Friends who smoke in their houses

[swedishmum]

Am I being over protective? Dd went to see a friend last week (new school so new friend - she's 10) after school. First I was a bit surprised when she said the mum hadn't turned up to collect them so they'd walked home. Then dd went for takeaway with the dad - I saw them come back. She had a seatbelt on but was holding a toddler unrestrained on her knee (someone else's baby apparently). When she came back I had to leave her clothes outside overnight because they were so smoky. I know we all have different parenting styles but not sure what to do. The little girl is lovely (not much in common with dd though)but not keen on dd being there. What would you do or am I over reacting?

[katyp]

Frankly I'd move schools again rather than let my child go there again. Do you live in the UK? I'm only asking because I'm at the unrestrained toddler (not that it doesn't happen here I know)

[smellyzebra]

Lots of deaths/bad health from smoking-related illnesses in my family, so easy for me to be black-and-white about it. Absolutely no way I'd let my DD go back around there again, at least not until she's 13 or so when there would probably be much bigger issues to deal with. Invite this other child to yours in the meantime.

[dejags]

Agree with smellyzebra.

[Socci]

omg - there is no way I would let my children go to a house where people smoke inside - don't think you're over reacting at all.

[swedishmum]

I won't let her visit there again obviously. Her other friends all have smoke free houses fortunately. I just feel a bit sorry for the little girl, particularly at the age of wanting sleepovers.

[notasheep]

Invite dds friend round to your house.

You say you wont let her visit there again-that sounds harsh! Do you know anything about these parents apart from the fact that they are smokers?
Or are they now doomed regardless!!

[paolosgirl]

No, I'd not be happy at her going round there. First of all, the mum didn't pick them up. Secondly, they think it's OK for a toddler to be in a car without a seatbelt on, and thirdly, they think it's OK to smoke in the house when there are children around. Nope - not the kind of parents I'd want to have much to do with. I'd try and let the friendship drift, or invite the girl round to yours.

[swedishmum]

Notasheep
Apart from the smoke (I am asthmatic and it is a trigger for me) it was the fact that the mum hadn't picked them up from school as she had fallen asleep on the sofa, and the fact that dd was asked to put a toddler on her knee in the car for a journey that included motorway, plus as I was due to collect her at a set time they could have saved me a 25 min return journey by phoning me. The junk food, fizzy drinks and sweets I can live with.

[jmum6]

Totally agree - wouldn't let my child go back there but would invite the friend back to ours.

[FrannyandZooey]

The thing about the toddler is it is not just the toddler that's at risk (assuming that the mum of that child didn't mind in the first place). An unrestrained person in an accident flies around the car and ends up injuring others, possibly killing them. They have put your dd in a very dangerous situation. :(

[SorenDeLorensen]

No, I wouldn't let my dd go there again - but I'd ask her friend back to your house, as it seems a shame for the girl to be penalised for having irresponsible parents.

[notasheep]

Sounds like they may need a Family Support Worker