Tipping at Christmas?

[wendym]

Do you give money/presents do people who are involved with your child at Christmas and if so who and what (gift or cash)? I usually get something for nursery/teacher/sunday school teacher but not e.g. gym or swimming club. This is partly because I'm nagged about some but not others. What do other people do?

[jessi]

wendym, what do you give your childs nursery teachers? I have been wondering what to do, there are five at my childs nursery and don't have a clue what I should give them. Any ideas would be gratefully received. Thanks.

[Paula1]

At Christmas I tend to buy the nannies at my son's Nursery a present (hat and scarves last year, silver jewellry this year), when he moves 'up' a class I give the Nannies £50. I have no idea whether what I do is right or wrong, but they always seem pleased (not sure if they would show it if they weren't pleased though)

[Lil]

Paula no wonder your nannies are pleased, you sound very generous! The cost of our nursery is so high that I don't feel inclined to supplement the nannies with cash. Mind you the money probably goes to the company not them, but that's not my fault!

I only do chocolates at xmas, someone tell me is this too mean???

[TigerMoth1]

How can yummy chocs ever be mean? Avoid only if the recipient is extremely weight conscious, whether dieting or not.

I tend to buy a selection of small gifts - chocs, candles, picture frames, all costing between £3.00 £7.00. I wrap them, but do not label them, so I can easily find a gift if I am given one unexpectedly. Also, if any babysitter gives my sons what looks like a very big gift (one babysitter bought gifts for dh and I as well as our two children)I can give them two or more gifts instead of one.

I always top up my babysitters last evening wage before christmas. My son's childminder will definitely get a nice gift, and her two other charges, my toddler's playmates, will get a toy each. My son's school teacher and Beaver troup leader, who has spent whole days with my son on camping activities, are also on my list.

I would not give a present to his drama teacher - my son only spends an hour or two with him as part of a group, and unlike the voluntary Beavers, the drama teacher is paid.

Any groups, like nursery nannies, would get a big box of chocolates to share.

[sjs]

Aren't people amazingly kind - don't know what the answer is but if they have kids themselves, they might expect a small gift in return. If they don't have kids, reckon I'd give them a Christmas Card, send them a thank you note in the NY, saying how much baby loved the gift, and perhaps take in cookies, Xmas Cake left overs or spare chocs in the NY to share with them and other colleagues.
I've just been to a baby group today where one of the babies gave all the other babies a present (but none of the other babies did.) Think I'm just going to send out Xmas Cards as I'd planned to, but do you think I should send a small gift to that baby? What would you expect?

[Ems]

We got teacher a scarf, wanted to avoid eaties, (how many home-made biscuits can they eat?!) yet got creche of other son a big box of M&S biscuits, for them all to share. Eldest has 1-to-1 swimming lessons, so we got the teacher some smelly fun shower gel.

I think, the thought is really what counts, sometimes the wackier the better when it's the childs own idea.

Nursery girls I used to get Body Shop sets, always gratefully received.

I only give cash to the postman!

[Bugsy]

I'm giving my childminder a food hamper this year and a big bunch of flowers, plus gifts for her children. Baby sitter will be getting big bunch of flowers. Cleaner & window cleaner get one extra weeks pay.
I also have a small stash of emergency gifts: picture frames, small vases, smellies ready wrapped that I can just grab in case of emergency.

[Inkpen]

As the child of a one-time primary school teacher, we used to looove Christmas! All those boxes of chocs that mum brought home! She, however, had allergies to smelly things and got migraine from too much choc ... so I am paranoid about what to give now I'm in the parent position. For nursery in the past, I've tried continental stuff that might be a bit luxury - Italian biscuits, Panettone etc.

[Rhiannon]

My little boy gave his teacher a bottle of wine with a £10 Next voucher attached (again I didn't know how much to give and didn't want it to look like bribery!). I've had a hint hint Christmas card from the postman and the papergirl! I'll also give to Squirrel and Owl and all the other animals at Beavers and to the teachers at my little girls nursery but there are 8 of them so I think they'll get a big tin of biscuits between them. R.

[wendym]

Jessi Since there are several at nursery its normally a bottle or two of wine, box of chocs or biscuits so they can share at their Christmas party (last day after we collect kids). Teachers usually get bubble bath or aromatherapy candles (the ones suitable for stressed out folk!). If they are allergic they can always give it away. This year found a box of soaps shaped like animals/birds. One teddy loving teacher got teddy bear mugs last year. Lil don't think you're mean but I see why Paula's nursery staff love her. I'm feeling a bit reassured now.

[MotherofOne]

Just been through this same dilemma and have come back from Bluewater (shopping centre in Kent for all you non-Southerners!) armed with lots of mini gift boxes of 'pampering things ' from Body Shop (costing between £5 - £10 each!) They have a nice range called things like 'Hectic Hands Kit', 'Fancy Footwork Kit & 'Heavenly Body Kit' - was only slightly perturbed when dh started debating which of the (young, attractive, under 25 yr old) nursery nurses should deserve the last of these....

Incidently, how much does anyone tip the postman? Cash or something like vouchers?

[Twink]

I give my postman and my milkman a Christmas card with a thankyou note and a tenner in it. I suspect I ought to increase it for the postman though cos he's a star - he brings packets back later on his round if he can see no-one is up to answer the door or if it's unavoidable to ring, always apologises for disturbing us. He even made a special trip with a parcel for dd because he wasn't sure which day her birthday was and didn't want it to be late !

I give the staff at nursery a big box of biscuits and a bottle of wine.

Do any of you tip the dustbin collectors ?

