Hi everyone this is my first time posting in this section. My DH and I have one child, a ds aged 5 months. Between the two of us we have her hereditary conditions; DH has a congenital heart disease and I have autism.
Our little boy was born with no problems (obviously too young to know if he will have autism, but DHs heart condition was thankfully not passed on)As much as we love him he is a handful. DH is limited in what he can do physically (will be more of a problem when he's a toddler) and my autism naturally creates social limitations for me.
We are loving being parents but we both decided that we definitely want can cope with just one child. In fact, giving our circumstances, we are both overjoyed to have our lovely healthy son, and this is more than what we could ever want.
But friends and family keep butting in with inane comments such as "when are you having another? You can't leave ds on his own he needs someone to play with when he's older."
"An only child's a lonely child"
"It's cruel to just have one child"
As far as I'm aware:
1, it's nobody else's business how many children me and DH decide to conceive, or rather not to conceive.
2, you don't have to have siblings to have company- that's what friends and other family members are for.
3, last time I checked it wasn't against the law or classed as child abuse to have just one child.
And lastly 4, these people are not in our situation, they do no have a disability/autism, and therefor don't know how difficult it is for us and should therefor keep their mouths closed :)
I am just getting so sick of hearing this over and over. How does it affect anybody else in any way? It doesn't! DH and I are incredibly thankful and happy to have our lovely boy and that's all we need. Does anybody else have dealings with people like this? How do you cope?
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One-child families
"An only child's a lonely child" fed up to the back teeth of this!!
MoveYourArmsLikeHenry · 29/11/2013 21:50
Oh dear. You are free to make your own choice, OP, and all your reasons are perfectly valid.
I think it is nobody's business how many children you choose to have! Either apply the old "smile and nod" and let it wash over you or think of a suitable reply that will shut people up. I personally like "we got it right first time" 
, but the lots of cousins answer is equally good. Just don't discuss it! Totally rude to even comment.
You can have sex more than once?!? seems an appropriate response to me, too
Move
Ignore it
I have 1 DS and your points 1 - 3 are spot on (I can't comment on 4 but it sounds well reasoned and valid to me )
BTW not all siblings get on famously . I didn't particularly with mine and am not as close to them as I am to certain friends . It varies. What to me what important was encouraging DS to make friends and giving him the opportunity to do so. So eg he went to a nursery when I worked , not a Nanny. We were open for sleepovers when he wanted them. We sometimes tried to go on holiday same place as one of his friends whose parents we are friends with so he had someone to play with . And if we went on holiday alone he was always encouraged eg by the pool - if someone wants to see your water gun or whatever , show it to him and ask him if he wants to play - or go up to him and ask.
I think it's a mindset.
My line - similar to PPs was 'DS is so fantastic we daren't risk having another and lowering the average 
goodness, these people sound very rude. We just have DD, not out of choice (many MCs) but there it is. No-one has ever said anything like this (she's 4 now), certainly family and close friends are aware of why we just have DD and would never be so crass as to say anything like this. DH is one of 4 and his mum dotes on the GC but even she wouldn't say this, knowing our history (I wouldn't put it past her if she didn't, but she wouldn't harp on about it or say it insensitively).
No idea what you should say, other than 'fuck off and stop being such a dick' which might not be the most diplomatic way to go .
The most sickening comment I saw (on MN a year or so ago) was "don't have one ... what if s/he died, you'd be broken hearted.
This was to women who were ttc with miscarriage or infertility issues who might only be able to have one. The poster was deadly serious and really couldn't see how it was offensive to either the "spare" sibling or to the parent. 
My father has told me that I should either have more (I have aps so might not be able to) OR get loads of promotions at work as soon as she's at school. Like one child males me lazy and it's "easy" ... yeah all those miscarriages and postnatal anxiety. .. easy.
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