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How do I deal with the subject of death with dd 2.10?

8 replies

onefootinthegravy · 11/01/2006 15:48

We had our elderley cat, Archie. put to sleep in September. At the time I told dd that he had gone on his holidays and left it at that.TBH I was quite distraught myself so I probably didnt explain it well enough, but she seemed to except this and it was left at that.
However, she has started asking when he's coming back, and that he is a long time at the seaside, and now has told me she wants to go and see him.
dd is 3 in march not sure where to go next with this
Help please!!

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onefootinthegravy · 11/01/2006 20:08

Anyone?

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tissy · 11/01/2006 20:09

Get "Goodbye Mog" it's about a cat dieing- perfect!

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daisy1999 · 11/01/2006 20:14

just make sure she doesn't end up thinking that if you go to the seaside you die! Kids get very confused. Although come to think of it there are a lot of old people living by the sea

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FrannyandZooey · 11/01/2006 20:42

I would now explain that Archie was old, tired etc. and that his body was too worn out to go on working, so he has died (or whatever word you feel happy with). The Goodbye Mog book is lovely but maybe a little confusing as a first way to explain death, as it shows Mog coming back to visit the family as a ghost / spirit. Your dd may wonder why she can't see Archie coming back.

I posted about this recently as my ds is the same age as your dd and our neighbour died. I am still putting off telling him but am going to try to keep it simple and quite clear. Harder to do when you feel emotional about it yourself I think.

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Meanoldmummy · 11/01/2006 20:43

rofl daisy

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Hallgerda · 12/01/2006 08:18

"Fred" by Posy Simmonds is another excellent book about the death of a cat. IIRC he doesn't come back as a ghost.

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tensing · 12/01/2006 10:24

Tell her that archie was very old, and has gone to live in Heaven were he will never feel old or tired again.

My mother told me this when a much loved dog died when I was about 2 and half and I always had images of him and other pets that we lost over the years all in heaven playing together happily.

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onefootinthegravy · 12/01/2006 10:26

Thanks for your suggestions, will try the book.
I know this is going to come up again soon, as Grandma's dalmation is on his last legs and dd is very fond of him too, it'll be a sad time again.