks and suddenly this week is starting to go down a bit earlier - holding breath as I write but he went down 10mins ago! not convinced he's going to stay down...in fact can hear him grunting... we're an hour ahead on holiday atm in case you're wondering, not actually putting my children to sleep at 6pm!

oh bugger he's awake gotta go

debbie1412 Mon 14-Jan-13 22:27:43

I love my kids :-) just thought I'd mention that as I seem to be always moaning about them x

bedhaven Wed 16-Jan-13 09:28:20

Hey ya, I thought this thread had disappeared, glad to have found it again. The roller coaster continues! I'm pleased to say I'm having a slightly better time with DD now aged 2 and DS now 16 weeks.
I've been feeling a little bit isolated. Finding time to communicate and meet up is pretty tough, I can barely reply to a text, there's always distraction so my phone keeps locking itself again and it takes 3 times as long or never gets completed.
RL conversation- my life is children, I have nothing else to talk about so I'm reluctant to speak, that is if I can be awake and vaguely alert late enough to catch friends that either work or ones that have finished school-dinner-bath-bed.
I quite enjoyed groups when DD was a baby but I went back to work earlier than everyone else and (all my own fault) I didn't make the effort to maintain contact. The groups now are either mostly first time Mum's and I don't feel I have so much in common or maybe I'm making assumptions?
It's been my 40th birthday and DD 2nd, pleased to have seen some friends and confessed my avoidance both intentional and not. Reassured to be told how normal all this is and that it will pass. Bit like here- thanks for that!
My DH has been fab, doing everything he can but he worries when I say how I've been feeling. He worries I'm not as happy as I used to be which seems so sad. At times im afraid I do feel rubbish and saying it out loud or writing it down helps so much. It's also important to remind myself of those completely joyful times, it's so easy to get caught up in the negative and forget.
I hope you all have on the whole a wonderful day, best go I've been going on long enough and DS is awake and cooing...ah!

Naturally281110 Wed 16-Jan-13 21:51:02

Hello! Glad I found this thread!! DS had just turned 2 and DD just turned 5 months. Can't get her on a bottle- not even EBM. She feeds every couple hours night and day and toddler still wakes once or twice a night. Was wondering when the time will come that I manage to pull on a pair of clean pants- even that feels like an achievement right now!! I simply drop my clothes on tbe floor at night and pull thrm back on the next morning!! The kids are squeaky clean but I look like a shocking mess!! Where did "me" go!!??! ! We had a wedding ovet Xmas and it had been such a long time since i'd got to use it my mascara had dried up- there was a time i even wore it to the gym blushI can't even get the ironing done- its not even like I want to do the ironing, it's just something else I haven't achieved during the day!! Arghhhhhh!!! DH comes home from work- the house is a tip and it looks like I've done nothing all day!!!

EMS23 Thu 17-Jan-13 03:04:08

Sympathising a lot with the last two posts, I often feel like I've disappeared. So the other day I went to a large branch of Tesco to do my food shop but bought some new tops as well, quite smart ones. I've been wearing them and keeping a lipgloss close by and as silly as it sounds, I feel a bit better for it.

Bedhaven - is it worth you seeing the doctor to talk about PND? It sounds like it might be worth you just checking.
I also went back to work much sooner than my new 'mum' friends after DD1 and so struggled to keep contact. This is so hard as it is but it's worse when you feel lonely, which I also do. Is there anyone you could re-establish contact with, scary as it might be at first? I'm shit at making new friends so I know it's not as easy as simply going to a group thing. Where in the UK are you?

AFM I'm getting very frustrated with DD2's sleep regression. She's waking frequently at night and I'm shattered. At least DD1 is sleeping through reliably again but I'm so tired. I want to sleep through!!

bedhaven Thu 17-Jan-13 09:00:04

Thanks EMS, was wondering that myself but kept thinking it wasn't that bad...but if it helps anything is worth a try.
After my last post I bumped into one of the old gang of toddler Mums and were going to meet up and I've phoned another friend to meet so spurred on in the rght direction. Thanks

crazypaving Thu 17-Jan-13 11:56:46

hi all, currently abroad on holiday. will post properly when I'm back but can sympathise with everyone! I'm well fat atm and rotate the same yucky 3 unflattering outfits. do heaps of washing but somehow never my clothes. would love to fastforward to when the boys are more independent so I can do stuff for me again.

this too shall pass, right? (when???!)

debbie1412 Thu 17-Jan-13 23:03:20

For f&£k sake child go to sleep '

Naturally281110 Fri 18-Jan-13 08:06:05

Hi Bedhaven. To cut a long story short ice recently been diagnosed with PND and anxiety by GP after being badgered senseless by DH and my mum to get checked. Have decided not to go down medication route as BF DD2. Decided to try bit of counselling to help with low mood and she recommended a website called "live life to the full" which has free help stuff. Have just ordered myself a little booklet on PND called "enjoy your baby" (!!!!!!!) www.fiveareas.com/resourcearea/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=140 and can let you know what it's like and if any help?? Is your HV helpful?? Mine had also realised how difficult I've been finding it and flagged up a course for me to go on that helps parents deal with toddlers with naughty tendencies!! If nothing else it'll force me out the house! Is there something in your local children's centre??

