Those difficult-to-answer questions children ask, what are yours?

[WideWebWitch]

My 4yo ds has recently asked me the following questions, which I thought were sweet and funny and often impossible to answer! Anyone got any others?

• Do you think Bob The Builder wears Bob The Builder pants? (ds does!)
  
• Do dung beatles eat their own dung? (said I thought probably not, but wasn't sure)
  
• How long is 2 and a half hours? (I said "the length of time you are at nursery"

[Tinker]

Ooooh I love these! Have recently had from my 4 year old:

• What's the biggest number? (there isn't one - you can always add 1 to any number you think of)
  
  
• Do I believe in God? (Tricky for an atheist mother from a kid going to a state school which still apparently indoctrinates - very woolly answer that I didn't but lots of people do blah, blah blah)
  
  Actually, it's the smart answers that are catching me out now.

[robinw]

message withdrawn

[WideWebWitch]

Star it's 803,912

[WideWebWitch]

that reminds me Rozzy, my ds asked me on a crowded train "has that man just been for a poo?" when the man sitting opposite us disappeared for a while!! He probably had, but I was red in the face! And no Star, that wasn't off the top off my head

[Hilary]

Do Teletubbies have willies?
Why has he (ds) got hair?
Why are you (Mummy)a girl?
Does Bob the Builder sit on a potty or a big toilet?
The most embarrassing one was in a loo in Ottakers - ds was on his potty near the sinks and we could quite audibly hear the occupant of the only cubicle doing a wee. Ds said loudly, 'What's that noise?' to which I replied 'I don't know darling' and changed the subject quickly, to which ds said even louder, 'it's someone doing a wee!' The poor lady then had to emerge from the cubicle, a little embarrassed, to be stared at by my 3 year old ds who, thankfully, didn't say anything else!

[Marina]

We are getting a lot of why questions at the moment. How do you answer

• Why pigeons?
  
• Why breakfast?
  
  without getting ratty or philosophical?
  
  A good one at the weekend was ds spotting a pre-baby snap of mum and dad at m-i-l, and shrieking, WHERE AM I IN THAT PHOTOGRAPH? at the top of his voice.

[tiktok]

We were both in a cubicle in the ladies' loos, and there was a long queue outside. I used the loo after dd....and she said (in a loud voice, natch) 'Mummy, why have you got hairs there?'

[Azzie]

Ds (aged 4): Your Daddy's dead, isn't he?
Me: Yes.
Ds: Where did he die?
Me: At Grandma's old house.
Ds: No, which ROOM did he die in?
Me: The bedroom. He was in bed when he died.
Ds: What happened to the body?
Me: A man called an undertaker came and took the body to the funeral parlour.
Ds: That's good. You wouldn't want a smelly dead body around the house, would you Mummy?

And I thought the sex questions were going to be the tricky ones!

[ScummyMummy]

Not a question exactly but in the same sort of vein...
I was on the underground with my just toilet trained boys when one of them announced that he needed to go to the loo. Chronically underprepared as usual I had no potty or spare clothes or even a nappy. Searched desperately in my bag and found a sanitary towel. I asked if I should put it in his pants just it case he couldn't hold on...
His reaction (outraged and at the top of his high little voice): "No Mummy! That is your nappy, not mine and only Mummy's wear that sort of nappy!"

Shame.

[mollipops]

How about when it's "that time of the month" and they insist on following you to the loo...my almost 3 yr old ds was fascinated... "What that?" followed by a curious "Where that?" complete with peering...sigh Dd was much less subtle at the same age, and had a better vocab - I seem to remember questions like "What's that string for, mummy?" How are you supposed to answer these things?

I satisfied dd's curiousity at around 4 by explaining that it was something mummy's body did every month. It meant mummy could have another baby, but since I wasn't just at the moment it was getting "cleaned" ready for next month. I made sure she knew the bleeding didn't mean I was hurt or sick (even if I did have awful cramps while saying so!) and that I was okay. She seemed pretty happy with that and hasn't mentioned it since. I remember finding a tampon instruction leaflet at about age 7 or 8, complete with sketches of how to insert etc - I was horrified! How have others handled these sorts of q's?

