How can I encourage DD to play on her own

[Bangonthedoor]

So DD has just turned 2 years old and currently an only child. We do have plans to have another child in the future but it's just not happening right now.

I work part time and try to make my days off with DD count. However, as we all know there are times when we have to get on and do a few chores but DD just will not play on her own.

I give her lots of attention, play with her, get her involved in my tasks, we read do puzzles etc but when I need a short amount of time she just won't be on her own. Please, no one think I'm taking her for granted because I adore the time with her but she is just simply not comfortable being on her own. She won't watch tv on her own, play with her dollies on her own, read a book on her own, she just says "mummy do it" or "mummy join in" it breaks my heart when I have to say "in a minute darling"

Does anyone gave any tips or advice as to how to build her confidence, or is it just a phase, does it come with age?

Am I being really mean?!

[SpamTroll]

My DC didn't sleep in the daytime at that age so I got them in the habit of having quiet time. I tried to do it at the same time everyday. I'd put a movie on for them and lay out some quiet toys (jigsaws, puzzles books etc)

Then I'd refuse to interact with them. I didn't feel mean as I would play with them wholeheartedly afterwards. I never felt the need to be at my kids beck and call whenever they wanted. I think it does them good to learn to play on their own.

[Justtoobad]

I am in the same situation as you, although you sound a much better mother than me. So all I can suggest is be bad like me and while she's having breakfast put her favourite programme on (we have a computer on the kitchen table) and then run around like a mad woman doing the washing etc.
or treat it like full time work so that, I'm afraid, there is no down time when they're just happy on their own. As that's what I have and I work full time, cone home it's mummy time, bed time then I do work, then I do housework, well housework is really low down in the list.

[Rivercam]

What happens when she calls you? Do you play with her immediately? If so, she has learnt that you are at her beck and call. You need to let her play by herself, and ignore her pleas. Children don't have to be entertained all the time. Give her some toys and let her get on with it. She may say she is bored, but she will learn to entertain herself.

[3littlefrogs]

Maybe she's just not quite ready yet.
Just turned 2 is very young to expect her to play on her own (IMO)

[Bangonthedoor]

Thank you all for advice

I won't always run to her and play when she wants me, if I'm in the middle of something I'll tend to say "let me just do this and I'll be with you" but I hate saying it! It's just I'd like her not to have to ask for me to play all the time, most of the time of course I love to play with her but she just doesn't like being on her own. It makes me feel guilty that there isn't another little person in the house.

I bought her a cute playhouse for the garden for her birthday, she is really set up in the garden now with a toy lawn mower, wheel barrow, table and chairs, watering can etc but she won't play with any of it on her own.

[InvaderZim]

I have one DD who is 3.5 and it's only in the past half year that she's learned to entertain herself. (I do think starting nursery helped a lot.)

Things she'll do by herself:
*Endless stickers/drawing/colouring/Scotch tape dispensing
*Playing in the upstairs sink "washing her face" and such
*Play outside with water, mud, sand, the climbing frame

She still doesn't do imaginary play much by herself, she requires me as a prop. ;)

I was you a year and a half ago, it does get better!

[InvaderZim]

The best advice I got was to get stuck in to play with them and then say something like "be back in a minute" and literally come back in a minute, before she comes looking for you. Then gradually make the time longer and longer "I'm just going to make a cup of tea" or some such. It does help!

[crispyporkbelly]

My ds is 17 months and never wants to play with me :( I follow him around!

[ThisFenceIsComfy]

You don't have to play with your daughter all day. It doesn't make you a bad mother at all to expect her to play on her own for five minutes. At two she is old enough to play by herself for a short while and it will teach her how to use her imagination, be in control of her world and gain confidence in her own abilities.

I think you are beating yourself up and worrying that you a aren't spending every waking moment playing with her.
Give yourself a break, you sound like a lovely caring mum.

Start playing with her with something, once she is involved, get up and say you are going to do xyz. If she stops or comes to get you, it is fine to say "I'm doing so and so and I'll be there in a bit". It's not damaging her in anyway or being mean!

It might help if you spend some time each day just sitting with her but not actively playing IYSWIM. Just comment on what they are doing: "oh the red car is going down the slide, look how fast that car went wow!" etc (my DS loves cars). I think that helped my DS gain the ability to make up his own games whilst not feeling alone. Now he plays quite happily without me there.

[TiredFeet]

My son is 3.5 and not only likes but wants to play on his own now, but at 2 he never did. Its still quite young for that I think.

He would often play around me though, so I would sort of play with him and do a chore at the same time, and then he would go longer periods without wanting input from me.

[Yika]

I also think 2 is young to play on their own. I had the same feelings of overwhelm when my DD was 2. After she turned 3 she very gradually started to play on her own. By around 3.5 she was going into her room, closing the door and keeping me out. She's now 3.7 and I get half an hour to myself every so often. :) I do wish I had another for her to play with though!

[SpamTroll]

I have just reread your OP and my earlier posts. I missed the bit where you said your DD had just turned 2 . That is young to play on her own. My advice about quiet time is for older kids.

[Daveface]

Give her 6 more months I think and she will be more able to do that. 2 is a little too young.

[Dizzywhore]

Like everyone has said 2 is very little to play on her own. My DD is almost 3 and still doesn't. I get her to help me with housework. It takes a lot longer but it keeps her busy while I get on and it makes it more fun for us both, most of the time! I also give her telly time when I need to do things she can't help with.