whatdoithinknow Fri 18-Jan-13 14:04:20

Well atleast I'm not alone in struggling with this. But a quick question...how do u know wen u are feeling down and stressed and tearful because it is hard and u are tiered or whether it is pnd? My little one is just a month old and dd2 is so demanding I feel like whoever it was that said they feel like they are starting to hate their elder one. I'm not obviously but she's relentless with pulling at lo and I'm constantly trying to defend him from her or putting him in his bouncy chair in another room just so she cant hurt him. After a day of this I'm then glad to hate a break wen dp gets home and also wkend's I'd love to be able to leave them both with him for a couple of hours but cant as bf lo so its always eldest dp helps with and he's started saying its like I never want her around. Which its not its just I've usually been battling the two of them for a few hours before he gets home and has dd thrust upon him! Also feel confused and tearful a lot. Arguing with dp think we are splitting up. Someone asked me kids names in toddler group yesterday....i knew eldest and then literaly looked down at baby in my arms whilst I tried to remember his name! What is wrong with me? Yesterday was a particularly bad day I didn't want to be in house so went to two toddler groups and then to see my mum all as I couldn't bare to be stuck home on my own with them:-( the good moments are fab but is it normal to struggle this much??

EMS23 Sat 19-Jan-13 12:44:50

Yes whatdoithinkiknow, IME it's normal to really struggle especially only a month in as you are. The way you've described feeling is exactly how I felt at that stage. I'm 4 months in now and it's much better.

As to wether it's PND, in your case. I couldn't answer that. I had PND after DD1 and although the weeks after DD2 felt desperate, I just sort of knew it wasn't PND again. I didn't feel so foggy and although its been tough and hard work and exhausting, it's felt do-able.
If you're not sure, can you talk to your HV or your doctor?

It sounds like things are shit with your DP too? What's happening? Do you want to tell us about it?

whatdoithinknow Sat 19-Jan-13 13:50:46

Thanks ems I think I'll just see how things go and keep an eye on how I'm feeling. I've never taken anything for depression in my life but have sometimes been sure I've suffered from it,at the moment it could just be the situation tho. And baby brain in the extreme??! Glad to hear things improve gradually...i'd really like to enjoy some of these early days too but I'm realising I'm going to need some help I think! Just to enjoy them both together. Things seem betta with dp today but it just gets to me that he makes his plans and acts carefree just assumin that muggins here will take care of everything at home. I know he works ft but I think going to work is far easier than staying home and dealing with things here! Then I feel guilty for feeling that because I should enjoy looking after them and I did with dd1 and stil do with ds2 but together its harder to enjoy the little moments:-( oh wel it seems this is what I signed up for! Why did I not know it would be this hard tho?lol hope your all coping better than me have had fun in snow so thats been good well dp played with eldest so she didn't miss out on anything while I was seeing to lo.

bedhaven Sun 20-Jan-13 08:43:02

FFS mumsnet not you aswell! I spent ages writing a considered reply which is not easy in my fugged up state and you log me out and it's lost and now I am being jumped on by a toddler and a furry sheep! Argghh!

Lifeiswhatyoubakeit Sun 20-Jan-13 21:10:50

whatdoithink I can sympathise with how you are feeling even though I'm not mum to two (yet, 39wks pg and DS1 is 2.5)! Just being heavily pregnant and tired makes me very snappy and intolerant of DS1 and I find myself not enjoying his company a lot of the time which makes me feel horribly guilty. And I don't even have the pressure of a newborn yet so please don't be too hard on yourself.

Looking after young children (especially newborns and terrible twos) is really really intense and anyone that says its a breeze must be lying frankly (or be Mary bloody Poppins!!)!

Remember the mantra... This too shall pass.... (I'm already doing it!) and the wonderful moments will crop p when you least expect them!

MadMonkeys Tue 22-Jan-13 11:26:17

Hi there, can I join in? Dd1 is 3yo, dd2 18wo. Things were settling down nicely, dd2 was sleeping really well but now she is teething and I think we've hit the 4 month sleep regression... Dd2 was sleeping 7pm til 7am with a quick feed at10pm (don't worry, this was never the case with dd1 so I dud my share of suffering then!) but for the last couple of weeks she has been feeding every 2 or 3 hours in the night. Zzzzzzz. Things are getting better with dd2 though, she was refusing naps, waking a lot in the night v upset, but she has had naps for the last 4 days and is happy again, hurray! We've found that getting out is a lifesaver, but that's not really been possible much in all the snow, I'm getting cabin fever...

crazypaving Tue 22-Jan-13 13:22:05

hi madmonkeys! argh 4 month sleep regression sucks. we're at 15wks and thought we'd hit it but last 2 nights haven't been too bad, fingers crossed...

I'm back in the thick of it after 10 days off. must say it sucks to be back sad I hate that every day is still such a struggle. it's hard having very little to look forward to, just the same thing day in day out. sigh.

ds2 has recently found his voice in a big way and is regularly waking ds1 which is stressful. ds1's behaviour has upped a notch and is even more challenging lately. maybe cos he's tired hmm

god I'm a moany cow. ds2's been doing gorgeous whole-face smiles and chuckles, and ds1's started to be really sweet with him, finally. although he does regularly exclaim 'oh my god ds2' loudly when ds2's crying which he must've got from me blush blush blush blush

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