City living/rural living

[ocelot41]

DH and I are thinking of moving out of London and have found a small village/town we love. But we are worried about whether DS will be lonely.

People seem to have big broods out there and we have a lot of lovely friends (with onlies) here so DS always has at least one friend over at the weekend and sometimes several as people tend to pile over to ours for a BBQ.

He's a confident, outgoing lad and I think he will be fine. But still..I wobble. Has anyone done a big city to countryside move with an only who can share experiences/tips?

[thenightsky]

What do you call a 'small' village? A town is big in my book.

[ocelot41]

Around 2000 people but has some shops, pubs, restaurants as others from nearby villages tend to congregate there. Cracking school, active kids clubs scene, watersports lake, near to big sports arena, ten min train ride into nearest big town.

[ocelot41]

I was meaning more that its kind of on the border between village and town for me - smallish population but punches above its weight in terms of amenities. Sorry if I was unclear

[ocelot41]

I was meaning more that its kind of on the border between village and town for me - smallish population but punches above its weight in terms of amenities. Sorry if I was unclear

[thenightsky]

'small' is less than 150 inhabitants

You are talking about a population centre that will give you the same benefits as anywhere urban I think?

[ocelot41]

Ahhh... Maybe I am being a worrywart then. Been in London too long!

[thenightsky]

I've brought up my two DC in a small village (155 inhabitants at last count). Every child plays with every child and they all move as a group. The older kids look after the younger ones and they were out all day together, playing in woods, building dens etc. Many were only-ones. You get lots more in and out of each other's houses in small rural communities and parents end up being parents to the whole village of kids.

[evertonmint]

I think it is more your attitude than number of people in your vicinity which will influence things: if you are the sort who encourages friends to come round, is sociable, then that will continue in your new location once you've met new people.

We moved from London after 11 years to a large lively village similar to the one you describe. I'd say we actually know many more locals than we did in London as most friends there were old university friends. DS goes to the village school, DD to the nursery and even though we are not the most sociable people (DH and I are both a little introverted and generally prefer doing stuff as a family or with very old friends, finding making new friends a bit hard) the DCs are invited on plenty of play dates, and we reciprocate too. It has been great for all of us, and given you already are sociable I think you and DS will be absolutely fine.

FWIW we have never regretted leaving London. I love going back for a night out but don't miss the day to day at all.

[evertonmint]

I should add, nobody here bats an eyelid at onlies or large families. If your DC like each other, they get invited to play together regardless of family make-up

[CMOTDibbler]

I live in a town which is a bit smaller, and there are plenty of only children. Its a nice size as you do see the same people at the pool/park, so have random chats with people

[LalaLeona]

Hi there, just wanted to offer my perspective as a mum to one child dd7 and living in London. We were also debating whether to move to the country a year or two ago and in the end We decided against it. Firstly we are like you with a strong network of friends who's children we "borrow" on a regular basis for play dates, and also hang out together in a big group, we felt that it would be a bit traumatic for dd to lose the security of her friendship circle. If you have brothers and sisters it's much easier to start again, at a new school, to approach new people and so on, and also onlies are so close to their friends, they mean a lot to them, we just couldn't do it. Another thing is when our kids are old enough to go to school by themselves, call at friends houses etc, it is a bit easier for kids to be independent in London, they do not need to rely on us so much to get round and visit their friends when they choose and so on, also yes to the big families in the country side. I lived in rural Norfolk for some time before having Dd and in my experience I didn't meet anyone that had less than 2 kids..sorry if it all sounds a bit negative but it's just my personal opinion but you know best if your child could cope with the change. Good luck in making your decision!

[LalaLeona]

Btw, not being disparaging about the countryside, it must be wonderful for kids, I was just thinking about it in the respect of an only child already living in London..

[ocelot41]

Thanks all for your comments - will keep mulling! We are pretty sociable as a family and are totally up for asking folks over, we hope we have found a place where people do move in and out of a bit so its not too insular, and there is a good pub transport network for when DS is older and wants to be a bit more independent. I was just hesitating as he would be moving into a school when all the other children have started and has a really good base of friends here. But he is only 4- are they more adaptable younger maybe?

[UniS]

We moved from city to village (400 houses) when only son was 3. His best mate is one of a large sibling group , his class at village school is a quarter onlies while another quarter have 3 or more siblings. DS seems quite happy piling into big family life when he goes to their house while he also likes the quieter atmosphere here. He and vest mate get on with Lego projects here as they won't be disturbed by little siblings. They build garden dens at both houses and play 3 a side football at his mates house.