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One-child families

to those of you with only one child but not through choice...

3 replies

ellymae · 03/02/2009 20:03

...and particularly to those whose partners have been the reason why you only have one child, how do you come to terms with the fact that you will never have the family set up that you dreamed about?

I have always wanted 2 children, or more importantly have never wanted just one child and i have no reason to believe that years ago my DH felt any differently. We have a wonderful DD who is 22mos and in an ideal world I would love to have another child within the next year. However, DH has made it clear that he doesn't feel he is capable of having any more children and the subject is pretty much closed.

Now I am not looking for help in trying to persuade him to change his mind as he has valid reasons that I don't want to go into, I'm looking for help in how I can start to try and come to terms with his decision.

Does the pain of not being able to have more lessen over time, am I always going to be hit by reminders throughout life of the

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MrsGrahamBell · 03/02/2009 20:16

Ellymae - can't offer advice just didn't want your thread to go unanswered... I had a DH like that who eventually came round - I 'm pretty certain I would have left him otherwise - a very diffciult situation. There are lots of leovely singletons in families I know ho genuinely do not miss out from not having siblings, they tend to be very sociable and articulate.

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boccadellaverita · 03/02/2009 22:59

May I reiterate the invitation to the tea room? We're just having a night cap.

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bringonthemulledwine · 03/02/2009 23:19

I'm not sure if I am going to be much help but I wanted to post.
I also never imagined only having one child, but the my birth experience is such that I am only now coming around to thinking about another and my DS is almost 4. My husband has been wanting another for sometime and it has affected our relationship. Is there a reason why he feels he isn't capable of having more children? Did you have a horrible pregnancy / birth? Whatever his reasons his feelings may change with time.
I don't know if the pain does lessen, but there are constant reminders - mainly other people!! 'Is he your only child?' etc but if it is a decision you have come to as a couple I suppose you have to work your way through situations as they present themselves.

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