[tiktok]

Once when ds was 5 I found a sanitary towel under his pillow!!! I asked him about it, and he said he found it in the bathroom and it was nice and soft so he liked to stroke it to help him get back to sleep! Awww!........I told him it was a special sort of thing mummies used, as they had a sort of bleed (non painful!) every month and needed to keep their pants clean - well, it's true, isn't it!

[Indie]

Just this weekend I have been asked by 4yo dd,
Do dead people poo and wee?
When is it kiddies day? (as opposed to Mother's Day etc)
Is that man going to die becasue he is smoking?(said loud enough for the person to hear!)
and as far as sanitary protection goes . . . last year on holiday 3 yo dd was discovered to be wearing a panty liner when taken for an emergency pee stop beside the road by dh! Had seen me use them after birth of ds and decided that she was "wearing one as she too was having a baby" - couldn't get the thing off her!

I remember my Mother saying tampons were used to keep the toes apart while painting toe nails!

[Tinker]

Oh yes, regularly find a panty liner in my 4 yr olds knickers! She used to bend over watching me put a tampon in as well. And then she would try and do it herself with one!

Also, standing about a foot away from someone at the checkout, "Is that a man or lady?", pointing to emphasise her point.

[Inkpen]

Having recently lost both grandfathers, my son (just five) has been full of Death Questions.
Best yet was, 'Does Father Christmas die?' Me: 'No because he's magic' Ds: Well, what about the one we saw at school? (which at least proves he knew it was just some unlucky daddy roped in by the PTA and not a chuckling chap just in from the North Pole!) Also enjoyed, 'Did Grandad fall over when he died?' (clearly been watching the wrong sort of videos).
My dd (2 and a half) has recently taken to waking up and announcing, as she stumbles out of the duvet, 'xx [ds] got a willy. Daddy got a willy. I not got a willy. Mummy not got a willy.' The other day, she added thoughtfully, 'But [ds'] willy hidden in his pants.' Would these be your waking thoughts on starting a brand new day???

[mollipops]

This is such a funny thread...makes my day

I know it's a little off the subject, but I have a really cute tampon story to tell...a friend was shopping with her dd (I think she was about 3) and when she put the tampons in the trolley, dd wanted to know what they were. Feeling a bit put-on-the-spot as well as being a bit flustered already, she answered quickly "Oh they're earplugs!" and changed the subject. Later at the checkout, she's unloading the shopping and hears much giggling and laughter behind her - you guessed it! She turns around to see sweet little dd with a tampon sticking out of each ear! (Well it WAS mummy's idea, after all!)

[lulu40]

After explaning to Ds why Captain Hook was called Captain Hook ie. crocodile ate hand now hook etc he asked "what was Captain Hook called before he had a hook" that had me stumped as did "mummy are rainbows hot or cold" he's only 4 god knows how I will cope when he gets to school!!!

[Bumblelion]

When my baby was born 5 months ago, it was my DS job (aged 4) to get out a nappy, etc. when the baby was due to be changed. He also got me out new breast pads after feeding the baby. Once he came into the toilet and after seeing the new sanitary towel waiting to be placed, he looked at me and asked "why are you wearing a breast pad in your knickers?".

[Inkpen]

Today's effort was 'Why do we live in countries?' Any ideas where to start on that one? History, politics, sociology??

[WideWebWitch]

Countries is a hard one!
I've just been asked "do all mummies and daddies shout at their children sometimes?" (This after I shouted without meaning to and promptly apologised).

I really, really, really hope the answer is yes

[Azzie]

"Why are the Simpsons yellow?"

[Hilary]

'Why do I have nails?' (the rest of the supermarket queue couldn't really answer either!)
'Why don't boys have their nails pretty like ladies?'
'Why do I like rice crispies?'