[Azzie]

Twink, you must live in my street or something - your postie sounds just like ours. Isn't it nice to know that there are people like that around!

[KMG]

I get chocolates for nursery teachers, and playgroup teachers, but the main thing we do is the boys give presents too. They have made up crystal bags, with lovely bows in which they have put - home-made Christmas cards, Christmas biscuits and sweets they've made, salt-dough decorations, and also a 'book', which my son wrote and illustrated, and we 'published' (photocopied and bound). This may sound very twee to some of you, but my sons (and I!) have put an enormous amount of effort into this, and particularly the book is an expression of themselves. Also, it is very much a gift FROM THEM, and I feel passionately that my children should understand and enjoy giving at Christmas, as well as receiving, but that it's not about money. These bags have been given to a variety of people, who take a special interest in my son, but to whom we would not have felt comfortable giving a present of 'monetary worth' ... such as a special library assistant, Sunday School teachers, as well as all the usual suspects. It has been great to see the genuine pleasure this has brought. My son told me today he likes giving people presents, because he enjoys making them happy.

Maybe you just think I am a very sad SAHM with nothing better to do with her time!

[Rhiannon]

My bin men get a tip nearly every week. They take all my garden rubbish,grass cuttings, tree branches, the leaves everything, they took about a skip full of junk once for a fiver. Perhaps I'll give them some Stella. R.

[Alibubbles]

I always tip the bin men, they always take extra rubbish, garden stuff, leave extra bags, and come and fetch the wheelie bins if I'm still on the school run and haven't put them out. We have a long drive to walk up but they always do it. They normally get a couple of cases of beer as well - Stella on offfer at Sainsbury's £9.99 instead of about £24 I think!

This bit's for Rhiannon - I know she loves to hear about my domestic life! ( No offence intended Rhiannon!)

The au pair is getting some warm jimjams from M&S as she's going back home for xmas, the cleaner an extra weeks wages, the car valet man will get £20, the gardener and window cleaner a case of beer. Postie comes in a van so he'll probably get a small hamper,he always signs for our weekly registered post and leaves parcels in a safe place, so we don't have to go and collect them. I'm glad the children are past primary age, it is in the school rules at the High School that present buying for teachers is discouraged from individuals, the form normally club together and get a decent pressie.

[emsiewill]

I feel terrible! We're giving everyone the salt dough (thanks star!) decorations we made - now I feel really mean. I never even considered tipping my postman - mind you, we're lucky if he bothers to turn up before 11:30, and he never seems to wear a uniform (a little suspicious, I think!). I wish I had the energy (and the goodness in my soul) to do what KMG has done, it sounds really lovely, and I'm sure it means so much more to people when they know the child has made/chosen the present themself.

[SueDonim]

You're not alone, Emsiewill - I'm staggered at the generosity here! Are you all in London/SE, because I'm not aware of such largesse in my area. The nursery mums club together and give £2 each to buy a larger joint gift for the teacher, and then small packs of bics/chocs for other helpers. I give a fiver each, which is all we can afford, to the postie and the binman, because they're so helpful and chatty.

[Alibubbles]

I think it's irrelevant how much a gift costs, it's the giving that counts. I'm sure that people appreciate anything that is given to them. I have received several hampers this year from previous clients and I know that I am just one on a list that they have sent to.
The family I used to work for just rang up a wine company every year and we all got the same impersonal gift. I appreciated those most made by the children and their mums, a plate of homemade biccies warms my heart much more than the corporate stuff I receive, infact in the a few of the hampers is stuff that we'd never want to buy or eat - I can't stnd tinned ham/pate, coconut macaroons, nougat etc! Sounds ungracious, but it sits in the cupboard until I can donate it anon to the school fete!

Give what you feel happy about and as I said, any recipient will enjoy being given a gift no matter how small. Happy christmas to you all, I off skiing at 05.15 tomorrow, on the slopes by 1pm!!

[debster]

Oh God I feel terrible. I've just given my son's key worker a card!! I'm going to have to go out at lunchtime and buy something. It didn't even occur to me to get her anything. What an old scrooge I am!

[SID]

How do you actually tip the bin men? Ours always come at about 6.30am - do you rush out in your pjs or do you leave an envelope on the top of the bin? I always think my dd's nursery gets enough of my money, though I know the staff aren't paid much. I once asked the nursery manager and she said it was easier if one general present was given, rather than individual presents.
Kmg, I don't think you're a sad SAHM, I think your presents sound lovely and the kind of thing grandparents would like to get, let alone everyone else involved with your children..

[Paula1]

You've all worried me now. I really had no idea what to give the Nannies at ds nursery. I don't know any of the other parents well enough to ask them what they give, so I just kind of guessed. I really hope that they don't think I'm trying to appear some kind of 'Lady Bountiful' or anything (although, if they've seen my N reg Metro in the car park they'll realise that it's not that at all). DS goes to Nursery full time, and it really is a fantastic Nursery with great staff who really care (and are probably paid a pittance) so I just wanted to do something nice.

[Crunchie]

This is so difficult. I went pot to get a pressie for the nanny yesterday, amy 2 1/2 yr old said it had to be pink (!) so she's got a jumper. She's only been with us about 6 weeks, so I think this is OK. Then the bin men will get £10 (tucked into a 4 pack or lager, the postboy £5 (since you can't put change (we only have 3 papers a week, and he's always late). The cleaner will get something for her kids, or maybe a huge tin of biscuits. Otherwise that's it. I was really embarrassed whne a kid at nursery last year gave all the others presents, I didn't even know all the kids names!