Mother's Day

[meadow]

It?s my 2nd Mother?s day today and what did I receive ? NOTHING. Husband didn?t even say ?Happy MD?. I waited until 4pm today when he came into the living room to watch football and said to him ?well??. His response, ?well what? You don?t deserve anything. Don?t think you?re getting anything after the way you carried on yesterday?. I went into the bedroom where dd was sleeping and cried.


What did I do yesterday ? I shouted at dd (aged 22 months) for not eating her lunch. My exact words to her were ?why won't you eat anything? and I walked out of the kitchen. Husband was sitting at the kitchen table when I shouted.

So, I suppose I am the only person to ever raise my voice at my child. I didn?t know I had to be on my best behaviour before today in order to enjoy today and even possibly receive a small token of appreciation for doing one of the most demanding jobs 24/7.

[leese]

Meadow - I'm bloody mad on your behalf - if I could I'd clonk that husband of yours on the head - try and knock a bit of sense into him. I can't BELIEVE he said what he said to you - you must be a remarkable lady to have stayed calm in front of him.
If all you said to your dd was "why won't you eat anything?", I think that shows calm resolve and nothing more. I get to that stage every single day at the moment, tho' I fear I don't sound as calm as you. Cheer up Meadow - we're all on your side on this one. You sound like a no. 1 mum. three cheers for Meadow, and a big Mothers Day pat on the back......

[Ems]

meadow, Happy Mothers Day, and dont worry, just wait until dd goes to playgroup/nursery/school and you will get made some little gems of cards etc, from her and not him, much more important and special. Majority of men just dont get it!

I would just ignore June's fathers day when it comes, and have extra special hugs with dd this evening before bedtime.

[Selja]

Unbelievable, how you stayed calm and didn't shout at your husband I'll never know. I was lucky as my best friend sent me a mothers day card the first year just in case dh forgot. Ems is right when dd goes to nursery/playschool you'll get loads of cards/paintings and it'll be a job deciding which ones to keep and which ones to chuck. Happy Mother's Day meadow.

[SueW]

Yes, Happy Mother's Day Meadow.

I stuck gold for the first time this year - it's been a non-event for every year so far except last year when DD's kinder ensured I got a potted plant.

This year though DH is away and I didn't expect much (not that he's any good at arranging stuff when he's here) - but school came up trumps and she had made two cards. DD announced yesterday that breakfast in bed was just the thing for mum on Mother's Day so last night we got a couple of croissants out of the freezer and this morning she got up at 7am, came downstairs, spread them with luxury Belgian choc spread and brought breakfast upstairs for herself and me. She managed two glasses of water too.

Just after lunch a bouquet arrived, organised by DH. I was gobsmacked to say the least.

I'm sorry your husband has upset you. What a pig awful thing to say. You know your daughter loves you - concentrate on that.

[meadow]

Thanks everyone for your messages, you?ve made me feel better. I am a very calm person and just haven?t bothered to speak/ cook/clean/iron for him today.

I listened to him with dd for the rest of the day, and funnily enough he raised his voice to her on several occasions, but oh no, that?s different isn?t it. I wasn?t expecting champagne or flowers, but it would have been nice if he sat with dd to scribble on a piece of paper to give to me.

I just need to tell you this ? he used the washing machine yesterday. I couldn?t believe it; I heard the machine going and was quite surprised and when I asked him what he was washing, he told me it was a pair of jeans and a jacket! The laundry basket was full of clothes and he hadn?t even bothered to have a look to fill up the machine. What a waste ? it was programmed for a full load! I know some of you will be thinking, ?at least he knows how to use it?, but I would rather he didn?t bother. He seems to think that his clothes can only be washed on their own for some reason.

I?m definitely writing of father?s day. Last year he received a card and an outfit from French Connection, which was from dd. He quickly forgot about that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person to expect presents because I've bought one, but I couldn't believe he was so mean. He obviously hadn't bought anything for me anyway and me shouting was just the perfect excuse to use on me to make me feel guilty.

[Pupuce]

Meadow - happy mother's day.
Why don't you buy some flowers tomorrow with a small card which reads "Happy mothers day mummy - thank you for taking such good care of me, sorry if the flowers are a bit late -I love you very much. xxxx"

See what he says ?!?!?!!?

I would do that if I were you!

[Lill]

Happy Mothers day to us all.

I had some treats that the children had made at school/pre school. dh helped them bring me breakfast in bed but in reality its pretty much a normal day. I think and I hope that it will all mean a little more to all of us when the little darlings are a bit older.

I enjoy being there for my mum now!

[Joe1]

Meadow, belated mothers day, miserable thoughtless sod doesnt he realise just a card and a bunch of daffs would have meant the world. Write of Fathers day without a doubt.

