Still rocking 10 month old to sleep, and he still wakes alot. Any reassurance this please?!

[redbutterfly]

Hello all
I guess I'm looking for some reassurance or advice that this will get better. We still have to rock my 10 month old to sleep. Usually we don't have to do this for very long but during the evening he will wake up to six times crying, usually because he has turned himself over onto his stomach, or for other reasons unbeknown to me and we have to go in pick him up and rock him until he stops crying and goes back to sleep again.
By about midnight he goes into deep sleep and if we are lucky he will sleep through until
6am but he still wakes once or twice a night.

He's not a massive eater at the moment and is formula fed, loves his milk.

I have not done the controlled crying because i cannot bear to hear the incosolable type of crying so have just continued to rock as some days it's easy. However I've been having physio treatment on my back as he's getting heavy and i guess i just don't know how to get him out of this habit of continuously waking up crying and needing to be rocked back.

There is the odd occasion where we hear a short cry on the monitor and then he puts himself back to sleep but i guess i just want to hear from people who have had similar experiences and for whom things just changed one day.

Look forward to hearing from you :-)

[SamSmalaidh]

It does get better - my 2 year old has recently started sleeping through 8pm-7am about 50% of the time

If you want to stop rocking maybe try pick-up/put-down. Once they can fall asleep without help their night time sleep does improve ime.

[redbutterfly]

Hey thanks. I've literally just been lying with him on my bed since 9pm. It was the only thing that worked! Im not sure i can rock him till he's 2 years old though! :-)......
Im not a strong person and he's getting heavier...it also makes an evening very tiring ...in and out of his room all the time. Me and hubby take turns but it's not great when you're in the middle of Enders lol.... :-)

[QTPie]

Have you tried hand holding or stroking or back patting (whilst in the cot) and shushing - much less stress in the back and, when you want to, you can slowly move away and out the door). If you want to change from rocking, you are likely to find some "resistance", but (initially) it is about finding another method of comforting him (that doesn't knacker your back).

QT

[QTPie]

(am suggesting that because "pick up, out down" can be murder on the back too - tried, but couldn't do it :( )

[SamSmalaidh]

I found with pick-up/put-down I only had to really do it once (eg. 1 hour the first night) then the second night 15 minutes and by the third night I could just pat him in his cot.

[QTPie]

Try to keep him in his room, if you can: so that is where he feels comfortable and happy sleeping.

We put a spare mattress, duvet and pillow in DS's room next to his cot (he had very dusruoted sleep during teething - 13-19 months): both for settling to sleep and to comfort him during the night, one of us would go in and hold his hand. He knew "we were there" (which comforted him), but we were comfortable and could even sleep. At 19 months he snapped out of teething and consistently slept through again. Then we used Suoernanny's "sleep Seperation" technique to slowly get out of the room.

Still have the mattress next to his bed: jus for the very occasional night of teething/illness/jet lag (DS 2 years 8 months).

[redbutterfly]

Thanks QT. Have tried the patting on the back but the crying becomes the type when he's really really upset, he doesn't like being woken up from deep sleep like his mummy. But i don't understand why it happens six or seven times in one evening!
So ssh patting etc tends not to work because he's so upset.

What is the pick up, put down method exactly?


We do keep him in his room and just go in when he cries. By the way he's still in our bedroom as we have a small flat. Teething has played a big part but the first four are out now so that seems to have calmed down.

Our flat is also very very hot (long story) so sometimes i think it's because of that but i thought he might be used to it by now....

Im also anaemic so sometimes im just too tired to sway him back to sleep and that's when it all gets too much and you want to cry :-(

Know what i mean?

[QTPie]

Oh dear :(

No, they probably don't really get used to being too hot. What clothes/bedding does he sleep in? Can you open the window?

Teething is likely to be fairly continuous for the next year - one way or another. Some babies are effected more than other's, but mine found the 4 first molars and 4 canines far worse than the front teeth. Also bare in mind that often teething can be painful before there are physical signs.

He just sounds like an upset boy who is in the habit of being rocked to sleep. Doing anything else will upset him (because it isn't what he is used to), it is finding something as kind as possible, that doesn't hurt your back and sticking with it for a few nights (how long it takes to change habits).

