Finding friends for only child

[Basketofchocolate]

Had a chat to DS (5yrs) this evening and he told me that he has been playing on his own for the past few weeks as the kids he usually plays with are into a particular game right now that he doesn't really know or care for.

He seems ok playing on his own - said he wasn't sad but he would prefer to play with others.

He's an only child, has no friends outside school (not been in the area that long and we don't have any friends locally either, let alone with kids the same age) and we don't get to see the far away friends more than a couple of times a year, if that. No cousins.

Should I worry??

I have looked for local clubs, but it seems that this is the last term and so starting in September seems to be better.

[Rivercam]

A lot of places run holiday courses - maybe sign him for something he is interested in.

[Misfitless]

I don't think you should worry. If he's not sad, then I think he's being resourceful and self sufficient by playing by himself - it's a good skill.

I'd get his name on the waiting list for Beavers if you think he would enjoy it - I can't recommend it enough, but it's not everyone's cup of tea.

My DD has times when she doesn't play with others at playtime, although she's Y1 and this happens less often than it did in YR. After a while of me asking her who she had played with today, and her telling me "I haven't played with anyone," I became quite concerned.

I was reassured though, when she told me that if she doesn't like the games other people are playing, she just plays with Sparkle.

Apparently, Sparkle is her imaginary rainbow coloured unicorn...they have all kinds of amazing adventures! It might just be, that whilst you picture him kicking a stone around the playground, shoulders slumped, he's having amazing imaginary adventures.

[Basketofchocolate]

He does have quite the imagination and plays happily on his own at home.
apparently he plays on the scooters at school, so he is doing something at least.
I can see that he would rather not play if it is not his thing-totally get that as it is me all over, but worry that he'll not learn useful friend making skills.
Am hopeful for beavers, but diet realise might need name down so will check that out tomorrow-thanks for tip.

[Basketofchocolate]

He does have quite the imagination and plays happily on his own at home.
apparently he plays on the scooters at school, so he is doing something at least.
I can see that he would rather not play if it is not his thing-totally get that as it is me all over, but worry that he'll not learn useful friend making skills.
Am hopeful for beavers, but diet realise might need name down so will check that out tomorrow-thanks for tip.

[Basketofchocolate]

He does have quite the imagination and plays happily on his own at home.
apparently he plays on the scooters at school, so he is doing something at least.
I can see that he would rather not play if it is not his thing-totally get that as it is me all over, but worry that he'll not learn useful friend making skills.
Am hopeful for beavers, but diet realise might need name down so will check that out tomorrow-thanks for tip.

[liz98]

Hi a lot of what you describe is similar to my DS. He spends quite a lot of time playing on his own until he susses situations or people out. I agree with the other comments, he's showing self sufficiency and is happy. I guess it's when they're not happy with the situation that you have to step in. We moved to a new area and DS started school knowing no one last September. Have you thought about asking some friends round for play after school? I tried that and it's helped a lot, it wasn't particularly easy, i had to pluck up courage and I didn't get far with some, but we've both made friends through doing this. Some mums have said they feel bad not being able to invite him back but I was honest and said because I have the one to look after it's easier for us, and they seemed to understand. There are a couple of other mums with onlies and they have also said it's nice to.do this as it gives the kids company. Also agree about beavers and clubs - we have name on beavers waiting list.

[Basketofchocolate]

Thanks Liz98.

Most of his class seem to have horde of siblings, or the parents pick up more than one child and we only wait for the one class, separate from the rest of the school (due to school design) so might be easier next year when everyone is mixed together a bit more.

We live further from others, so play dates a bit harder as we don't walk in the same direction as most others, which I think is off putting for busy parents as we aren't easily as up the road.

Trouble is knowing who to invite back when he is not really playing with anyone!

Have found a beavers nearby so hoping someone will call me back to go on the list.

[verap]

Yes, I have a similar problem - especially as I am working full time so I don't do school runs. I just try to take her to different parks, groups, etc. Also there are lots of Mum Groups on Facebook....

[BettyButterchops]

Maybe you could ask the teacher who he gets on with- maybe have a coffee & cake at yours for the mums and kids with pretext of it being crafts / treasure hunt / picnic- sort of a party without the formality. I made a few mum cards too and have them handy for giving out with my number on and let folk know I can happily have little ones over for tea if they are stuck- or just to play. I'm quite blatent about saying that it's nice for my ds to have someone to play with and it's no trouble tohave another over- though mums with more than 1 never beleive you! Playing on thier own is a good skill- I wish mine would more, so it's great yours is into his toys and play. I see ds struggle to feel included into groups or siblings sometimes and try to equip him with some 'ice breakers'- hi my name's .... what's yours? Are you into turtles/ star wars? etc. This has worked quite well for us whilst out and about. And I tell him all the time how much I love him :) Persevere. Eventually you find people to hang out with - it took us a few years but worthwhile waiting for the right people you both feel comfy with. x