I had a lovely day, gourmet Mcdonalds breakfast, a pamper box from the body shop, a 'What to expect from toddlers' book and a lovely memory book which dh had cut up photos of ds to put on every page, which made me cry when I looked through it. He never forgets and always does something special, I am very lucky. I didnt have to do anything and he made a lovely roast for dinner. I think he deserves extra cuddle tonight after reading meadows post. Ds picked me a daffodil on Friday which has pride of place on the mantlepiece.

[meadow]

Woke up this morning and what did I see - a bottle of champagne and box of chocolates. Why did he make me suffer like that? I didn't feel anything when I saw them, as it's a bit late now isn't it. (Doesn't mean I won't enjoy them when I eventually curl up on the sofa stuffing my face!)

Anyway can't wait when dd starts bringing her pieces of artwork home to me.

[Joe1]

Touch of guilt there I think. You enjoy those chocolates and champagne you deserve it.
Ds made a fathers card last year at toy library, with a little help from mummy, and dh loved it so I know you will love all those hand made cards. Have a chilled day today.

[Pupuce]

So he isn't all THAT bad... mabe you can try to have a chat about it today ? It doesn't need to be an argument and you might want to start by saying how pleased you were with the chocolates ?
Communication is really important - don't build to much resentment... also you might want to discuss your worries about your daughter's lack of appetite. See if together you can help her without you feeling all the worries !

[bin]

Bit late but... I had the best ever mothers day yesterday BECAUSE ds did it all himself for the first time and he went on all day about doing everything for me while I relaxed. He did flowers card and baking all via school but the way he presented me with them and the way he was so concerned about making sure I had a lovely mothers day right up to bedtime really made the last 5 years of mothers day sink into insignificance as this was the first time he did it all himself and not because dad chose what to buy etc etc. So just wait til they do it just for you by themselves then it REALLY IS SPECIAL! So meadow just think what your dd would have said if only she could!

[Rhubarb]

Happy Mother's Day to all! Meadow - you really should try and talk to your dh about how you feel. If you neglect Father's Day, then he will do the same to you next year and so it will carry on. Men often don't stop to think about how we feel, so we have to tell them. As for the washing machine, well I'm not that surprised, it's not that they're thoughtless, they just never stop to think!

I didn't get anything this Mother's Day or the last one. He says dd is too young at 18 months to do anything for me and that I know she loves me so that should be appreciation enough. It would have been nice if he had made something with her, a picture or something. I don't expect presents. But he said I got a card on my birthday in February and a Valentine's Day card, so I can't expect another one!

But he's right in a way, when she's old enough she will make me something I'm sure, for now I should just appreciate her love.

[meadow]

He came home from work (starts work v. early) and said I still didn't deserve them! He said I should appreciate the finer things in life and I should know what he is taking about!!! Excuse me, what planet is he on? There's no point discussing it as its Monday and he has a face like thunder.

[WideWebWitch]

Just a quick thought: isn't the whole day just a cynical commercial event sponsored by Hallmark?

No offence meant anyone

[winnie]

www couldn't agree more... although I do have a box full of things provided by dd over her twelve years of life and just as I cherish her first attempts at making things, her lupin plant for my garden bought out of pocket money (the first bought present off her own back) will be tenderly loved and cherished too!

Meadow, definately forget fathers day!!!

[Marina]

wickedwaterwitch, it could be seen that way, I agree - but in our house we tend to the Winnie philosophy outlined earlier. It is also a cause for celebrating "Mother Church" in the C of E and as it is also Refreshment Sunday (midway through Lent), you get more cheerful music and a bit of a let-off from penitence. I take that to mean a day off from no chocolate...

[winnie]

Marina, I can't believe that yesterday was the one day in lent that one could have what one had given up for lent!!!!!!!! I've never heard of that (Or are you winding us up?) Am desperate for a bar of Green & Blacks but shall have to wait for my Easter Egg!!!

[manna]

meadow - what is your dh trying to achieve here? It sounds like point scoring to me. I would say he's the childish one, not your dd. Does he always communicate like this? does he think it's acceptable to be vile just because it's monday?

[AnnieMo]

Spare a thought for those who have lost a baby or child -Mother's Day can be particularly tough. After I lost a baby some years ago Mother's Day, and the run up to it, was torture - on the day I just shut myself in and hid. I now have two wonderful children but that particular day (along with other anniversaries etc) does have a sadness as I remember the other baby I was also a mum to.

[SueDonim]

Indeed, Annie Mo, and spare another thought for motherless children. A woman I know died recently, leaving three children aged about nine, seven and 2.5 yrs. Yesterday must have been terrible for them.

[debster]

My ds spent most of Mothers Day telling me that he didn't like me any more and that he wasn't my friend. Ended up crying in the bathroom...bleeding pregnancy hormones! I did get a lovely hand made card from dp though.

Meadow - I wonder if your dh was ready to give you the champers and chocs yesterday but got upset and then realised he couldn't back down (you know what men are like). Sounds like he's making amends. Hope things are better today.

[meadow]

Things are back to normal (i.e. everything ok). I know I'm a very good mother and told him so. As far as I'm concerned he probably had the male version of PMT!