Are you taking something for your anemia?

[redbutterfly]

Sam, how exactly do we do the pick up put down method?

[QTPie]

Google brings up a wealth of information, advice and forums on PIPD - ie www.sleepytot.com/category/blog/pick-put-down

[redbutterfly]

QT, re the temperature, luckily we aim to move in a year's time as OH has just been made redundant so we've had to put plans on hold. We sometimes just put him in a vest or a babygro on its own and sometimes a 1 tog sleeping bag.
It's not ideal, i was stressing so much before he was born but we live above 3 boiler generators for our flat. And the radiators are so old we can't turn them down. We can't open the window because we live in south London and the sirens wake him up so we keep the windows open before bed time and cool the room.

Yes you're right re habit. Sometimes i think it's my fault for getting him into this habit but it just happened this way and when you're a first time mum you do anything to get them to sleep !!!!!

Am taking iron tablets...yuk

[SamSmalaidh]

Basically rock/soothe DC until they are sleepy but not asleep and then put them down - you can stroke/pat/shush in the cot.
If they get upset you can pick them up again, but the moment they calm down put them back in the cot.
Repeat til they fall asleep!

The first night I did it with DS it did take a long time with lots of crying, but he fell asleep lying down in his cot without being fed or rocked. Second night was much quicker only having to pick him back up a few times. Third night I shushed/patted him in the cot.

[QTPie]

Nasty. Can you not turn the radiators off? They should/must have a shut off valve. Are you renting? Contact the landlord/agency to turn it off.

We all use what we can to get them asleep - it is just breaking the habit and moving onto a new one (often no easy way to do it, unless they naturally grow out of it). Not your fault, but you may have to bare some resistance from your DC whilst you change his habit....

I took Iron tablets too - caused all sorts of "problems". If you have "problems", then take lactulose too (helps a lot!). I now take an iron liquid instead -currently ferroglobin (a lot more "gentle") - but it depends how anaemic you are.

[redbutterfly]

Sam - thanks! I will try your method and let you know! I've not been patient enough before but i think needs must! He's a stubborn little thing but I know breaking the habits can take days or even weeks so got to stick with it!!!

QT.....I did have "problems" before with previous iron tablets but these ones are different and had no problems at all! Will try the liquid ones though as they seem more pleasant. Don't know how long they the to have a proper effect though...have been taking them a month...but forget some days.

Can't turn the communal radiator valve off as the whole block would need to be turned off and the radiator valve itself is so old they are stuck!!! Long boring story........I won't bore you with it but yes I guess I could ask the landlords to turn off the communal supply and get a plumber to see if he can cut off the supply......


Am now waiting to tackle dinner time....DS has not been eating anything i make so am going to try to all eat together with DH too and see if that works!!! Otherwise all he will eat is fruit pots, bananas and toast!!!!

[BlueberryHill]

Red it is awful when they don't sleep and at 2 / 3/ 4 am in the morning I remember doing anything to get them to sleep. I used Tanya Bryons book, Your baby, your way for guidance. It helped me getting DS1 off to be able to sleep through.

We held him to get him off to sleep, so when he woke in the night and wanted to get back to sleep we had to hold him. Her advice if I remember correctly was to get them to go to sleep by themselves in the daytime first and not worry about the night. Babies at that age cannot tell the difference between different methods at different times so don't worry about inconsistency. Once they have got the hang of that, do it at night too, but once you start keep going and choose a time when you can do that, so not when work is stressful or you are ill for example.

I used a sort of controlled crying, settled him, said goodnight etc when just going off to sleep and put him down. If he cried I went back every 5 mins or so, I didn't bother extending it out as I found that DS just got more and more upset and then wouldn't sleep and it stressed me out. I listened to his cries to work out if he was settling or getting more wound up, if the latter, I went back resettled etc and tried again.

Relax with the food. eating all together is a great idea.

[QTPie]

Honestly - disrupted sleep AND not eating - does sound like teething (even if no physical signs of it yet - often the bit just before can be more painful than breaking rough the surface...)