Don't think I can accept having only one

[LilyPilley]

My DD is now 2.4 and I find myself yearning for another. My DD was a particularly difficult baby and in many ways is still is a challenge. The whole experience of being parents was not what we expected (though we wouldn't change it), and I don't think anything could have prepared us. Our marriage took such a strain and I still feel like we're not where we were before DD. Somehow I think my husband resents our DD for changing our lives so dramatically and more so for taking all my attention by being exceptionally difficult and needy. I know he doesn't want another after his experience, he's made that clear, but I can't seem to come to peace with the fact that this may be my one and only child...

Anyone had to accept an only child when they secretly felt different?

[owlbegoing]

In an ideal world I'd have more than just my DD but for a few reasons we can't have more and it looks like I'm going through the perimenopause so I've accepted that she's all we'll have. I know it's cliched but I'm happy that she's healthy and I'm making the most of life with her.

[LilyPilley]

Thanks Owl. I am grateful and treasure my time with her, and I know you're right to remind me to be thankful for what I have. I just struggle to let go of the notion of two children. Most of all, I don't want to wish I had had another in my old age.

[Misfitless]

My DD1 was 9 when DC2 was born. I treasured DD1 and our time together, but I felt an emptiness when I used to think she would be an only child. That feeling never left me tbh, until I had DC2. For 8 years I genuinely believed that she would be an only. I check the one-child families thread as often as the larger families thread because I had an only child for so long.

[Aeroaddict]

I wanted a second child, but it didn't happen, initially because DH was reluctant, then when I finally persuaded him to try for a second it just didn't happen. I still have pangs of wanting another, but most of the time I am happy with what I have got and try to focus on all the positives of it. As owl said, we are so lucky to have a healthy child, so many people don't get that. I also find I don't find parenting particularly difficult or stressful with just one. I find I treasure each stage, as I know I will only get to experience it once, and I have time and money to do much more than if I'd had another child.